I'll admit, my life right now is pretty much a joke, I have no job, and I get no respect. I like to think of myself as a free-spirited person by nature, when I'm not anxious. I like to have fun, I like to joke around, and I act silly sometimes.
But I feel like very few people in my life take me seriously, mostly my parents. My dad constantly ridicules me and puts me down calling me "lazy" "dumb", etc. etc. I wish I could say that what he says to me doesn't affect me, but it does, and I just wish he could have some trust in me, but it seems like he's always viewed me as an incompetent, and I think he truly believes that I won't amount to anything, although he would never say that to me directly.
When I'm not reserved to myself I try to have a good time with everyone, but I feel like I'm just on the other end of people's jokes, and I can handle that, but I just feel like they really don't take me seriously.
I feel a certain unsatisfaction with the way I present myself, its a lot better than how depressed I was a few months ago, but still. What am I doing wrong? What can I do here to allow myself to be presented as a respectful person, all while I getting to have fun with myself and with other people?