My cousin won't talk to me... - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-03-2010, 07:43 PM Thread Starter
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My cousin won't talk to me...

I don't know if it's just my SAD kicking in with negative thoughts but...

What do you guys think of this?

So me and my cousin are really close (at least I still think) and he's pretty much my best friend. Well He moved away a few years ago to be with his gf. So we kept in touch through myspace. So I would talk to him atleast once or twice a week when he wasn't busy working or whatever. He even visits sometimes and we'll go hang out and do stuff. But just a couple of months ago I messaged him and he took a while to respond. (he usually responds to my messages fast) and he was like "hey man I'm sorry I couldn't get back to you faster. I've just been working a lot" and I was like thats fine ok. So this happens a few more times. He usually jokes around with me, but this time his responses have been short and not too "funny". So I'm like ok he's probably just really stressed at work. Then I made a facebook account just to try something new. He told me he had one too, so I was like "ok I'll add you on there then" so I found him on there and requested him. Well, he never accepted it. I even messaged him on myspace letting him know that I requested him, but he never messaged me back. That was the last message I ever sent him. I even asked my sisters bf if there was something wrong? he never answers my messages anymore (he's friends with my cousin too) and he said that he's just really busy with work. But him and my cousin still talk every day. So I thought if he has time to talk to my sisters bf, why can't he talk to me and let me know whats going on? My other sister just recently text him to see if he would answer and he did. He said he's coming to visit again and he invited her to go to some event. So I just recently got a cell phone and I text him "hey this is my new number blah blah blah" and he never text back. Now I know I have long distance and he should have got my text. I even text him another time just to make sure...still no response.

Now I'm wondering if I did something wrong? I can't think of anything bad I said the last time we had a conversation.

I just think it's really weird...what do you guys think?
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-03-2010, 08:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fox Kid View Post
I don't know if it's just my SAD kicking in with negative thoughts but...

What do you guys think of this?

So me and my cousin are really close (at least I still think) and he's pretty much my best friend. Well He moved away a few years ago to be with his gf. So we kept in touch through myspace. So I would talk to him atleast once or twice a week when he wasn't busy working or whatever. He even visits sometimes and we'll go hang out and do stuff. But just a couple of months ago I messaged him and he took a while to respond. (he usually responds to my messages fast) and he was like "hey man I'm sorry I couldn't get back to you faster. I've just been working a lot" and I was like thats fine ok. So this happens a few more times. He usually jokes around with me, but this time his responses have been short and not too "funny". So I'm like ok he's probably just really stressed at work. Then I made a facebook account just to try something new. He told me he had one too, so I was like "ok I'll add you on there then" so I found him on there and requested him. Well, he never accepted it. I even messaged him on myspace letting him know that I requested him, but he never messaged me back. That was the last message I ever sent him. I even asked my sisters bf if there was something wrong? he never answers my messages anymore (he's friends with my cousin too) and he said that he's just really busy with work. But him and my cousin still talk every day. So I thought if he has time to talk to my sisters bf, why can't he talk to me and let me know whats going on? My other sister just recently text him to see if he would answer and he did. He said he's coming to visit again and he invited her to go to some event. So I just recently got a cell phone and I text him "hey this is my new number blah blah blah" and he never text back. Now I know I have long distance and he should have got my text. I even text him another time just to make sure...still no response.

Now I'm wondering if I did something wrong? I can't think of anything bad I said the last time we had a conversation.

I just think it's really weird...what do you guys think?
It maybe nothing, sounds like he is ignoring you though. I would just give it some time dont text or email him anymore. Dont think of it as there's something wrong with you it sounds like there's something wrong with him.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-04-2013, 04:15 PM
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Fox Kid, please don't think that you did anything wrong. I had a similar situation with my cousin. He used to be very nice and friendly, and he would e-mail me from time to time. After a while, he stopped answering my e-mails. Initially, he told me that he was just really busy with school. Then one day, he responded to an e-mail by telling me that his life and his family were none of my business. That was my first hint that there was something wrong with him, not me. Later I learned that he is bipolar. Needless to say, I have not been in contact with my cousin since then. It's sad, but I am much happier now than I was before when I kept thinking I was doing something wrong. It's not you, Fox Kid. It's your cousin.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-04-2013, 04:21 PM
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Who knows why he isn't responding to you. But if he's causing you this much anxiety (or stress, I guess would be the better word), then maybe he isn't worth your time. I'm sorry this is happening to you
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-04-2013, 04:32 PM
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Put yourself in his shoes. Are you being clingy?

-If so, learn to space out a relationship. Don't spend all your time trying to be with just one person (cause he ain't yer spouse!).

-If not, maybe he is busy or has a problem like 'cousinproblems' said. Although having a creepily suspicious name, 'cousinproblems' is right.

If you want you can find out his problem or if he is busy. That's kinda nosy in my opinion. Better to text him, "do you need some space?"

-If he says "yes", you can stop wasting effort.
-If he ignores you, you can assume that means "yes".
-If he says "no", you can come across as a considerate person who cares about others.
Either way you win.
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-03-2016, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fox Kid View Post
I don't know if it's just my SAD kicking in with negative thoughts but...

What do you guys think of this?

So me and my cousin are really close (at least I still think) and he's pretty much my best friend. Well He moved away a few years ago to be with his gf. So we kept in touch through myspace. So I would talk to him atleast once or twice a week when he wasn't busy working or whatever. He even visits sometimes and we'll go hang out and do stuff. But just a couple of months ago I messaged him and he took a while to respond. (he usually responds to my messages fast) and he was like "hey man I'm sorry I couldn't get back to you faster. I've just been working a lot" and I was like thats fine ok. So this happens a few more times. He usually jokes around with me, but this time his responses have been short and not too "funny". So I'm like ok he's probably just really stressed at work. Then I made a facebook account just to try something new. He told me he had one too, so I was like "ok I'll add you on there then" so I found him on there and requested him. Well, he never accepted it. I even messaged him on myspace letting him know that I requested him, but he never messaged me back. That was the last message I ever sent him. I even asked my sisters bf if there was something wrong? he never answers my messages anymore (he's friends with my cousin too) and he said that he's just really busy with work. But him and my cousin still talk every day. So I thought if he has time to talk to my sisters bf, why can't he talk to me and let me know whats going on? My other sister just recently text him to see if he would answer and he did. He said he's coming to visit again and he invited her to go to some event. So I just recently got a cell phone and I text him "hey this is my new number blah blah blah" and he never text back. Now I know I have long distance and he should have got my text. I even text him another time just to make sure...still no response.

Now I'm wondering if I did something wrong? I can't think of anything bad I said the last time we had a conversation.

I just think it's really weird...what do you guys think?
I hate it when other people don't accept friend requests as well when I had my social media before, so I understand. I wish he just accept your friend request or just message you even if it is just a short message. I mean he should have just a few minutes to respond to you... I don't like it when I don't get responded by other people especially when my message has a lot of effort to it, so you're not alone.

Me and my cousin (I'm a guy and my cousin's a girl, but not the b!tchy type) used to talk and call a lot during our spare time and we were really close friends since 2014 when she attended my brother's birthday 2 years ago. She really understands me as a person, even if I'm an introvert who is somewhat anti-social for some reasons because of the people I don't like in my country who is annoying, b!tchy, etc. I was shocked when I deleted all of my social media accounts because of everything that is happening here that I don't like, she didn't text anymore and when I called her, she just hanged up or didn't answered my call... I didn't say anything bad on my last call to her before my semester ends... I have to delete my social media because I hate seeing other people posting lame jokes, memes, gossips, b!tchiness, and so on, when I don't have time, I have a lot of time to do the things in real life since most of the people there don't keep in touch in me or likes my posts... Sad, but true! How I just wished other people who are different than us understand us... Not everyone likes social media and I wished the people here just stop the gossiping, b!tching, doing memes, etc. Even if my cousin is very busy on her business or work, she must spend just a few minutes to answer my call or text messages... because I always reply when I text my friends... :/

I will NEVER go back on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook anymore...

Everything is going backwards nowadays... I wish I could do something about it...
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-03-2016, 09:51 PM
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My cousin and I used to be close but when we became young adults he, like my other cousins, ignores me. It's sad because we used to play a lot when we were kids. You are not the only one with this problem.

I hate talkative people.
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