For me, the only reason to have social skills is for employment, I could easily pretend to jovial, cheerful and energetic at work, good incentive and got all the feign recognition- it actually yielded friends.
That describes me perfectly. I wouldn't use the word “pretend” though.
It was more like some primal survival instinct that would kick right in. Same with the depression, I could be so bad that it was taxing to even sit upright in a chair and then bamm-o, office calls and all of a sudden I'm Mr. Enthusiasm, who never shuts up -like hitting a switch.
I should have kept that job but I quit after 1 year.
Since I've been self-employed, I've gotten way worse. Funny I can talk about work all day, I just have problems with the hard questions like“What kind of pizza do you want”? or curve-balls like, “Hows it going”?
I've made a resolution to start watching TV again and add some fiction titles to the Kindle, to hopefully get that part of my brain ticking a little bit better.
I know that it's not that simple, but there must be a universal social connection
Like an SA's anonymous? The one and only time my depression landed me in the hospital, that's exactly what I told the doctor. He tried not to laugh audibly through his smug face explaining that given the nature of the illness anyone who could benefit from such a meeting would be too chicken to show up.
I had to laugh myself, picturing 8 or 10 of us retards all not making eye contact with each other as we're all respectively pretending to be “on my way somewhere” and never making it through the door w/ 20 empty chairs laid out and ready for the healing to begin and the host checking her watch wondering when everyone is going to show...
Sometimes groups like this are available, but usually as part of a specific CBT outpatient program. Could be worth looking into whether something like this is available near you(?).
- I have SA but I hate the depression that comes with it, I am studying methods of throwing away the idea of rejection through resilience, saying what the hell and laugh and just speak what's on my mind. Objectively this may look stupid, but that's not always true as we cannot predict what other people think.
Good luck and keep at it but don't push yourself beyond your limits out of desperation or force yourself too much like you would if say lifting weights to get stronger.
That's what I did, you don't want to exhaust yourself emotionally to the point were you auto-associate dealing with people as a trial-by-fire or ritualized chore that you;re too dejected to even try.
Be sure to simply keep it as something you endeavour to become better at.