Social Anxiety Support

Icelanddude · 11-04-2009, 12:39 PM

Well, my social life sucks (I'm 16) and I don't really know what's causing it. I used to be a loner, and very introverted, but I haven't been for a while now, and somehow I can't seem to make friends. I'm trying to be outgoing and fun but it seems that no one is interested in having anything more than chit chat with me. p.s. I'm not into all the parties and drinking and stuff like that so that could be a factor.

I'm not ugly or boring(or at least i try not to be but it's hard) I get some attention from girls. I don't look forward to weekends, because I have very little "friends" to fill it with, and I get very sad from watching other people having fun with friends.

Does anyone know what this is like or does anyone know what seems to be wrong with me?

shyvr6 · 11-04-2009, 12:41 PM

I know what it's like to not have friends, but not really being outgoing and still not being able to make friends. Can't really tell you what's wrong with you since I can't observe how you interact with people.

its_a_rick · 11-04-2009, 01:47 PM

Meh, that's why I'm glad I don't feel the need to be around people a lot, makes the being alone easier.
As for the making friends, it's easier with people you know you'll have something in common with, like a hobby or whatever.
And yeah, not really being into partying/drinking as that's what most people seem to do, where do the people who don't party hang out? I'm the same really, no drinking or partying or anything hehe.

Catching Fire · 11-04-2009, 03:31 PM

Yeah not partying could be part of it. Although only the cool kids really partied every weekend in my high school. I would suggest joining a club at your school it gives you the ability to meet and talk to people. It also allows you to have set times you'll see them again and do things with them. You can build relatioships from it and form some friendships.

shyvr6 · 11-04-2009, 05:14 PM

I had a group of great friends in high school and we never went to parties, so I don't think he needs to worry about that.

Grixxly · 11-04-2009, 06:16 PM

You're almost just like me. I'm also 16 and looking for answers as well. I'm able to keep myself occupied after school playing sports with people at the park but on weekends I'm normally cooped up in the house or doing shopping with my mom. Not very fun stuff. I would kill to have an exciting weekend. If you find anything that works let me know =)

Youandwe · 11-04-2009, 06:58 PM

I totally know what you're going through. My SA came when I was 12 and now I'm 21. But I'm so glad you realize what you have so that you will be able to get help at such a young age!

I know it is hard right now. Do you have anyone you can talk to about this that might be able to help? Maybe your parents or a guidance counselor? It might sound corny, but it's a life saver to get help from someoe who is older and knows how to help you. At 12,13,14,15,16... I thought I knew everything and tried to fix my SA and other issues by myself, not a good idea!

And it's very good that you don't party and drink and all that stuff. Trust me, all that stuff seems aweome right now but in the long run, it's meaningless and a totally waste of time, leading only to regret. Do you not party and stuff because you're a Christian?

Zulaz · 11-04-2009, 07:12 PM

I dont have many friends either, but the thing is, i try to avoid people, becuase i hate them down here in Southern California? lol....yeah..very bad...oh well..

the only thing you really need to do is sit it out like i am right now until college. im 17, senior year, and really, most of the people you will meet, you will never/rarely ever talk to them EVER again when your in college. Unless you make friends who are "techy" people. Stay on the computer, play some MMO's, or if you and your friends have a xbox360/PS3. THOSE friends will last a VERY long time.

Sadly, i have more online friends that actually listen to what you have to say, instead of my reality douche bags.

All you gatta do, is try and find someone who has something in common with you. if your a gamer person, try and make friends who play games. Find something to do when your indoors.

Grixxly · 11-04-2009, 07:35 PM

I have to disagree with Zulaz. Such horrible advice. Sitting around doing nothing totally defeats the purpose of wanting to overcome SA. Don't stay inside, get out doors and communicate. You won't get anywhere with SA by staying inside. Even if you have nothing to do go outside for a walk and get practice making eye contact with people as you are walking by them or something. It's something I've done and think it has helped me.

I hate flamming esspecially with SA people but Zulaz, this is Social Anxiety Support don't encourge it.

Zulaz · 11-04-2009, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grixxly

I have to disagree with Zulaz. Such horrible advice. Sitting around doing nothing totally defeats the purpose of wanting to overcome SA. Don't stay inside, get out doors and communicate. You won't get anywhere with SA by staying inside. Even if you have nothing to do go outside for a walk and get practice making eye contact with people as you are walking by them or something. It's something I've done and think it has helped me.

I hate flamming esspecially with SA people but Zulaz, this is Social Anxiety Support don't encourge it.

was just giving him advice for indoor things, if he hated going outdoors...lol..

Grixxly · 11-04-2009, 07:51 PM

Well indoor things are good too

11-04-2009, 12:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
Icelanddude Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 16	Making friends.. Well, my social life sucks (I'm 16) and I don't really know what's causing it. I used to be a loner, and very introverted, but I haven't been for a while now, and somehow I can't seem to make friends. I'm trying to be outgoing and fun but it seems that no one is interested in having anything more than chit chat with me. p.s. I'm not into all the parties and drinking and stuff like that so that could be a factor. I'm not ugly or boring(or at least i try not to be but it's hard) I get some attention from girls. I don't look forward to weekends, because I have very little "friends" to fill it with, and I get very sad from watching other people having fun with friends. Does anyone know what this is like or does anyone know what seems to be wrong with me?

11-04-2009, 12:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
shyvr6 Status: Makin Waves Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Somewhere on a map. Gender: Male Posts: 9,645	I know what it's like to not have friends, but not really being outgoing and still not being able to make friends. Can't really tell you what's wrong with you since I can't observe how you interact with people. __________________ Music

11-04-2009, 01:47 PM	#3 (permalink)
its_a_rick Status: So tired... Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Netherlands Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 213	Meh, that's why I'm glad I don't feel the need to be around people a lot, makes the being alone easier. As for the making friends, it's easier with people you know you'll have something in common with, like a hobby or whatever. And yeah, not really being into partying/drinking as that's what most people seem to do, where do the people who don't party hang out? I'm the same really, no drinking or partying or anything hehe. __________________ Yummy... boredom.

11-04-2009, 03:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
Catching Fire Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 454	Yeah not partying could be part of it. Although only the cool kids really partied every weekend in my high school. I would suggest joining a club at your school it gives you the ability to meet and talk to people. It also allows you to have set times you'll see them again and do things with them. You can build relatioships from it and form some friendships. __________________ No chains on my feet but Im not free- Bob Marley

11-04-2009, 05:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
shyvr6 Status: Makin Waves Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Somewhere on a map. Gender: Male Posts: 9,645	I had a group of great friends in high school and we never went to parties, so I don't think he needs to worry about that. __________________ Music

11-04-2009, 06:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
Grixxly Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Maryland Gender: Male Posts: 24	You're almost just like me. I'm also 16 and looking for answers as well. I'm able to keep myself occupied after school playing sports with people at the park but on weekends I'm normally cooped up in the house or doing shopping with my mom. Not very fun stuff. I would kill to have an exciting weekend. If you find anything that works let me know =)

11-04-2009, 06:58 PM	#7 (permalink)
Youandwe Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oklahoma Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 37	I totally know what you're going through. My SA came when I was 12 and now I'm 21. But I'm so glad you realize what you have so that you will be able to get help at such a young age! I know it is hard right now. Do you have anyone you can talk to about this that might be able to help? Maybe your parents or a guidance counselor? It might sound corny, but it's a life saver to get help from someoe who is older and knows how to help you. At 12,13,14,15,16... I thought I knew everything and tried to fix my SA and other issues by myself, not a good idea! And it's very good that you don't party and drink and all that stuff. Trust me, all that stuff seems aweome right now but in the long run, it's meaningless and a totally waste of time, leading only to regret. Do you not party and stuff because you're a Christian?

11-04-2009, 07:12 PM	#8 (permalink)
Zulaz Status: Non-Social Child Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Southern California Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 30	I dont have many friends either, but the thing is, i try to avoid people, becuase i hate them down here in Southern California? lol....yeah..very bad...oh well.. the only thing you really need to do is sit it out like i am right now until college. im 17, senior year, and really, most of the people you will meet, you will never/rarely ever talk to them EVER again when your in college. Unless you make friends who are "techy" people. Stay on the computer, play some MMO's, or if you and your friends have a xbox360/PS3. THOSE friends will last a VERY long time. Sadly, i have more online friends that actually listen to what you have to say, instead of my reality douche bags. All you gatta do, is try and find someone who has something in common with you. if your a gamer person, try and make friends who play games. Find something to do when your indoors.

11-04-2009, 07:35 PM	#9 (permalink)
Grixxly Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Maryland Gender: Male Posts: 24	I have to disagree with Zulaz. Such horrible advice. Sitting around doing nothing totally defeats the purpose of wanting to overcome SA. Don't stay inside, get out doors and communicate. You won't get anywhere with SA by staying inside. Even if you have nothing to do go outside for a walk and get practice making eye contact with people as you are walking by them or something. It's something I've done and think it has helped me. I hate flamming esspecially with SA people but Zulaz, this is Social Anxiety Support don't encourge it.

11-04-2009, 07:51 PM	#11 (permalink)
Grixxly Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Maryland Gender: Male Posts: 24	Well indoor things are good too