Social Anxiety Support

Daveee · 10-03-2009, 10:08 AM

Update:

I joined an MMA club at my local college and have been going there every Friday for the last 4 weeks. I have a fear of conflict with people so I joined the mma club to gain confidence at defending myself. I really like the club and it has given me confidence in self defense. MMA stands for mixed martial art.

After attending the club, I stopped by an electronic store and did some exposure. I initiated conversation with 2 people at the store by asking questions and commenting. I also joked around with the cashier girl.

I'm starting to feel comfortable with the exposure so I think I need to go out of my comfort zone and move down the exposure list. Before I was really excited that I could initiate a conversation with people in public but now it's like "eh, it was nothing special"

Daveee · 10-05-2009, 02:53 AM

I did more exposures today. I feel kinda redundant posting these updates because the exposures are pretty much the same. I take back what I said about me being comfortable with the exposure. To a certain degree I am but not 100%.

I hope that these exposures will help me. Currently I don't see or feel any different in anxiety level because the time interval is too short. I only see a different in anxiety level if I compare it to a year ago. I think the progress i'm currently making is too small to see. If I do these exposures for about 6 more months and let the daily progress accumulates, then I will be able to clearly see it.

I should go to sleep now because tomorrow I will get another chance to face my fear and improve myself.

Anna · 10-05-2009, 09:33 AM

i wouldn't worry about redundant posts. i think progress can seem different according to your mood, like how you changed how comfortable you felt a couple days later. but it's realistic to everyone, and to see not only your progress but your view of your own situation is what i think makes this thread interesting. you're not a robot, i like reading how your feelings shift.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daveee

I hope that these exposures will help me. Currently I don't see or feel any different in anxiety level because the time interval is too short. I only see a different in anxiety level if I compare it to a year ago. I think the progress i'm currently making is too small to see. If I do these exposures for about 6 more months and let the daily progress accumulates, then I will be able to clearly see it.

i think that's the best way to look at progress - with lots of time. i've found comparing one week to the next to not be worth much because any changes aren't second nature or even much easier yet, and my confidence in my progress jumps all over the place. it's a really insecure feeling. when you compare at six months to a year you'll be able to see what real progress you've made.

that said, i think you're doing great. you're keeping on top of things, and not giving long periods between exposures which i think is extremely helpful. if you post the exact same exposures every day with your take on it all, i think it'll still be worth reading for me. so keep it up.

No-Sturm-und-Drang · 10-05-2009, 04:39 PM

I think even social butterflies have a hard time with rejection from the opposite sex. But I think its awesome that you are ready to help yourself and you are setting goals because too many people get comfortable in their failures and dont help themselves. I wish you the best of luck.

Daveee · 10-11-2009, 08:22 AM

Update:

I just realized that I'm not spending my time efficiently on exposure. I can spend 3 hours at a store or other public places and get only 1-3 exposures (initiate convo with somebody I don't know). The reason why I spend so much time is because I can only initiate conversation with people who have a "conversation starter." For example if somebody is wearing an interesting t-shirt, then I can ask him about it. Otherwise it's very hard for me to initiate a conversation. I have this belief that going up to somebody and starting a conversation when there's no reason to makes me look wierd.

Because of the current roadblock above, I'm revising my exposure strategy. Since it's hard for me to talk to people in public, I'm going to take my exposure a step backward. Instead of doing exposure in public, I'm going to use meetup.com and attend meetups and talk to strangers there instead. It's easier for me to engage people when in a group. Eventually I would want to be able to talk to any strangers in public at anytime. Currently I'm just not there yet. I will still try to talk to strangers in public but it will not be my dialy goal. If I see an oppotunity to do exposure then I will but I won't make it my daily routine.

I went to a bar last night I felt very relaxed compared to the last time I was there which was about 7-8 months ago. No I didn't strike up a conversation with anybody but I'm still proud of myself. Feeling relaxed and being myself is the first step.

Doing expsoures take up a lot of time and energy. I think an advice that I would give to people doing exposure is to pace yourself! Be patient because getting over SA is an endurance game! Don't do a jack rabbit start and burn up all your energy. Start slow and pace yourself because it's going to be a long road ahead.

Daveee · 10-11-2009, 08:25 AM

I found out that my college class will end early. I'm disappointed because it is the perfect place for me to do exposure. It's not too scary or too easy.

TheForgotten · 10-11-2009, 01:39 PM

Hey man, you can try and make a free blog at wordpress.com or blogspot.com, it what's it for

It also might be a bit easier to follow other blogs from people with SA!

david90 · 10-14-2009, 12:15 AM

I used meetup.com and I went to a meet up. It was a group of 6 including me and we went to eat. The group has both guys and girls. My goals for this meet up was:
1. Be myself
2. Engage people in conversation.

I did engage people in conversation and for most part I was myself. If I found something that wasn't not funny, I didn't laugh even though the group laughed. Basically my mentally was if people like me, they will like me. If they don't then I will move on. I don't have to go along with the group. I was pretty comfortable at the meet up.

It's not a priority but I still go out to stores daily to do exposures. In certain situation, I can chat people up but I still can't in most situations. I want to be able to chat anybody up at anytime and I feel that I using meetup.com is an intermediary exposure step before I can achieve my goal.

david90 · 10-14-2009, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheForgotten

Hey man, you can try and make a free blog at wordpress.com or blogspot.com, it what's it for

It also might be a bit easier to follow other blogs from people with SA!

I know but I feel more at home here. Plus I think it's for convenience for people here when reading my entries.

zomgz · 10-14-2009, 01:00 AM

I like reading them, idk when you started but i just read them all and i love how you write =D it's very personal and i feel like i can really follow along.
<- i'm a terrible writer lmao xD
you really inspire me though, glad that it's working for you and that you are beating it!! gogogogogogogo!! *cheerrss!!*

I'm planning to go to a meetup group party on halloween, it should be fun!! =] I can't wait, i'm nervous and excited at the same time! =D

I set a goal, I'm gonna try it and see if it works! I'm going to:
Count to 3, take a deep breath and say Hi to the person nearest to me C:
it's not much but it's a conversation starter yeh?? =D better than never saying anything!! =]

Bobbyjoe1390 · 10-14-2009, 03:40 PM

Loving this thread! Very inspirational, and hopefully leads me to getting me off my butt and doing something like this soon =]

Daveee · 10-17-2009, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zomgz

I like reading them, idk when you started but i just read them all and i love how you write =D it's very personal and i feel like i can really follow along.
<- i'm a terrible writer lmao xD
you really inspire me though, glad that it's working for you and that you are beating it!! gogogogogogogo!! *cheerrss!!*

I'm planning to go to a meetup group party on halloween, it should be fun!! =] I can't wait, i'm nervous and excited at the same time! =D

I set a goal, I'm gonna try it and see if it works! I'm going to:
Count to 3, take a deep breath and say Hi to the person nearest to me C:
it's not much but it's a conversation starter yeh?? =D better than never saying anything!! =]

I'm a pretty bad writer. One of my other goals for writing this blog is to improve my writing skill!

Update:

On Wednesday, I went to my night class. I got there late so everybody was seated when i entered the classroom. I wanted to sit with somebody new so it took me about 5 sec to scan the room to find a seat. During the class break, I turned to the guy seated next to me and asked him if I did the exercises that were online. We talked for a bit.

The night class broke up into group of two to do a lab exercise. Two of the guys in the class asked me if I wanted to be his partner. I bet if I did not talked to them on other previous meeting, they would not be comfortable asking me to be their partner. Because of this, I think it shows how much my demeanor has improved. I think I'm a lot more relax now and it allows people to engage me more easily. Also I felt good because somebody took the initiative instead of me

.

On Friday, I went to my MMA meetup at a local college as usual. I met and talked to a couple of people there.

After the club meetup, I went to a local electronic store. At the store, I saw a guy trying to buy a keyboard and I asked him why it is so expensive. I didn't have trouble doing it but any exposure will help.

Today, which is Saturday, I volunteered at a non-proft org doing computer work. I didn't initiate any conversations but I did try to "be myself."
I consider being myself an exposure exercise. When doing the exercise, I try to be relax and loose. If I have something to say then I was say it. If not I just keep my mouth shut. If I find something funny, I laugh but if not that I don't even if other people laugh. Basically, I just trying to be myself and not be influenced by the people around me.

Here is a belief that I have adopted:
"Unless what you did yesterday is helping you today, don't do you what you did yesterday"

For years, I did same thing over and over again and it did not help me.

Daveee · 10-21-2009, 08:59 PM

Sunday:
I went bowling with one of my friend. There were group people in the adjacent lanes and I briefly talked to both. I just commented on their games and asked them questions.

Also at the bowling alley I think there is a girl that's interested in me. I'm nervous about pursuing but i will just let it play out and see what will happen. She bowls there often. She acknowledges me every time we see each other. That doesn't happen a lot to me. I think the next time I see her, I'm going to approach her and do something that genuinely represent me. I'm not sure what I'm going to do but that's the point. I don't want to plan it out.

Monday:
sick

Tuesday:
sick.

Wednesday:
I went to my night class and I took the final. I sat next to a guy and I just asked him a couple of questions regarding the class. When it was time to take the final , the guy that I sat next to took out his ipod and prepared it so that he could listen to music while taking the final. I jokingly asked him if he recorded some notes in his ipod. we had a small laugh.

Daveee · 10-28-2009, 02:40 PM

I'm changing up this blog. Instead of just writing about SA, I'm going to writing about my goals in life. I've listed the goals that I want to achieve in life in the first post of this thread. Everyday I will write about how I'm actively working towards those goal.

Here are my goals

1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship.
2. Move out of my parents' home and be an independent man
3. Make good money so that I can have a comfortable lifestyle.

Daveee · 10-28-2009, 02:45 PM

What did I do today that will help me achieve the goals below?
10/28/09

1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship.

I went to a local electronics store again to do exposure. I saw two guys buying a piece of computer hardware that I had experience with before. I just started telling them the flaws that the device has and my overall opinion. I think they appreciated the unsolicited review from me. hehe.

I went to my night class today. I saw a guy in front of me watching a video on his laptop so I commented on the video. We exchanged a couple of words about the video but that was it.

I will join another club at my local college. It's an engineering club and thus I should fit right in since I'm an engineer.

2. Move out of my parents' home and be an independent man.

I'm going to move out when I find a job. I didn't look for one today though. If I do find a job, I'm hoping to land one that pays about 50-55k per year.

3. Make good money so that I can have a comfortable lifestyle.

I went to my night class to learn more about computer networking and cisco hardware. Knowing how to do computer network will help me with my computer business that I've been developing. I can also put it on my resume too and it will help me get a job.

I worked a little bit on the technical side of my computer business. I have been research and developing a computer network for small business for about 2 months now. I hope to sell my design to small businesses. Currently I'm trying to write a script that reports the health of the file server to the user. So far I think my project is 70% completed.

Daveee · 10-29-2009, 11:27 PM

What did I do today that will help me achieve the goals below?
10/29/09

1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship.

I went out to the stores to do exposures. I went to sport chalet, Barnes and noble and Walmart.Although I spent about 3 hours at the stores, I got only 1 exposure @ Walmart. I saw a guy looking at the wii exercise games and I asked him if that really helps you lose weight. We exchanged a couple of words and that's basically it.

I wish I did more exposure today. The problem that I'm having is at the time of the exposure, I get this feeling of just not caring. I just lose all motivation when I'm in public trying to do exposures. For example, I saw some guys checking out snowboards at sport challet. I could of just approach them and ask them where they snowboard, but I didn't because I just didn't care. It's a really wierd feeling. Anyway, I think the feeling of not caring is just a mask for the feeling of fear. IMO, I'm just scared and anxious. I really need to find a way to overcome this feeling so that I can do more exposures.

Today wasn't a good exposure day but I've learned to be patient with myself. Getting over fears is an endurance game and I need persist. Tomorrow is a new day and I will once again try to chip away my fear.

2. Move out of my parents' home and be an independent man.

I used monster and careerbuilder to look for a job. I didn't care whether or not the job is near me because I want to move out. Not looking for a job that's near me is really good because now I have more options. I want to stay in socal though. So far, no calls yet (big surprise).

3. Make good money so that I can have a comfortable lifestyle.

I worked on my small business network product . I'm currently developing a file server using Ubuntu and I ran into hardware problems. I had random freezes and culprit was the shuttle barebone PC. I'm going to invest in a new PC from dell and hope that the file server will be stable.

Once my small business network is completed, I hope to sell it to small businesses. This I hope will contribute to my goal above.

My plans for tomorrow:
1. Go to the new engineering club at my school to meet and talk to people
2. Go to my MMA club to talk to people. (I have the coughs so I can't participate)
3. Work on my small business network product.

Daveee · 10-31-2009, 01:36 AM

What did I do today that will help me achieve the goals below?
10/30/09

1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship.
More exposure stories...
In the morning I had to take my car to the shop. At the shop, I saw a guy working on a car and I asked him some questions regarding the car that he was working on. He just answered my questions and there weren't really a conversation.

After getting my car fix, I attended a new engineering club at my local college. I went there and there was only 1 person there which was the teacher. We talked a bit and discussed engineering stuff. It's nice to know somebody that have similar interests.

Daveee · 11-01-2009, 12:20 AM

What did I do today that will help me achieve the goals below?
10/31/09

1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship.

I didn't do any exposure today because I was not motivated. Some things happened to me yesterday and it dampened my motivation. Once in a while I get a day like today where I'm not motivated and just want to sleep in. I learned to accept days like this and not fight it too much. I need to just give myself time to recover and focus on my goals.

I spent about 1 hour on meetup.com trying to find new meetups. I joined a snowboarding and an entrepreneur meetup. I'm trying to go to as many meetups as possible as part of my exposure plan.

Tomorrow is another day and I need to stay focus and work on my goals.

2. Move out of my parents' home and be an independent man.

I spent about 1 hour online looking and applying for jobs. No calls yet.

3. Make good money so that I can have a comfortable lifestyle.

I spent about 3 hours working on my small business computer network. For those who cares

, I'm currently writing a program that reports the health of the server.

I'm thinking of specializing the field of robotic and automation.

pixies · 11-01-2009, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyberboy82

I don’t really believe in desensitization. For example I would walk into a bank 10 times in short intervals and not get nervous any more after that 10th time, but after taking a brake and not walking into a bank for lets say 10 days I would start getting nervous again. I don’t think its sustainable there is something broken in the brain…jmho

It can take time and you have to feel the progress really. I didn't even know desensitization existed until I went on a trip with my parents. I was forced to go along with whatever they wanted to do so we would go out eating a lot for lunch and dinner and we would wander around shopping and going to tourist places and swimming and stuff. I was constantly outside and constantly surrounded by people and I would talk to people every day, if only to order food from a waiter or to buy something from a shop or something. But after about 9 days, we were sat outside a restaurant one night eating, and a gorgeous girl walked past and smiled at me. I smiled back and then thought.... "what the hell just happened". Usually when a girl even looks at me, my neck tenses up and have to immediately look away or freak out. So after just 9 days of "doing stuff" I was able to chat to people and smile at girls. I really felt much better, and then I flew home by myself and I chatted to people on the plane too.

Unfortunately I did nothing since so it all went bad again, but if I had kept it up... I think I could have kept going and going and eventually beaten it. I am absolutely convinced of it.

Daveee · 11-01-2009, 11:56 PM

What did I do today that will help me achieve the goals below?
11/1/09

1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship.

I went to walmart to get new tires for my car and I did some exposures. The first one that I did was joking around with the cashier. While waiting for my car, I bought a can drink and I jokingly asked the cashier if I'm going to get tackled by the security guard if they see me walking around drinking the can (the joke is security might not know that I already paid for the drink).I walked around walmart and saw a guy just buying a whole bunch of cheap halloween skulls and skeleton. I asked him why he's buying so many skulls and skeletons and he said that he's a science teacher and he use them for educational purpose.
I walked to the electronic section I asked the guy there why the xbox 360 demo console is not working. I got no response.While i was walking around at walmart, I find it hard to iniate conversation with people because a lot of time I just don't have anything to say to them. If I see somebody dressed as a clown then I probably wouldn't have a problem talking to him/her.Today I signed up for two more meetup groups on meetup.com. There's an upcoming business meetup that I might attend.2. Move out of my parents' home and be an independent man.

I didn't have time to look for jobs online today.

3. Make good money so that I can have a comfortable lifestyle.

I did some reviews of the computer/electronic engineering materials that I learned in college. In order to make good money, I have to be good at what I do. I have to keep my knowledge fresh for interviews. I wish I have my current mindset when I was in college because I would of done a lot better. My plan is to learn and apply my knowledge to real life situations so that the knowledge sticks.I probably I will seek out and join more engineering clubs. They good for networking, learnning and making friends.

10-05-2009, 04:39 PM	#24 (permalink)
No-Sturm-und-Drang Status: making awesome awesomer Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Oregon Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 235	I think even social butterflies have a hard time with rejection from the opposite sex. But I think its awesome that you are ready to help yourself and you are setting goals because too many people get comfortable in their failures and dont help themselves. I wish you the best of luck. __________________ Dying people lie too. Wish they'd worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don't save it for a sound bite.

10-14-2009, 01:00 AM	#30 (permalink)
zomgz Status: Wherever The Winds Fly Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Washington Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 600	I like reading them, idk when you started but i just read them all and i love how you write =D it's very personal and i feel like i can really follow along. <- i'm a terrible writer lmao xD you really inspire me though, glad that it's working for you and that you are beating it!! gogogogogogogo!! cheerrss!! I'm planning to go to a meetup group party on halloween, it should be fun!! =] I can't wait, i'm nervous and excited at the same time! =D I set a goal, I'm gonna try it and see if it works! I'm going to: Count to 3, take a deep breath and say Hi to the person nearest to me C: it's not much but it's a conversation starter yeh?? =D better than never saying anything!! =] __________________ Chained to the bottom of the ocean floor, it's like running underwater. Feel free to add me to: Myspace \| Facebook \| Mindviz

10-03-2009, 10:08 AM	#21 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	Update: I joined an MMA club at my local college and have been going there every Friday for the last 4 weeks. I have a fear of conflict with people so I joined the mma club to gain confidence at defending myself. I really like the club and it has given me confidence in self defense. MMA stands for mixed martial art. After attending the club, I stopped by an electronic store and did some exposure. I initiated conversation with 2 people at the store by asking questions and commenting. I also joked around with the cashier girl. I'm starting to feel comfortable with the exposure so I think I need to go out of my comfort zone and move down the exposure list. Before I was really excited that I could initiate a conversation with people in public but now it's like "eh, it was nothing special"

10-05-2009, 02:53 AM	#22 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	I did more exposures today. I feel kinda redundant posting these updates because the exposures are pretty much the same. I take back what I said about me being comfortable with the exposure. To a certain degree I am but not 100%. I hope that these exposures will help me. Currently I don't see or feel any different in anxiety level because the time interval is too short. I only see a different in anxiety level if I compare it to a year ago. I think the progress i'm currently making is too small to see. If I do these exposures for about 6 more months and let the daily progress accumulates, then I will be able to clearly see it. I should go to sleep now because tomorrow I will get another chance to face my fear and improve myself.

10-11-2009, 08:22 AM	#25 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	Update: I just realized that I'm not spending my time efficiently on exposure. I can spend 3 hours at a store or other public places and get only 1-3 exposures (initiate convo with somebody I don't know). The reason why I spend so much time is because I can only initiate conversation with people who have a "conversation starter." For example if somebody is wearing an interesting t-shirt, then I can ask him about it. Otherwise it's very hard for me to initiate a conversation. I have this belief that going up to somebody and starting a conversation when there's no reason to makes me look wierd. Because of the current roadblock above, I'm revising my exposure strategy. Since it's hard for me to talk to people in public, I'm going to take my exposure a step backward. Instead of doing exposure in public, I'm going to use meetup.com and attend meetups and talk to strangers there instead. It's easier for me to engage people when in a group. Eventually I would want to be able to talk to any strangers in public at anytime. Currently I'm just not there yet. I will still try to talk to strangers in public but it will not be my dialy goal. If I see an oppotunity to do exposure then I will but I won't make it my daily routine. I went to a bar last night I felt very relaxed compared to the last time I was there which was about 7-8 months ago. No I didn't strike up a conversation with anybody but I'm still proud of myself. Feeling relaxed and being myself is the first step. Doing expsoures take up a lot of time and energy. I think an advice that I would give to people doing exposure is to pace yourself! Be patient because getting over SA is an endurance game! Don't do a jack rabbit start and burn up all your energy. Start slow and pace yourself because it's going to be a long road ahead.

10-11-2009, 08:25 AM	#26 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	I found out that my college class will end early. I'm disappointed because it is the perfect place for me to do exposure. It's not too scary or too easy.

10-11-2009, 01:39 PM	#27 (permalink)
TheForgotten Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Belgium Gender: Male Age: 17 Posts: 9	Hey man, you can try and make a free blog at wordpress.com or blogspot.com, it what's it for It also might be a bit easier to follow other blogs from people with SA!

10-14-2009, 12:15 AM	#28 (permalink)
david90 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 205	I used meetup.com and I went to a meet up. It was a group of 6 including me and we went to eat. The group has both guys and girls. My goals for this meet up was: 1. Be myself 2. Engage people in conversation. I did engage people in conversation and for most part I was myself. If I found something that wasn't not funny, I didn't laugh even though the group laughed. Basically my mentally was if people like me, they will like me. If they don't then I will move on. I don't have to go along with the group. I was pretty comfortable at the meet up. It's not a priority but I still go out to stores daily to do exposures. In certain situation, I can chat people up but I still can't in most situations. I want to be able to chat anybody up at anytime and I feel that I using meetup.com is an intermediary exposure step before I can achieve my goal.

10-14-2009, 03:40 PM	#31 (permalink)
Bobbyjoe1390 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 1	Loving this thread! Very inspirational, and hopefully leads me to getting me off my butt and doing something like this soon =]

10-21-2009, 08:59 PM	#33 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	Sunday: I went bowling with one of my friend. There were group people in the adjacent lanes and I briefly talked to both. I just commented on their games and asked them questions. Also at the bowling alley I think there is a girl that's interested in me. I'm nervous about pursuing but i will just let it play out and see what will happen. She bowls there often. She acknowledges me every time we see each other. That doesn't happen a lot to me. I think the next time I see her, I'm going to approach her and do something that genuinely represent me. I'm not sure what I'm going to do but that's the point. I don't want to plan it out. Monday: sick Tuesday: sick. Wednesday: I went to my night class and I took the final. I sat next to a guy and I just asked him a couple of questions regarding the class. When it was time to take the final , the guy that I sat next to took out his ipod and prepared it so that he could listen to music while taking the final. I jokingly asked him if he recorded some notes in his ipod. we had a small laugh.

10-28-2009, 02:40 PM	#34 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	I'm changing up this blog. Instead of just writing about SA, I'm going to writing about my goals in life. I've listed the goals that I want to achieve in life in the first post of this thread. Everyday I will write about how I'm actively working towards those goal. Here are my goals 1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship. 2. Move out of my parents' home and be an independent man 3. Make good money so that I can have a comfortable lifestyle.

10-28-2009, 02:45 PM	#35 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	What did I do today that will help me achieve the goals below? 10/28/09 1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship. I went to a local electronics store again to do exposure. I saw two guys buying a piece of computer hardware that I had experience with before. I just started telling them the flaws that the device has and my overall opinion. I think they appreciated the unsolicited review from me. hehe. I went to my night class today. I saw a guy in front of me watching a video on his laptop so I commented on the video. We exchanged a couple of words about the video but that was it. I will join another club at my local college. It's an engineering club and thus I should fit right in since I'm an engineer. 2. Move out of my parents' home and be an independent man. I'm going to move out when I find a job. I didn't look for one today though. If I do find a job, I'm hoping to land one that pays about 50-55k per year. 3. Make good money so that I can have a comfortable lifestyle. I went to my night class to learn more about computer networking and cisco hardware. Knowing how to do computer network will help me with my computer business that I've been developing. I can also put it on my resume too and it will help me get a job. I worked a little bit on the technical side of my computer business. I have been research and developing a computer network for small business for about 2 months now. I hope to sell my design to small businesses. Currently I'm trying to write a script that reports the health of the file server to the user. So far I think my project is 70% completed.

10-29-2009, 11:27 PM	#36 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	What did I do today that will help me achieve the goals below? 10/29/09 1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship. I went out to the stores to do exposures. I went to sport chalet, Barnes and noble and Walmart.Although I spent about 3 hours at the stores, I got only 1 exposure @ Walmart. I saw a guy looking at the wii exercise games and I asked him if that really helps you lose weight. We exchanged a couple of words and that's basically it. I wish I did more exposure today. The problem that I'm having is at the time of the exposure, I get this feeling of just not caring. I just lose all motivation when I'm in public trying to do exposures. For example, I saw some guys checking out snowboards at sport challet. I could of just approach them and ask them where they snowboard, but I didn't because I just didn't care. It's a really wierd feeling. Anyway, I think the feeling of not caring is just a mask for the feeling of fear. IMO, I'm just scared and anxious. I really need to find a way to overcome this feeling so that I can do more exposures. Today wasn't a good exposure day but I've learned to be patient with myself. Getting over fears is an endurance game and I need persist. Tomorrow is a new day and I will once again try to chip away my fear. 2. Move out of my parents' home and be an independent man. I used monster and careerbuilder to look for a job. I didn't care whether or not the job is near me because I want to move out. Not looking for a job that's near me is really good because now I have more options. I want to stay in socal though. So far, no calls yet (big surprise). 3. Make good money so that I can have a comfortable lifestyle. I worked on my small business network product . I'm currently developing a file server using Ubuntu and I ran into hardware problems. I had random freezes and culprit was the shuttle barebone PC. I'm going to invest in a new PC from dell and hope that the file server will be stable. Once my small business network is completed, I hope to sell it to small businesses. This I hope will contribute to my goal above. My plans for tomorrow: 1. Go to the new engineering club at my school to meet and talk to people 2. Go to my MMA club to talk to people. (I have the coughs so I can't participate) 3. Work on my small business network product.

10-31-2009, 01:36 AM	#37 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	What did I do today that will help me achieve the goals below? 10/30/09 1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship. More exposure stories... In the morning I had to take my car to the shop. At the shop, I saw a guy working on a car and I asked him some questions regarding the car that he was working on. He just answered my questions and there weren't really a conversation. After getting my car fix, I attended a new engineering club at my local college. I went there and there was only 1 person there which was the teacher. We talked a bit and discussed engineering stuff. It's nice to know somebody that have similar interests.

11-01-2009, 12:20 AM	#38 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	What did I do today that will help me achieve the goals below? 10/31/09 1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship. I didn't do any exposure today because I was not motivated. Some things happened to me yesterday and it dampened my motivation. Once in a while I get a day like today where I'm not motivated and just want to sleep in. I learned to accept days like this and not fight it too much. I need to just give myself time to recover and focus on my goals. I spent about 1 hour on meetup.com trying to find new meetups. I joined a snowboarding and an entrepreneur meetup. I'm trying to go to as many meetups as possible as part of my exposure plan. Tomorrow is another day and I need to stay focus and work on my goals. 2. Move out of my parents' home and be an independent man. I spent about 1 hour online looking and applying for jobs. No calls yet. 3. Make good money so that I can have a comfortable lifestyle. I spent about 3 hours working on my small business computer network. For those who cares , I'm currently writing a program that reports the health of the server. I'm thinking of specializing the field of robotic and automation.

11-01-2009, 11:56 PM	#40 (permalink)
Daveee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 52	What did I do today that will help me achieve the goals below? 11/1/09 1. Get over my fear of women so that I can get a girlfriend and be in an intimate relationship. I went to walmart to get new tires for my car and I did some exposures. The first one that I did was joking around with the cashier. While waiting for my car, I bought a can drink and I jokingly asked the cashier if I'm going to get tackled by the security guard if they see me walking around drinking the can (the joke is security might not know that I already paid for the drink).I walked around walmart and saw a guy just buying a whole bunch of cheap halloween skulls and skeleton. I asked him why he's buying so many skulls and skeletons and he said that he's a science teacher and he use them for educational purpose. I walked to the electronic section I asked the guy there why the xbox 360 demo console is not working. I got no response.While i was walking around at walmart, I find it hard to iniate conversation with people because a lot of time I just don't have anything to say to them. If I see somebody dressed as a clown then I probably wouldn't have a problem talking to him/her.Today I signed up for two more meetup groups on meetup.com. There's an upcoming business meetup that I might attend.2. Move out of my parents' home and be an independent man. I didn't have time to look for jobs online today. 3. Make good money so that I can have a comfortable lifestyle. I did some reviews of the computer/electronic engineering materials that I learned in college. In order to make good money, I have to be good at what I do. I have to keep my knowledge fresh for interviews. I wish I have my current mindset when I was in college because I would of done a lot better. My plan is to learn and apply my knowledge to real life situations so that the knowledge sticks.I probably I will seek out and join more engineering clubs. They good for networking, learnning and making friends.