No drive, ambition, nothing? - Social Anxiety Forum
X

Download the SAS Android App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

X

Download the SAS iPhone App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

Help/FAQLog InJoin SAS
Go Back   Social Anxiety Forum > Recovery > Coping With Social Anxiety

Reply
Old 10-20-2006, 09:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 687



Default No drive, ambition, nothing?

I have read some posts where people say SA is holding them back. They have all these things they want to accomplish so they push themselves.

I don't have any ambition and I never have. No wonder I couldn't decide on a major, I didn't have any goals at all. What is wrong with me?

All I want to do is take my dog for long walks, that is my goal. Why don't I want to make something of myself and be a productive member of society? There is no drive, no fire in my belly, nothing.

I can't think of one thing I would want to do with my life if I was suddenly cured of SA and depression. When there has been a reduction in my SA and depression I still don't feel any urge to do anything, I am just a little bit happier and not as angry and cranky.

Am I the only one?
KimberlyK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2006, 10:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 42



Default

You are definitely not the only one. A lot of times I just don't feel anything and I wonder why I'm even here.
estrella is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2006, 10:36 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Australia
Age: 29
Posts: 89



Default

No, you are not alone.

I don't want to do anything except sit around on my computer, watch TV and sleep. I have next to no personal or career aspirations and very little motivation in all areas of my life. The only reason I go to work each day and actually achieve something is because I'd die without money for food, water and shelter and I'd be bored without the Internet and TV - that's it. There's no great plan in my life; I'm not working to 'better myself' and get ahead in the world.

To really illustrate my lack of motivation and drive, it actually makes me angry that I'll need to work for the better part of my life just to stay alive and maintain the status quo. If it were up to me I'd fade away into nothingness. Why canít the world just leave me alone and stop requiring me for things? Why must I have responsibilities when it comes to family, friends and work? Why is the burden of simply being alive forced upon me? I never asked for all of this. Please, just go away and let me waste space in peace.

To reiterate: I don't want to do anything.

Note: As a disclaimer, Iíve been to college and studied engineering but my heart was never in it. (It's tough trying to get through uni when you have zero work ethic.)
__________________
"What is the condition of Sergeant Kruger?"
[Pause]
"Very well, let me know if there is any change in his condition."
[Hangs up and turns to others]
"He's dead."
Misanthropy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2006, 02:10 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: planet earth
Posts: 592



Default

The way you talk about ambition, majors and goals i take it you are referring to careers?

Its all a matter of how you choose to look at it. Careers and jobs are only a very small part of who we are, actually they are not "who" we are at all. Society has just placed so much emphasis on the fact that if we are not a "productive" part of society then we are somehow useless and as good faithful flocks of sheep we all follow that train of thought. Life is about so much more that this, its about the type of people we become. Are we good friends to others, do we treat pple with respect and dignity, do we try and make our world a better place etc etc. My goals and drives at the moment are all based on personal growth, trying to make myself the best i can be for me. Sure one of my goals is to find a job and im confident that i can achieve that but i no longer buy into the hype that working is everything. Too many pple place so much emphasis on this and evrything around them tends to get neglected but they are happy b/c they are doing what they are told they should be doing. If taking your dogs for long walks is your goal and makes you happy then go for it there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, its your life and nobody elses business what you do with it. Dont be hard on yourself just b/c you dont share in the thoughts of others. At least you are being honest with yourself.
emeraldoceans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2006, 02:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,707



Default

Quote:
Life is about so much more that this, its about the type of people we become. Are we good friends to others, do we treat pple with respect and dignity, do we try and make our world a better place etc etc
love that
__________________
listen in between your notes
theres something been going on
while you were busy taking notes
and look in between your moments
theres something good happening
its good to sometimes
slow it down

get your head out from those mags
and websites who try to
shape your style
take a risk just for yourself
and wade into the deep end of the ocean

- Panda
Halcyon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2006, 02:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,248



Default

depressed or not, anxious or not, mostly the only constant drive i have (for the past 3 years, and counting) is to sleep. i can sleep anytime,anywhere, and for unusual lengths of time....my brain needs to take a break from itself maybe
instil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2006, 03:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 687



Default

Thanks for all of the responses!

Quote:
Originally Posted by emeraldoceans
The way you talk about ambition, majors and goals i take it you are referring to careers?

Its all a matter of how you choose to look at it. Careers and jobs are only a very small part of who we are, actually they are not "who" we are at all. Society has just placed so much emphasis on the fact that if we are not a "productive" part of society then we are somehow useless and as good faithful flocks of sheep we all follow that train of thought. Life is about so much more that this, its about the type of people we become. Are we good friends to others, do we treat pple with respect and dignity, do we try and make our world a better place etc etc. My goals and drives at the moment are all based on personal growth, trying to make myself the best i can be for me. Sure one of my goals is to find a job and im confident that i can achieve that but i no longer buy into the hype that working is everything. Too many pple place so much emphasis on this and evrything around them tends to get neglected but they are happy b/c they are doing what they are told they should be doing. If taking your dogs for long walks is your goal and makes you happy then go for it there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, its your life and nobody elses business what you do with it. Dont be hard on yourself just b/c you dont share in the thoughts of others. At least you are being honest with yourself.
I do agree that work isn't everything and being a good person is important, I just wish I had a little bit of ambition to enjoy life.

I am now on disability but when I used to work my job wasn't my idea of a real job. A real job is something that pays well and allows for some kind of personal fulfillment. A career isn't everything but if you spend 40 hrs a week or more working it should have some redeeming qualities besides the paycheck.
KimberlyK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2006, 03:40 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
lilly's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: australia
Gender: Female
Age: 55
Posts: 1,533



Default

I've never had any ambition. I allowed people to tell me what course to do and did it. Then I did another course that I wanted to do when I was old enough to decide for myself.
Now I still have no driving ambition. I think it just means that there are people who are not aggressive and don't want stuff so much - that's not such a bad thing.
lilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2006, 03:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,248



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimberly69
A real job is something that pays well and allows for some kind of personal fulfillment. A career isn't everything but if you spend 40 hrs a week or more working it should have some redeeming qualities besides the paycheck.
either i figured it out first, or havent yet had MY OWN moment of clarity...but ive come to find out that a job is exactly that, a place you
have to go early in the morning, and gets you a check on
friday.
instil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2006, 04:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Australia
Gender: Male
Posts: 242



Default

This is a huge problem for me. Im constantly coming up with new ideas of things Id like to do, but know only too well that Ill never do them. I completely lack any drive and motivation to do anything beyond getting out of bed.

I failed at University because of it.

I use to work full time in sales and I did things there only because I had too, I had a boss to answer too after all. But now ive quit that because it was incredibly boring and I dont know what to do with myself. I was thinking of volunteering, but I have no real skills, and I need to do something paid. Money is starting to get very tight.

What Ive failed at because of no motivation drive:

1) Failed uni after 2 years
2) Left a job where I could have been management, because it was boring and I lack drive, motivation
3) Ive let some of my websites go to crap because I havent been bothered to update them..again, I have no self discipline or work ethic these days.
4) Going out to events, functions and what not...

Its an ongoing problem and I think it comes back to the fact ive got nothing to motivate me. Ive only ever worked to put food on the table, Ive never been driven to be a millionaire.

What I lack is a soulmate, someone to push me to do things I want to do...I know thats the problem.
__________________
Thinking is the devil.
Matt J is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2006, 11:52 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,108



Default

Sometimes I have to struggle to find the energy to just get out of bed.
__________________
just one more song to slay this earth
and i can't explain myself just what it's worth
it was all i had, but not all i'd need
and i can't escape the fact that i still bleed
ColdFury is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2006, 05:06 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 133



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt J
Its an ongoing problem and I think it comes back to the fact ive got nothing to motivate me. Ive only ever worked to put food on the table, Ive never been driven to be a millionaire.

What I lack is a soulmate, someone to push me to do things I want to do...I know thats the problem.
Wow! My thoughts exactly. I'm a smart person but have zero drive. I know lacking a significant other is the reason why. When in a relationship you're self esteem skyrockets and the rest falls into place. I've seen it with 2 people I know.

In college I thought a girl in one of my classes was interested in me. I got all A's that semester. Sadly, she justed used me for my notetaking.

I dropped out 6 months later. My drive and motivation was sucked out of me. Not being wanted or loved is a horrible feeling.
moejo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2006, 06:06 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Yuma, Arizona
Age: 38
Posts: 305



Default

I never really had dreams as a kid, sad for sure. I prey to the gods that im right on this one cuz I have a dream now I came up with a few years ago but my self confidence aka SA blinds me right now from seeing it actually blossom. It will though.

Matt: sadly soulmates are not your solution. I know what ur thinkin, many peeps do. They may motivate you from the start, but if ur not happy with yourself, if you dont love yourself, the relationship will ultimately fail. Without self love a soulmate will not help you like you might think, they will ultimately result in pain. If you want a long term positive soulmate, you have to love yourself first.
__________________
Shock Jock for SAS.
Don't get me wrong, I am gorgeous.
It's trust and character that make us who we are.
Who you choose to be around you, let's you know who you are.
Life is simple when you make choices and don't look back.
The fearful let fear lead them.
--F&F Tokyo Drift--
shiznit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2006, 06:37 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Australia
Gender: Male
Posts: 242



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by shiznit
I never really had dreams as a kid, sad for sure. I prey to the gods that im right on this one cuz I have a dream now I came up with a few years ago but my self confidence aka SA blinds me right now from seeing it actually blossom. It will though.

Matt: sadly soulmates are not your solution. I know what ur thinkin, many peeps do. They may motivate you from the start, but if ur not happy with yourself, if you dont love yourself, the relationship will ultimately fail. Without self love a soulmate will not help you like you might think, they will ultimately result in pain. If you want a long term positive soulmate, you have to love yourself first.
Theres a lot of truth in what youre saying, but its a vicious circle isnt it.

The only way im going to love myself is by digging myself out of this pit im in. In order to do that I need to set a lot of things straight, and activate a lot of areas in my life that are currently stagnant or non existant - work, exercise, associations with friends and people, volunteering, going to uni again. But I cant help but think none of that is going to mean squat If I cant find somebody to love and love me back...Everything else is just white noise in comparison.
__________________
Thinking is the devil.
Matt J is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2006, 04:28 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 756



Default

Motivation, drive, ambition low? Yep. I have really nothing to strive towards right now. I'm confused and stuck. There's no other way to describe my personal situation...
IndigoGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2006, 09:43 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
Futures's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Midwest USA
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 3,077



Default

I'm always amazed at how much work experience everyone seems to have. I'm 25, and it seems that everyone started working back when they were 16, and they've consistantly held a variety of different jobs ever since then. By the time they graduate college, they already have 6 or 7 different jobs under their belt.

And here I am, I never even considered working while in school or over the summers when school was out. I just wanted to be a kid and enjoy my summers, and only now do I realize the mistake that was.

When I was sitting in my room all summer long, my peers were out gaining experience and preparing for the future. Seriously, where was I when they taught everyone the importance of being an over-achiever?
Futures is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2006, 06:30 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,248



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Futures
I'm always amazed at how much work experience everyone seems to have. I'm 25, and it seems that everyone started working back when they were 16, and they've consistantly held a variety of different jobs ever since then. By the time they graduate college, they already have 6 or 7 different jobs under their belt.

And here I am, I never even considered working while in school or over the summers when school was out. I just wanted to be a kid and enjoy my summers, and only now do I realize the mistake that was.

When I was sitting in my room all summer long, my peers were out gaining experience and preparing for the future. Seriously, where was I when they taught everyone the importance of being an over-achiever?

while i was out working as an entry level- _______ (fill in the blank, ive had jobs in very different fields) everyone else was in college getting a degree. But I find that now when i go on interviews, im pretty successful despite the fact i never completed college since i have a pretty broad range of experience. You can really only have one or the other, degree or experience...its hard to work full time while you are in school. As long as you have one or the other, you will make it.
instil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2006, 10:24 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 687



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Futures
I'm always amazed at how much work experience everyone seems to have. I'm 25, and it seems that everyone started working back when they were 16, and they've consistantly held a variety of different jobs ever since then. By the time they graduate college, they already have 6 or 7 different jobs under their belt.

And here I am, I never even considered working while in school or over the summers when school was out. I just wanted to be a kid and enjoy my summers, and only now do I realize the mistake that was.

When I was sitting in my room all summer long, my peers were out gaining experience and preparing for the future. Seriously, where was I when they taught everyone the importance of being an over-achiever?
I didn't work at all as a teen-ager. I was 18 when I got a job answering phones and doing light paperwork. I don't think teen-agers should work unless they really want to. You are only young once, you have the whole rest of your life to work.

On the other hand, I wasn't sitting in my room all summer. I had quite a bit of fun as kid. I went horseback riding and swimming and I had plenty of time to read.
KimberlyK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2006, 05:34 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Mission Viejo, CA
Age: 29
Posts: 2,818



Default

I don't really know what to do with my life either. I just kind of sit back and watch and see what happens. Then hope that things go well for me.
__________________
http://www.livejournal.com/users/dazed_girl/
"To err or not to err? That is the question"-Graciously Organized Design
Currently reading: The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie
Currently playing: Freeware
ghostgurl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2006, 01:14 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Australia
Gender: Male
Posts: 242



Default

I got a fair idea of what I want to do...but no motivation to do it. Obviously I dont want that much....Ive tried to develop motivation over time, tried to manufacture it, but I cant seem to stay focused these days.
__________________
Thinking is the devil.
Matt J is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How do you drive? LostInReverie Voting Booth 33 02-16-2010 09:45 PM
Confronting ambition TheWhiteGorilla Coping With Social Anxiety 0 07-30-2009 12:21 AM
Do you drive well? valley_girl1919 Frustration 39 03-15-2009 09:55 PM
SA-Do you drive? How is it? roverred Coping With Social Anxiety 24 02-05-2009 06:30 AM
how much do you drive? odun Society & Culture 30 12-29-2005 06:44 PM

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:08 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® ©2000-2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc. User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.1.0 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.