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Old 07-10-2010, 11:10 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default negative thoughs, negative feelings, negative view of life and how to fix it

every one have social phobia have negative thoughs, negative feelings, negative view of life

this there are a real killer for our present, future and for every thing good in our life

if you really want to get your life back you have to know what you are doing wrong and change it

as a result your life will change into a bettr life

your biggest 3 mistakes are

1- your negative thoughts
2- your negative feelings
3- your negative view of the life and the world around you

to be continued



part two

important facts about the human brain

first before we we talk about negative thoughts, negative feelings and the negative view of world, life and ourself we have to know som important facts about the human brain (your brain)

every thought inside your brain have its own neural pathway in side your brain this pathway is tangible its real
this pathways contains messages, thoughts and feelings


the human brain works like the rest of the body it works under the principle of use it or lose it

if you keep using a neural pathway it become stronger if you stop using a neural pathway it grows smaller and eventually dies

what we want to do is to kill the negative neural pathways that contains the negative thoughts, feelings and messages

what we will do is to create new positive neural pathways that contains positive thoughts, feeling and messages

we dont use any medications to do this, we use our own brain to do it

we will build the positive neural pathways using our brain and we will also kill the negative neural pathways using our brain

to be continued


part three

automatic negative thoughts how to recognize them, how to kill them and how to build automatic positive thoughts

new very important fact about your brain any thought you repeat to your brain many times becomes automatic inside your brain that mean your brain will use it after a while with out you know

so for example if you keep saying that you are a loser then your brain will belive you and it will become automatic inside your brain eventually your reactions and decisions will depend on this thought
the same thing happens if you keep saying im a sucessfull person your brain will belive it and it will become automatic and your reactions and decisions will go throught this direction


question how can i recognize my any thought if its negative thought or positive thought ?
well any thought scare you inhibit you or depress you makes you shaking is a negative thought


some examples for the negative thoughts:
i am afraid to talk to people
i am a loser
i am losing my mind
i am crazy
i hate to speak in front of people
every one is looking at me


how to kill this negative thoughts ?
its easy to kill this thoughts if you know the right way
if you are trying to beat you self up to face your fears then you will fail (im sure you did it and it never work) you are not ready to face your fears and you are doing it very wrong you are just torture your self more

the right way to kill this negative thoughts is by

1- stop thinking about this thought once you have a thought ignore it like you are ignoring some one bothering you if you keep thinking about this negative thought you will make its neural pathway stronger
2- give your brain statment like this "stop this is another automatic negative thought this thought is a lier its trying to steal every think good in my life i choose to get back my life i choose to belive the truth not ti belive lies a used to belive for many years"



how to change this thought with a positive one ?

you are only doing the half of the mission by stopping and ignoring this thought the other half is to give your brain the opposite positive idea

for example if you have a negative thought that you are a loser give your brain statment like this "i amm a smart person i am a good person i refuse to belive this lies from the past now i know better"
do the same thing with any negative thought you have



very important notes to make this way work:
1- start using this way when you are not in a pressuring situation for a while until you feel it will work in pressuring situations
2- your thoughts will not change from the first time or the second time it will take days and weeks to work but you will feel the difference fast (not very fast)


part four

negative feelings how to catch it and how to stop it

negative feelings are the feeling of fear or depression or any kind of feelings that appear in the time where it should not appear

for example if you are facing a lion its very normal that you have feelings of fear your brain know that this situation is threatening so it start to pump Adrenaline and Cortisol that gives you this feeling of fear in fact this hormones makes you think and move faster so that you can survive

but when you have a feeling of fear in social situations then this is a negative feeling because there is no real threatening here

remember that negative feelings are always liars

now how can we stop this feelings ?

to stop this feelings you must remind your brain that this feeling is negative and not true so you give your brain a statment like this "this feelings i have right now are lieing feelings there is no threatening situation here to have this feelings" then take a deep breath and let go

start to talk slowly this will help to calm you down

use any relaxation technique this will help alot too

very important fact about human feelings :
to change your feelings you must act first your feelings will never change until you act so if you are waiting for your feelings to change so that you can do something then you will wait for ever

so if you have an old feelings for a situation you must face it to change your feelings about this situation but you must face your fears using the right way

to face your fears you have to face only one fear each time and it must be a small one after a while when you get sucess facing one small fear each time it wioll turn to be a big sucess thats why alot of us always fail to overcome this lieing feelings because they face a big anxiety situations

to be continued


part five
last part

your negative view of the life and the world around you

every one of us have:

a good side and a bad side
a light side and a dark side
a positive side and a negative side

each moment in your life you decide which side you will take the good, light and positive side or the bad, dark and negative side it's really 100% your choice

one of our biggest mistakes that lead us to social phobia is we decide to see the negative side in every thing arround us by seeing negative things around us we feed the negative side inside us the more we keep looking at negative things around us and searching for them the more our life become darker and the more we belive that every thing arround us is bad, dark and negative

but if you decide to see the positive things in every thing arround you even in the worst Situations this will fead the good, light and positive side inside you and your brain will belive that life is beautiful and every body is good

belive it or not there are a lot of people live this way and they are very happey even in warest life Situations they make all arround them wonder what makes them happey

so its your choice what you want to see i ma not telling you to be Naive i know the is good and bad in life but you can see every thing good in life and be strong at the same time to face bad Situations

good luck .

source: my own post in another social anxiety forum
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Old 07-10-2010, 09:14 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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awesome post thanks
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Old 07-11-2010, 04:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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That's definitely something to think about. Thank you
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Old 07-11-2010, 05:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Default hmm

Interesting and from my personal perspective a lot of that sounded like it came from the same place CBT comes from. However,

"your biggest 3 mistakes are

1- your negative thoughts
2- your negative feelings
3- your negative view of the life and the world around you"

One of the most dangerous statements ever. Mistakes? Who says? A negative thought is a mistake? Why? A negative feeling is a mistake? Why? A negative view of life and the world is a mistake? Why? There's a huge amount of frankly awe inspiring resources, skills, processes and content involved in the creation of the how things are for a person currently. It might not be what the person wants in their life and it may not be helpful or purposeful but calling such things mistakes is basically calling a person a mistake because they've created this state using the amazing resources they have at their disposal. Of course circumstance has acted too so it's not all created by the person but I digress.

Starting off by dismissing things like thoughts, feelings and view of life and the world as "mistakes" just because they may be considered from one angle or outlook as "negative" is dangerous because it makes fun of the very resources the person will utilise to heal themselves. And you really can't generate too much faith within a person by beginning a conversation with the words: "here are all the mistakes you've made....."

"the human brain works like the rest of the body it works under the principle of use it or lose it"

So, if I don't use my arm, I'm going to lose it? I'm now terrified for my private parts. Best make sure I keep using them else they'll fall off.

"what we want to do is to kill the negative neural pathways that contains the negative thoughts, feelings and messages".

This is a very dangerous approach. Sounds a bit like psychological surgery without a license. Killing a neural pathway that has been judged to be "negative" is not going to stop a psychological parasite and the individual is not utilising their sensory acuity or their own resources to create organic growth within the self. So the individual ends up with one or two less neural pathways and no ownership or tangible experience of the healing process.

"we will build the positive neural pathways using our brain and we will also kill the negative neural pathways using our brain "

Phrased like that, with respect, sounds like we're going to ask the brain to kill itself or self harm. We use our brain to kill bits of our brain? How are we judging these neural pathways as positive or negative anyway? How is what is and what is not a negative or positive thought being judged for that matter? And, since you're ignoring the system by focusing on the brain as if it is the be all and end all of the healing process, the individual isn't that likely to feel that the changes that may occur from this approach exist or have happened on multiple levels.

"so for example if you keep saying that you are a loser then your brain will belive you and it will become automatic inside your brain eventually your reactions and decisions will depend on this thought".

Reactions and decisions may well be motivated or informed by a belief system and or filter that was generated from the repeated experience of a person calling themselves a "loser". However, it's not the thoughts that do that. Not on their own. All those with SA, think right now that you don't have SA. Thoughts are all powerful by themselves so now you must all be happy and healthy. The negative stuff's power isn't coming from a one level thought. Even if that thought is repeated over and over again in the mind. The power comes from multiple level experiences. I believe I'm ugly? Why? Is it because I just happened to think it over and over again? Not likely. More likely is it's because I thought it, I observed and interpreted other people's reactions towards me, I had feelings associated with the thoughts and experiences, I had some sensory awareness (even if I was mistaken) of feeling uncomfortable with being in my body....


"the same thing happens if you keep saying im a sucessfull person your brain will belive it and it will become automatic and your reactions and decisions will go throught this direction".

Doing that is not enough. As I said earlier, just thinking over and over again that you don't have SA won't automatically make you think you don't have SA. Not if it is stuck on one level with no sensory acuity or knowledge of the organic growth processes of change from within the person.

To be continued....
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Old 07-11-2010, 06:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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hi joinmartin it's strange writing 4 replys and every one that long and show every word in this thread wrong

please thread readers make comments about what you think about this thread
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