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Old 07-15-2006, 12:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Neighbors are always outside when I go out

I don't know what it is, but the second I step out my front door, it just so happens to be the same time my neighbors decide to come out to.

I can't even begin to count how many times I've taken that 30 seconds to walk out to the mailbox and get the mail, and then suddenly there is my nieghbor.

Or today, I was outside watering my moms plants and I thought the coast was clear to walk over to the side of the house for a few minutes to water over there. Witihn 20 seconds of being over there, my neighbor came home and pulled into the driveway.
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Old 07-15-2006, 02:07 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I hate that too at my apartment although luckily it hasn't been that much of a problem so far at this place. Maybe think of it as an opportunity to say "hi" though so it is less uncomfortable in the future...I know how hard it is and annoying too.
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Old 07-15-2006, 02:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I have the same problem too,but my neighbours are always sitting on their deck drinking all the time.It's like living nextdoor to a carnival and the clowns are all drunk and out of contro.
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Old 07-15-2006, 02:52 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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I sympathise. I hate the neighbours knowing what I'm doing.
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Old 07-15-2006, 03:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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My neighbors are always outside working on their yards. Whenever I have to cut the grass, they are there, watching me.
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Old 07-15-2006, 04:18 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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My next door neighbors are always outside. In fact, I can't even think of a time when I didn't see them out there!! I can see them outside of my window as I type this. My neighbors across the street are always outside too. I just sort of avoid them and don't make eye contact. I don't really stress about it, I think my neighbors understand that me and my parents are private, quiet people and they don't judge us negatively for it.
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Old 07-15-2006, 04:24 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Neighbors are always outside when I go out

Quote:
Originally Posted by Futures
I don't know what it is, but the second I step out my front door, it just so happens to be the same time my neighbors decide to come out to.

I can't even begin to count how many times I've taken that 30 seconds to walk out to the mailbox and get the mail, and then suddenly there is my nieghbor.

Or today, I was outside watering my moms plants and I thought the coast was clear to walk over to the side of the house for a few minutes to water over there. Witihn 20 seconds of being over there, my neighbor came home and pulled into the driveway.
Holy **** I thought I was the only one. It's the same neighbours every single time too. I go to get in the recycling boxes...they're coming back from walking the dog. I go out to get the mail...they're going out to get the mail. Just the other day I went out for a walk...as soon as I emerged from the garage, their frickin garage door starts opening and out they come and jump into the van. It's like every time. I'll go out, and within fifteen seconds someone's either coming out of their house, or turning the corner to come back.
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Old 07-15-2006, 05:48 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Neighbors are always outside when I go out

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Originally Posted by Zephyr
It's like every time. I'll go out, and within fifteen seconds someone's either coming out of their house, or turning the corner to come back.
ya. The funny thing is, is before I go out, I always look out the window to make sure no one is out there. And if the coast is clear, then I go out. But that plan always seems to backfire.
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Old 07-15-2006, 06:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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^I do the same thing!
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Old 07-16-2006, 08:25 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Neighbors are always outside when I go out

Quote:
Originally Posted by Futures
I don't know what it is, but the second I step out my front door, it just so happens to be the same time my neighbors decide to come out to.

I can't even begin to count how many times I've taken that 30 seconds to walk out to the mailbox and get the mail, and then suddenly there is my nieghbor.

Or today, I was outside watering my moms plants and I thought the coast was clear to walk over to the side of the house for a few minutes to water over there. Witihn 20 seconds of being over there, my neighbor came home and pulled into the driveway.
Yep,

I have neighbors all around! I go out to get some sun in my backyard deck and I have one neighbor who is out working in his yard doing home improvement stuff, and recently got a shed to put his things in - tearing down trees and making noise with buzz saws, etc. Last year it was his back porch.

The other neighbor comes out every few minutes, usually to check on his barbecue when he starts it up. Other than that, when he sees me out, he goes inside. We don't speak to each other - goes way back to when my mother was mentally ill and still living in the house. I have often sometimes wondered if they thought I was following in her footsteps. .

A third neighbor (college-age) is completely afraid of me. I have never said a word to him or done a thing.

Neighbors are weird, especially in today's society - they're wrapped up in thier own lives.

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Old 07-16-2006, 08:51 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Neighbors are always outside when I go out

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Originally Posted by Futures
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephyr
It's like every time. I'll go out, and within fifteen seconds someone's either coming out of their house, or turning the corner to come back.
ya. The funny thing is, is before I go out, I always look out the window to make sure no one is out there. And if the coast is clear, then I go out. But that plan always seems to backfire.
LOL I do the EXACT same thing--peer out the windows to make sure the coast is clear. And then as soon as I open the door and step out someone else will too. Its even worse in my backyard--my back door is in plain view with NO OBSTRUCTION of the neighbor's deck and they always seem to step out at the same time as me.
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Old 07-16-2006, 11:07 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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One day, Futures, I was standing in my backyard and the neighbor (and her Berniese Mountain Dog) in back of us was staring down at me from her upstairs bedroom window. My house is one-story.

I was somewhat taken aback, but just waved at her and said "Hell-o, I am glad you're dog people!" She just said, she loved her boy!

WE had only been in our new home for about a week, and had (before he passed away) one big, black doggie named Ebony. He was very loud and protective and territorial..thus, the reason for my being glad they were dog people. Her dog is very loud, too.

Anyway, back to your original post--I know it is difficult to have neighbors come out every time you go out, but you have just as much right to go out as they do. Try and ignore them and go about your business, okay,Futures?

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Old 07-16-2006, 11:43 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I not only check for people before leaving, I also mow my lawn early Tuesday afternoons to avoid seeing people. I walk my dog around the back yard(6-foot privacy fence) instead of around the block. I check mail in the middle of the night. It's pathetic when you think about it.

I used to be in the Army and moderately social, but I have become this way since I started working at home on the computer. Sometimes I think I need some kind of medication, but I really hate the idea of taking anything.
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Old 07-16-2006, 11:56 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by solitudeforever
I not only check for people before leaving, I also mow my lawn early Tuesday afternoons to avoid seeing people. I walk my dog around the back yard(6-foot privacy fence) instead of around the block. I check mail in the middle of the night. It's pathetic when you think about it.

I used to be in the Army and moderately social, but I have become this way since I started working at home on the computer. Sometimes I think I need some kind of medication, but I really hate the idea of taking anything.
Hi SolitudeForever.

First of all I can relate to the measures you take just to avoid contact with others -- it does also make me feel pathetic.

Medication seems the only remaining route for me to take. I've tried basically my own exposure routines which consist of working 48 hours per week, but alas, they haven’t fostered any close relationships and I find myself just coming home and staying there 'til it's time for work again. I'm willing to try anything that will help encumber this monotonous cycle.
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Old 07-16-2006, 12:57 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Hey ScottishSamurai,

Do you work with many people and do you socialize much at work? If you end up trying medication, let me know if it works,ll as I may have to bite the bullet as well.

The pictures I've seen from Scotland are amazing. I've got to travel there some day.
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Old 07-16-2006, 01:17 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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I work with a lot of people and most are generally under-21 Uni students just making some cash to go out drinking with. Occasionally I join them on a Friday for a couple of drinks but I must be pretty boring to be around seeing as I rarely initiate or at least maintain a conversation.

I truly don't like the idea of taking drugs to help me out either, but I have to face the cold hard facts that I am not getting anywhere alone. You won't have to wait long to find out the outcome as I'll be seeing a GP tomorrow morning, and everything is crossed.

You should come to Scotland, especially if you enjoy golf and dreary weather. Americans are welcomed with open arms in the UK -- the fact they have the fattest wallets notwithstanding.
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Old 07-16-2006, 01:41 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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I'm reading thru this thread and of course, RELATING big time.....and then a thought struck me.

Perhaps we see the neighbors as "being outside" when we are also <all the time,> because NORMALLY, people without SA wouldn't give it a second thought....and here we are checking out the window, etc.

Peope enjoy the out of doors .... we just are very aware of it because it bothers and/or upsets us.

I avoid my neighbor and she even called me Friday to invite me down for lemonade (ACK!) and I politely declined......saying I had a doc's appt.

That is HOW BADLY I just do NOT want to sit around drinking lemonade and making "small talk". She took it very personally I'm afraid (it's like the fourth time she's asked me) and now I'm even MORE afraid of seeing her outside. ROFL!

Oh how pathetic, isn't it?

Anyway.....just a thought on WHY we are so hyperaware of the presence of our neighbors.......it's possible that it may not be WEIRD that they seem to always be outside at the same time.....it's just that we are so darn VIGILIANT.

*sigh*

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Old 07-16-2006, 11:25 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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This happens to me, too. I always check to make sure nobody is around before I go outside. There are certain people who I least want to run into, and so I double check for them. I then go outside, and people are popping out from behind their homes, they are driving up in their cars, dogs are being let outside, neighbors begin washing their cars, children are running around their yards, people I don't even know are walking up and down the street in front of me.
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Old 07-18-2006, 05:20 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluecat
I'm as stealthy as a ninja. I moved into this apartment in late December and I've yet to run into any of my neighbors.
Lucky you!
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Old 07-18-2006, 05:48 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Oh wow - I can also relate to this thread - big time! I feel like a big grouch, but I dread the thought of encountering my neighbors and when I do, my anxiety is manifested as all kinds of hostile thoughts and feelings. In my head, I get mad at the neighbor for "timing" their activities "perfectly" so that they can run into me. I get paranoid that the men are "checking me out", looking at my butt or something (many females may like the thought of this - but for some reason it really bothers me in this situation). I also get mad at "fate". My social-anxiety makes me one angry b*tch.

Despite my extreme social-anxiety, I've been on a bit of an exercise addiction for the past few months and I go for 45-minute power walks around my neighborhood 3 to 4 times a week. Let me tell you...it certainly isn't easy on my psyche. Cars will be backing out of their driveway (or pulling into their driveway) just as I am right there at the driveway - whenever anything like this happens, I always feel like it's an opportunity to get stared at. All sorts of "cruel" stuff happens. Last week, I was walking by the house across the street from me, and the couple who lives there happened to be out toward the front of their driveway talking. I get all tense as I approach the house (and the lady hasn't exactly been friendly to me in the past - I've been out walking and in the distance her car will be passing, and she'll just be staring at me w/o seemingly making any efforts to speak) - I go through all the usual anxiety stuff about suddenly not knowing where to look, etc. I made a conscious decision to casually look the other way just to relieve my tension a bit and to do something with my gaze - but a few seconds later, I make the decision to look their way and perhaps speak. When I look at them, both of them are just standing there staring at me - and it seemed as though they had been staring at me for "awhile" too - for at least a few seconds before I discovered it. They continue staring even after I look at them. I try my best to "play it cool" even as my head is going haywire - I just look at them (well, perhaps mainly at the man b/c it is easier to look at one person than to try to look at them both) and say "hi" in a cool manner. The man responds with a "hi" - the lady just continues to look at me w/o speaking.

It was so upsetting - I'm burining up with negative thoughts inside. I even seriously consider (and I'm still considering it) approaching them and "explaining" to them what I am dealing with. People make judgements about you perhaps having no idea just what is going on in your head - and I think this incident may be yet another case of this. It's as if they were talking amongst themselves - "will that rude, stuck-up b*tch speak to us?!" and/or "there goes the saddity one...". Sometimes you just want to tell people in no uncertain terms that not everyone finds it easy to speak to others - some people are dealing with significant shyness issues. They just don't know how much I suffer.
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