Social Anxiety Support

dawnoldduckk · 11-05-2009, 10:24 AM

Does anyone else feel like alcohol makes them more normal then when there sober? When i drink i feel like my personality comes back,my anxiety is completly cured. Im fun,outgoing,i have alot to say and im not over thinking it. Some mornings i just want to wakeup and take maybe 4 shots and ill be all set. The problem with this is when i meet someone drunk and hangout with them sober its a little weird.. they probably think i have multiple personality's or something. Its also really scary for me because my mom has ALOT of mental problems and she was an alcoholic most of her life..

its_a_rick · 11-05-2009, 10:33 AM

I wouldn't know really, I don't drink.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawnoldduckk

because my mom has ALOT of mental problems and she was an alcoholic most of her life..

And that is indeed why, I think that if I like the effects of the alcohol too much I'd end up as an alcoholic.
I say stay away from alcohol unless you know you can control yourself.

jinxu · 11-05-2009, 10:42 AM

I've tried alcohol as a treatment at one point. It works for a little while. But then you need more and more just to get the same impact. I had to stop because it was messing with my life and school work.

GnR · 11-05-2009, 10:42 AM

You need to stay away from alcohol if you have alcoholism is in your family. I have no genetic predesposition to alcoholism, but because of my SA I used it compulsively from age 15. Now that I'm trying to clean up my act, I'm facing a whole host of problems. Just a warning for ya.

Colorblind · 11-05-2009, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawnoldduckk

Does anyone else feel like alcohol makes them more normal then when there sober? When i drink i feel like my personality comes back,my anxiety is completly cured. Im fun,outgoing,i have alot to say and im not over thinking it. Some mornings i just want to wakeup and take maybe 4 shots and ill be all set. The problem with this is when i meet someone drunk and hangout with them sober its a little weird.. they probably think i have multiple personality's or something. Its also really scary for me because my mom has ALOT of mental problems and she was an alcoholic most of her life..

I feel the same, but I can control myself, in fact I rarely ever go to parties anymore. The last time I was out drinking was at a get-to-know-eachother party for my school (when school started), and I absolutely HATE hangovers so I thought "well, I'll go, but I wont be drinking" and of course I ended up getting drunk. I just can't socialize when I'm sober, especially not at parties where there's a bunch of people, and people I don't know. When I'm drunk I can easily go and talk to people I don't know. But even then I slightly feel my SA. and then I feel all super awkward when I meet them sober, and I can't' talk. I hate it.

I wouldn't advice you to drink when you have alcoholism in your family. Alcohol isn't the cure for anything anyway, it only makes you more nervous. At least that's what it does to me. I tried to use it as a cure a couple of years ago, didn't work.

Matteh · 11-05-2009, 10:52 AM

I used ecstasy as a cure. Worked for me and it actually stayed with me even after the usage.

94hours · 11-05-2009, 10:59 AM

I hit the bottle hard for the last few years. It is the miracle cure for me, I get back to the way I acted before all my SA symptoms started up, I'm outgoing, carefree, meeting new people etc. Hell, I used to have a couple drinks before class/group meetings to take the edge off. It worked, but it's really hurting my health so I've weened myself off, I drink maybe once or twice a week now, and not even close the amounts I used to. I wish they just made a drug that could give you all the benefits of alcohol without the health problems and the hangovers haha.

dawnoldduckk · 11-05-2009, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 94hours

I wish they just made a drug that could give you all the benefits of alcohol without the health problems and the hangovers haha.

exactly how i feeel.. when im drunk i can connect with people be all lovey dovey and such with my close friends but when im sober its just not the same im nervous for no reason.. its so ****tty..

cellophanegirl · 11-05-2009, 11:33 AM

Idk, alcohol def helps with anxiety, and my friends have even mentioned how much more talkative I become when I drink. But alcohol also makes me sound stupider than usual, and I can't think as clearly when I drink, so idk if I'd want to use it as a cure for SA, even if it didn't come with hangovers and liver disease.

Bright Eyes · 11-05-2009, 11:48 AM

I also have used alcohol (from about the age of 13) to self medicate.

I lose the over thinking and horrible self conscience issues.
Well I did. Now I just get depressed. Like really badly depressed, and it'll last for days.
The hangovers usually last for days as well.

I've pretty much stopped going out now so I don't need to drink anymore.
Which is good.
I could never self regulate and was actually diagnosed as alcohol dependant at 21.

Haydsmom2007 · 11-05-2009, 01:08 PM

Yeah it does "cure" my SA. Sometimes I really really really want to go get some weed and smoke it in the mornings before I go out so that I can be a little normal... but then I'm like "no that would be ridiculous." I don't want to be one of THOSE people. So I don't smoke weed...... the only times I will is like, at night. For fun. I wont smoke it as a cop-out. Alcohol, I drink sometimes. Like wine and beer. But I rarely get drunk. I've been drunk twice in the last 6 months. It sure was fun being able to socialize... I even didn't think twice about flipping this guy off and saying "f*ck you!" because he said I looked like a hooker. (I didn't, I was wearing a pink t shirt and jeans...) I hope that I don't start going out all the time when I turn 21 and I don't go buy alcohol and drink all the time. I don't want to become dependant on it.

Emerald3 · 11-05-2009, 02:04 PM

Yes, and it made me embarass myself so much over the last few years because I drank too much.

dawnoldduckk · 11-05-2009, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haydsmom2007

Yeah it does "cure" my SA. Sometimes I really really really want to go get some weed and smoke it in the mornings before I go out so that I can be a little normal....

i used to smoke ALOT ALOT of weed good choice on not doing it that much in the long run its makes your anxiety worse or maybe thats just me.. i cant only smoke alone now.. i don't feel comfortable around anyone but my mom but shes also extremely crazy and we don't talk because she frustrates me but when i smoke with people i shake and think WAY to deep and kinda make a fool out of myself and get really quiet..

markko · 11-05-2009, 03:03 PM

Hi,

Alcoholism has been said to run in families. You could be lucky enough to realise early that this is a very real danger.

All I can say is... Don't go there! It doesn't end well...

Good luck,

Markko

ch3cooh · 11-05-2009, 03:15 PM

My friends often comment how they like drinking with me because I'm such a happy drunk. When I drink I just want to talk, joke and make friends with everyone. I know that's no way to cope so I have to work to keep the instinct to keep drinking in check. Then when I wake up in the morning I run through the entire night in my head and realize every "dumb" thing did and start thinking that no one from that night will ever speak to me again. It's a miserable state of mind

nightrain · 11-05-2009, 03:20 PM

I don't drink. I really don't want to become an alcoholic

Delicate · 11-05-2009, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haydsmom2007

Yeah it does "cure" my SA. Sometimes I really really really want to go get some weed and smoke it in the mornings before I go out so that I can be a little normal... but then I'm like "no that would be ridiculous." I don't want to be one of THOSE people.

I think I'm one of those people. I don't smoke, I used to drink at about 7am before I went to work I sometimes drank on my breaks. That was with additional stress on top of sa though.

To the first post I don't think you should feel embarassed about acting differently when you've drank than when you're sober because whoever you're with is the same and not thinking that way. I definately wouldn't say it's a cure for you it's the cause of a whole other problem. Are you on any meds? it might help your anxiety... don't know much on the subject I'm just putting that out there.

pixies · 11-05-2009, 04:01 PM

Alcohol was my miracle cure during my early 20's.

I was lucky because most social situations involved alcohol, so I was all set! What I would do is have a shot of whiskey or something before I left the house. Then I would get a bus or taxi to wherever I was going for the night, and I would just start drinking heavily. I am only small and skinny so I could get drunk really fast and quite cheaply.

It worked great because my anxiety would go and I could chat to anyone easily. The only issue was that sometimes I'd get so drunk that I ended up making a bit of a fool of myself. I never minded that too much though, because it was outweighed by me being able to go out and have a good time.

However from my late 20's and onwards, alcohol has stopped working. I rarely drink so it's not to do with my body getting used to it or anything like that. I maybe only drink once every few months... so very rarely, but I would go out and get drunk, and I would be horrified because my anxiety would still be there. And then it got WORSE! Because I ended up being socially anxious, and yet now I was drunk too! So I was slurring my speech and I was staggering about and my thoughts were all a bit jumbled, and yet my brain was freaking out trying to act as smooth as I could. It is some of the worst social anxiety I've ever felt...

Imagine getting a magic cloak that makes you completely invisible, but you have to be completely naked for the cloak to work. So you strip down naked and then you put on the magic cloak, and you go out to night clubs and have a great time watching people but they can't see you. Then one night, all of a sudden... the cloak stops working, and you find yourself stood in a night club completely naked. It felt like that. I was deep in a social situation, surrounded by people, feeling more socially anxious than ever, and my alcohol cure wasn't working any more.

In addition that, I went out to the movies one time recently with my friend, and I had just had a couple of glasses of wine earlier that day. (It was a lazy sunday). So I wasn't even drunk, just slightly loosened up. I ended up having a full blown panic attack TWICE that evening. Once when we were in the middle of watching the film, and once afterwards.

So now... my once trusty alcohol friend, I'm now very scared of it. :/

polythene · 11-05-2009, 08:20 PM

Back when I was just shy and didn't have SA, a bit of alcohol took the edge off any nervousness I was feeling, and I was free to talk about anything I pleased with absolute confidence - it made me amusing and engaging (or so I thought, ha). I think this is the way most people without pronounced anxiety respond to alcohol, and why everyone has a cocktail in their hands at parties. Most people are able to drink in moderation though, while people with anxiety tend to keep drinking until they no longer feel anxious - which usually ends with them getting p*ss-drunk.

Happened to me. After my anxiety became severe, there was really no amount of alcohol that could make me more sociable. After I got drunk enough (to the point where I'd have hours-long gaps in memory), I think I was able to 'socialize' - though people were almost always put off by how wasted I was and how ridiculously I started behaving. Basically after a while alcohol made me drunk but not much less anxious unless I got obliterated. Now I just try to deal as best as I can with awkward, awkward situations while I'm sober. Continually exposing myself to anxiety-provoking situations desensitizes me and makes me FAR less anxious about them. It also helps that alcohol now makes me very sick, physically, so I don't like to guzzle it like there's no tomorrow.

Bottom line is, alcohol is inauthentic. Using it to make everyday situations easier is a recipe for disaster, especially if alcoholism runs in your blood: you're going to have to need a drink before class, or before taking the subway, or going to the supermarket. It's certainly not abnormal to self-medicate with alcohol, especially if you suffer from SA, but you need to draw a line somewhere.

Alcohol should be a treat - a mug of beer or a cocktail with dinner, a glass of wine to relax after a tough day - NOT a necessity. Don't think I don't understand where you're coming from, though... I think most of us who drink do.

TATA · 11-05-2009, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawnoldduckk

Does anyone else feel like alcohol makes them more normal then when there sober? When i drink i feel like my personality comes back,my anxiety is completly cured. Im fun,outgoing,i have alot to say and im not over thinking it. Some mornings i just want to wakeup and take maybe 4 shots and ill be all set. The problem with this is when i meet someone drunk and hangout with them sober its a little weird.. they probably think i have multiple personality's or something. Its also really scary for me because my mom has ALOT of mental problems and she was an alcoholic most of her life..

alcohol does make me outgoing, fearless, social... but doesn't kill certain anxiety even if i'm very drunk.
Drinking on daily basis wouldn't be a way out, than you'll have to deal with two problems SA and alcoholism.

11-05-2009, 10:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
dawnoldduckk Status: Dawnmarie Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New hampshire Gender: Female Posts: 9	my cure alcohol Does anyone else feel like alcohol makes them more normal then when there sober? When i drink i feel like my personality comes back,my anxiety is completly cured. Im fun,outgoing,i have alot to say and im not over thinking it. Some mornings i just want to wakeup and take maybe 4 shots and ill be all set. The problem with this is when i meet someone drunk and hangout with them sober its a little weird.. they probably think i have multiple personality's or something. Its also really scary for me because my mom has ALOT of mental problems and she was an alcoholic most of her life..

11-05-2009, 10:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
jinxu Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Oklahoma Gender: Male Posts: 22	I've tried alcohol as a treatment at one point. It works for a little while. But then you need more and more just to get the same impact. I had to stop because it was messing with my life and school work.

11-05-2009, 10:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
GnR Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Vancouver Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 79	You need to stay away from alcohol if you have alcoholism is in your family. I have no genetic predesposition to alcoholism, but because of my SA I used it compulsively from age 15. Now that I'm trying to clean up my act, I'm facing a whole host of problems. Just a warning for ya.

11-05-2009, 10:52 AM	#6 (permalink)
Matteh Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 14	I used ecstasy as a cure. Worked for me and it actually stayed with me even after the usage.

11-05-2009, 10:59 AM	#7 (permalink)
94hours Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 49	I hit the bottle hard for the last few years. It is the miracle cure for me, I get back to the way I acted before all my SA symptoms started up, I'm outgoing, carefree, meeting new people etc. Hell, I used to have a couple drinks before class/group meetings to take the edge off. It worked, but it's really hurting my health so I've weened myself off, I drink maybe once or twice a week now, and not even close the amounts I used to. I wish they just made a drug that could give you all the benefits of alcohol without the health problems and the hangovers haha.

11-05-2009, 11:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
cellophanegirl Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Upstate New York, Boston Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 72	Idk, alcohol def helps with anxiety, and my friends have even mentioned how much more talkative I become when I drink. But alcohol also makes me sound stupider than usual, and I can't think as clearly when I drink, so idk if I'd want to use it as a cure for SA, even if it didn't come with hangovers and liver disease.

11-05-2009, 11:48 AM	#10 (permalink)
Bright Eyes Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5	I also have used alcohol (from about the age of 13) to self medicate. I lose the over thinking and horrible self conscience issues. Well I did. Now I just get depressed. Like really badly depressed, and it'll last for days. The hangovers usually last for days as well. I've pretty much stopped going out now so I don't need to drink anymore. Which is good. I could never self regulate and was actually diagnosed as alcohol dependant at 21.

11-05-2009, 01:08 PM	#11 (permalink)
Haydsmom2007 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Kansas City Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 198	Yeah it does "cure" my SA. Sometimes I really really really want to go get some weed and smoke it in the mornings before I go out so that I can be a little normal... but then I'm like "no that would be ridiculous." I don't want to be one of THOSE people. So I don't smoke weed...... the only times I will is like, at night. For fun. I wont smoke it as a cop-out. Alcohol, I drink sometimes. Like wine and beer. But I rarely get drunk. I've been drunk twice in the last 6 months. It sure was fun being able to socialize... I even didn't think twice about flipping this guy off and saying "f*ck you!" because he said I looked like a hooker. (I didn't, I was wearing a pink t shirt and jeans...) I hope that I don't start going out all the time when I turn 21 and I don't go buy alcohol and drink all the time. I don't want to become dependant on it.

11-05-2009, 02:04 PM	#12 (permalink)
Emerald3 Status: Wants to be someone else Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 283	Yes, and it made me embarass myself so much over the last few years because I drank too much.

11-05-2009, 03:03 PM	#14 (permalink)
markko Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 16	Hi, Alcoholism has been said to run in families. You could be lucky enough to realise early that this is a very real danger. All I can say is... Don't go there! It doesn't end well... Good luck, Markko

11-05-2009, 03:15 PM	#15 (permalink)
ch3cooh Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Oklahoma...OK! Gender: Male Posts: 55	My friends often comment how they like drinking with me because I'm such a happy drunk. When I drink I just want to talk, joke and make friends with everyone. I know that's no way to cope so I have to work to keep the instinct to keep drinking in check. Then when I wake up in the morning I run through the entire night in my head and realize every "dumb" thing did and start thinking that no one from that night will ever speak to me again. It's a miserable state of mind

11-05-2009, 03:20 PM	#16 (permalink)
nightrain Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: NC Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 825	I don't drink. I really don't want to become an alcoholic

11-05-2009, 04:01 PM	#18 (permalink)
pixies Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: England, UK Gender: Male Posts: 144	Alcohol was my miracle cure during my early 20's. I was lucky because most social situations involved alcohol, so I was all set! What I would do is have a shot of whiskey or something before I left the house. Then I would get a bus or taxi to wherever I was going for the night, and I would just start drinking heavily. I am only small and skinny so I could get drunk really fast and quite cheaply. It worked great because my anxiety would go and I could chat to anyone easily. The only issue was that sometimes I'd get so drunk that I ended up making a bit of a fool of myself. I never minded that too much though, because it was outweighed by me being able to go out and have a good time. However from my late 20's and onwards, alcohol has stopped working. I rarely drink so it's not to do with my body getting used to it or anything like that. I maybe only drink once every few months... so very rarely, but I would go out and get drunk, and I would be horrified because my anxiety would still be there. And then it got WORSE! Because I ended up being socially anxious, and yet now I was drunk too! So I was slurring my speech and I was staggering about and my thoughts were all a bit jumbled, and yet my brain was freaking out trying to act as smooth as I could. It is some of the worst social anxiety I've ever felt... Imagine getting a magic cloak that makes you completely invisible, but you have to be completely naked for the cloak to work. So you strip down naked and then you put on the magic cloak, and you go out to night clubs and have a great time watching people but they can't see you. Then one night, all of a sudden... the cloak stops working, and you find yourself stood in a night club completely naked. It felt like that. I was deep in a social situation, surrounded by people, feeling more socially anxious than ever, and my alcohol cure wasn't working any more. In addition that, I went out to the movies one time recently with my friend, and I had just had a couple of glasses of wine earlier that day. (It was a lazy sunday). So I wasn't even drunk, just slightly loosened up. I ended up having a full blown panic attack TWICE that evening. Once when we were in the middle of watching the film, and once afterwards. So now... my once trusty alcohol friend, I'm now very scared of it. :/

11-05-2009, 08:20 PM	#19 (permalink)
polythene Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 225	Back when I was just shy and didn't have SA, a bit of alcohol took the edge off any nervousness I was feeling, and I was free to talk about anything I pleased with absolute confidence - it made me amusing and engaging (or so I thought, ha). I think this is the way most people without pronounced anxiety respond to alcohol, and why everyone has a cocktail in their hands at parties. Most people are able to drink in moderation though, while people with anxiety tend to keep drinking until they no longer feel anxious - which usually ends with them getting p*ss-drunk. Happened to me. After my anxiety became severe, there was really no amount of alcohol that could make me more sociable. After I got drunk enough (to the point where I'd have hours-long gaps in memory), I think I was able to 'socialize' - though people were almost always put off by how wasted I was and how ridiculously I started behaving. Basically after a while alcohol made me drunk but not much less anxious unless I got obliterated. Now I just try to deal as best as I can with awkward, awkward situations while I'm sober. Continually exposing myself to anxiety-provoking situations desensitizes me and makes me FAR less anxious about them. It also helps that alcohol now makes me very sick, physically, so I don't like to guzzle it like there's no tomorrow. Bottom line is, alcohol is inauthentic. Using it to make everyday situations easier is a recipe for disaster, especially if alcoholism runs in your blood: you're going to have to need a drink before class, or before taking the subway, or going to the supermarket. It's certainly not abnormal to self-medicate with alcohol, especially if you suffer from SA, but you need to draw a line somewhere. Alcohol should be a treat - a mug of beer or a cocktail with dinner, a glass of wine to relax after a tough day - NOT a necessity. Don't think I don't understand where you're coming from, though... I think most of us who drink do.