loser/black sheep of the family? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:06 PM Thread Starter
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loser/black sheep of the family?

*raises hand* i'm the loser of the family. i'm an embarrassment to my parents. i'm not working and not studying (right now) and all i do day in and out is watch tv, read and go on the computer. i do go out from time to time.

my cousins are either in high school or university and are working as well. my brother study and work and have a gf and social life. even my cousin who everybody think is weird study and i think have a job.

i'm a shame to the family. a waste of space and a nuisance. i should just go. even though my mum says she's not ashamed of me i know that she is because she lies about my status to family. *SIGH* what the eff is wrong with me?!
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post #2 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:10 PM
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Kinda the same here. My parents quite obviously favour my brother. They pay for him to do whatever he wants pretty much, and never gave me money to go to the movies when I wanted to. He gets away with so much stuff it's stupid. I forget to wash the dishes one night and I get yelled and and have to wash them for a week. He forgets? Oh well, just wash them now and it's okay.

Only thing my parents ever seem to care about is my ability to fix stuff. I'm their little slave, as I like to call it. I wish I could move away but I'm not done school and don't have a job that can support me enough for that.
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post #3 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:13 PM
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I definitely am the black sheep of the family. Only my cousin (who has schizophrenia) is talked about less.
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post #4 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:17 PM
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`Raises hand`.`I prefer the word outcast though.
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post #5 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:17 PM
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Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm the loser of my family. It's not even close how much lower I am socially, ambitiously, and financially than all my family.

My brother just graduated college, my sister is a KU Grad and went back to get another degree, both my parents are extremely successful financially and graduated college.

I'm a delivery driver and only getting 11 hours a week. High school grad.

The great thing is I finally came to terms with myself and realized, who cares? So what if I haven't achieved what the rest of my family has. I'm comfortable doing what I'm doing, and that's all that matters. I don't need to torture myself trying to be someone that I'm not, just so I can compete with my family members.

Just be happy with yourself and focus on enjoying your own life. Don't worry about other people's achievements and never try to compete with other people like that. Please yourself, don't try to beat others.
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post #6 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:27 PM
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Me too, I only just started uni and i will probably be starting over next year in a different degree. I've never even had a part time job, my 16 year old sister has had one for nearly a year now.

My parent's have never called me a failure or anything but I'm sure they're somewhat disappointed.


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post #7 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:29 PM
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*raises hand*

Same boat, love.
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post #8 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:36 PM Thread Starter
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@IcemanKilmer: the pathetic thing is i'm not even doing anything. at least you have a job.

i'm a shame to the family but i know it's all my fault. i'm an adult and is responsible for my own life. i feel bad for my mum because my grandpa (dad's father) always blame her for me being the way i am. she always get blamed for everything. i just cause trouble for people.
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post #9 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mysterioussoul View Post
@IcemanKilmer: the pathetic thing is i'm not even doing anything. at least you have a job.

i'm a shame to the family but i know it's all my fault. i'm an adult and is responsible for my own life. i feel bad for my mum because my grandpa (dad's father) always blame her for me being the way i am. she always get blamed for everything. i just cause trouble for people.
I didn't have a job for a year before I had that one. Before my last job before this one, I didn't have a job for 7 months.

I'm still at my parent's house too, like I'm assuming you are?

Things aren't exactly golden for me right now, but they are better than before. I guess I wanted you to know that I know what it's like to be in your situation.
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post #10 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:52 PM Thread Starter
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thanks for your help. i'm just feeling pathetic right now.
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post #11 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 09:56 PM
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Wow im not the only one...cool


oh yea, and my mom likes to use the term "**** up" when she is angry that i dont do anything socially...so that makes me feel good about myself.
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post #12 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 10:02 PM
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post #13 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 10:03 PM
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Not much of a problem for me when the rest of the herd is the same color.

One live loser brother. One dead loser brother. They set the bar so very low that it would be damn hard to do worse even if I tried to fail.

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #14 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 10:04 PM
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*hand up*
youre not the only one hon
as much as i try i cant get out of my rut. everyone is working, or in school, or married having kids traveling and being smug making everyone proud. I just stand in the shadows and try not to fit in to their lives because i know how different i am. I get lost in the TV, books or internet because i cant afford to do allot outside.
even my brother who was drug dealing and on probation acts more cocky and calls me a loser. I have terrible support.
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post #15 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2011, 01:25 AM
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Yeah im definetly the loser/black sheep in my family, but i dont really care anymore. After all, I didnt ask to be born. Nor did i ask for parents who think its ok to put little to no effort into raising their kids.
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post #16 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2011, 05:48 AM
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*raises hands*
I'm obviously the black sheep of my family. I don't care though. I've had some bad luck but I'm expecting to finish high school and get into the college, get some party-time job. Then they'll see who "was not supposed to be born..." (by my father...)

Whatever..


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post #17 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2011, 05:54 AM
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*raises both hands*

Yes,that's how I feel.I'm the one who screws up a lot and my parents aren't exactly proud of me.Not any reason that they should be because I haven't done anything to be proud of.
Now I try not to give a ****. I'll never be good enough no matter I do so

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post #18 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2011, 05:59 AM
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im the beastly one of the family
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post #19 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2011, 06:30 AM
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Yes and no. Career wise I'm currently underachieving, yet I work my *** off doing long hours. So the job is crap, but I work hard and frequently.

Socially, yes. But I am likeable person and am improving. I just can't break that final barrier of allowing people to become close to me.

But I am an active person. I workout, I play and achieve stuff in competitive sport.

I have two cousins who are complete wasters, so I'm not the worst. In my immediate family though, probably.
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post #20 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-13-2011, 06:43 AM
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I never used to be, but when I started having problems in university (long story--transfered twice, dropped out, dropped classes, went part-time, didn't graduate until last year) I became an enormous disappointment to a few important members of my family. To be honest, though, I think these certain family members are disappointed with my sisters, too.

I'm the one they hate the most, however, and even though I've finally graduated, they keep asking me when I'm going to graduate, what the hell I'm doing with my life, etc. etc. They do this at family functions, sometimes in public places, and it absolutely infuriates and humiliates me. They don't know about my SA or my past depression issues, but I don't think things would be any better if they did.
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