my voice get shaky when talking directly to someone sometimes :( - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-07-2009, 04:04 PM Thread Starter
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my voice get shaky when talking directly to someone sometimes :(

this really kills me. sometimes when I have to talk to someone my voice gets shaky like im running out of air to finish my sentence and then I have to swallow to make it feel better then im ok for a while. its like im going to cry or something while im talking, this cant be happening to me!! how the hell do i stop this!!!
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-07-2009, 04:43 PM
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What helps me with this type of thing is anxiety medication like Klonopin or Xanax. Have you tried these things? I don't think that wishing it away helps 'cause I've definitely tried that, and when I think about my voice trembling, it only makes it that much worse.
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-07-2009, 04:49 PM
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I have the same problem but I thought it was just me...is it related to SA?

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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-07-2009, 04:53 PM
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I have the same problem but I thought it was just me...is it related to SA?
I think so, because it only happens for me when I am talking to someone that I'm nervous around, mainly when I have to talk in front of large groups. I can feel my voice tremble, my hands sweat, my heart pound, my head become dizzy...It's all related to SA.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-07-2009, 07:03 PM
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Originally Posted by SadRosesAreBeautiful View Post
I think so, because it only happens for me when I am talking to someone that I'm nervous around, mainly when I have to talk in front of large groups. I can feel my voice tremble, my hands sweat, my heart pound, my head become dizzy...It's all related to SA.
Yea me to.. I get really bad if someone makes me nervous because of social status/looks. I talk like an idiot and my hands shake and my heart races and they probably can tell i'm freaking out...its really pathetic lol.
I've been told to tell yourself to relax(laugh) and to talk slower and it will help with the awkward talking. I'm still trying to be relaxed but damn it's just soo freakin hard when you know it's irrational and still nervous.

Errr maybe we're soo nervous we try to end the conversation as fast as possible so we stumble then it's downhill from there??

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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-07-2009, 07:03 PM
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Oh yeah this is me too! Sometimes i can fix it by focusing really hard on my speaking but this makes it difficult to keep up with the conversation. I mainly get this around superiors, strangers or a cute girl
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-09-2009, 09:48 PM
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I get the exact same thing, except its always in "informal" situations, when i'm talking in front of large groups i usually have a "speech" prepared for exactly what i'm going to say, so i'm not as nervous.
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-10-2009, 12:45 PM
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I have this when I talk to pretty much anyone - regardless if I'm nervous around them or not. I think because I know my voice can go weird/I can get breathless/ my hands shake/ I go red that I'm getting nervous of having all those visible symptoms and so they inevitably happen because Im nervous of them happening. Its pretty embarrassing, sometimes I've even made up crap like 'oh sorry I'm out of breath I've just ran here'.
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-10-2009, 06:01 PM
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My voice gets high. It's incredibly annoying
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-13-2010, 12:29 PM
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sometimes i feel like i don't even have a real voice.. it almost changes
tone to me every sentence i speak .. its weird. and sometimes i feel like my voice box is buried deep inside me and i can't help but mumble but im actually trying to speak loudly. its a really weird feeling that i don't know how to get over.
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-13-2010, 02:28 PM
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Totally know what you mean. It is one of my main problems with my SA is that I am in fear of my voice getting shaky (because it always happens!) so that's like one of the main reasons I avoid talking unless I have to. I hate the feeling of having just said something and had my voice shake or change up on me...HATE IT. I feel so embarrassed for real...and all the thoughts that immediately start running through my head about what the other person or persons are currently thinking of me after hearing how nervous I sound. What's worse is the puzzled or confused look on their faces at times when they just don't understand why someone would be acting in such a way...there's why it's hard for me to maintain eye contact with people cause I'd rather not see their disappointed looks on their faces when I'm just not able to socialize in a normal/regular way. Endless cycle of avoidance thats been in motion for years. I'm at the point of thinking of trying some type of medication for it. Never been one that was into taking any type of pills, but if its what will help me out then so be it...life is too short to not give it a try.
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-13-2010, 05:54 PM
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i have the exact same problem, i usually try and put my head down a little and cover my throat so they wont see me swallowing. i think its because i dont pace myself when talking. im trying to get out of there as fast as possible, then i end up running out of breath and coming off as really nervous.
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-13-2010, 06:06 PM
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Yeah, this has happened to me as well in the past. I stop talking, clear my throat and carry on. If I get too nervous I'll start talking crazy fast as well so I have to consciously slow myself down.
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-13-2010, 06:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruinMYlife View Post
this really kills me. sometimes when I have to talk to someone my voice gets shaky like im running out of air to finish my sentence and then I have to swallow to make it feel better then im ok for a while. its like im going to cry or something while im talking, this cant be happening to me!! how the hell do i stop this!!!
There is a method that Dr. Richards talks about called "slow talk". You should practice purposefully slowing down your speech - you will notice there is more confidence and less nerves when you slow down your speech pattern - it also comes across more confident.

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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-13-2010, 09:10 PM
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There is a method that Dr. Richards talks about called "slow talk". You should practice purposefully slowing down your speech - you will notice there is more confidence and less nerves when you slow down your speech pattern - it also comes across more confident.
thanks. i'm gonna try that.
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-17-2013, 12:04 PM
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Same here!

The voice issue is one of my biggest problems. It cracks and breaks whenever I am in an anxiety causing meeting and if the meeting is bad enough for me to be worrying about it in advance, my voice can start going in advance. The more I try and control it the worse it gets. I have to act like I don't realise so other people don't react. I've had Emotional Behavioural Technique and that has helped reduce my intense thinking about it, but decided to try some medication. I don't want to become addicted to anything though.
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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 05:24 AM
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Totally know what you mean. It is one of my main problems with my SA is that I am in fear of my voice getting shaky (because it always happens!) so that's like one of the main reasons I avoid talking unless I have to. I hate the feeling of having just said something and had my voice shake or change up on me...HATE IT. I feel so embarrassed for real...and all the thoughts that immediately start running through my head about what the other person or persons are currently thinking of me after hearing how nervous I sound. What's worse is the puzzled or confused look on their faces at times when they just don't understand why someone would be acting in such a way...there's why it's hard for me to maintain eye contact with people cause I'd rather not see their disappointed looks on their faces when I'm just not able to socialize in a normal/regular way. Endless cycle of avoidance thats been in motion for years. I'm at the point of thinking of trying some type of medication for it. Never been one that was into taking any type of pills, but if its what will help me out then so be it...life is too short to not give it a try.
Your situation sounds exactly like me. I'd like to avoid medications too, as I'm afraid of the side effects. I'm out of school now, but we sometimes have classes or meetings at work. There are some situations where I'd like to speak up in a class or meeting, but I'm so afraid my voice will get shaky and I don't like all the attention focused on me anyway. When they go around the room for everyone to introduce themselves or tell something, I just want to sink under the table. I think everyone already thinks I'm weird because I don't talk that much. Oh yeah, and luckily I don't have to be on the phone that often at work, but that makes me extremely nervous too and my voice shakes really bad. If they were all nice people that called, it would be better I think, but a lot of the people are upset or impatient about something, which makes me nervous too. Oh, and also, I must just have a horrible phone voice in general as usually I'm ok when I first answer the phone, but a bunch of people that call that don't know me personally have asked me if I have a cold or they say I don't sound so good when I'm just fine. That upsets me too...I still haven't figured out a good response to that yet. I'm sure everyone sitting around me probably thinks I'm a freak. I wish I could just be normal on the phone and have a normal voice like other people. There is a lady that sits near me that hates the phone too, but she does great on the phone anyway. She doesn't sound abnormal like I know I do.
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 05:54 AM
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same here. you need to practice your voice..... sing and sing a lotttt! and loud. will help it be strong and stable.


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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 06:21 AM
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It only happens to me when I speak in public(I get really nervous)

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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 06:24 AM
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it might make you giggle mid convo but try imagining the person your talking too is a giant talking carrot then instead of going shaky you wont stop giggling
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