*warning long post*
I can totally relate man, more than you could imagine. When you fall into the trap of isolation then the whole world seems like a nightmare and things seem impossible. Trust me I'm going through it right now and I have dependency issues even at this age, it's sickening and ridiculous.
You simply have to take the advice and do what people on here are saying. I'm almost 5yrs jobless and haven't gone on benefits due to shame nor have I even made one single job application. I walked out of a reasonable 55k banking job that was better than nothing and have been here idle since. Yes I've been overseas a couple of times and had a bit of a life going out here and there but I felt a fraud.
The only way is to get out of the house. I isolate too sometimes and even getting out to get the mail at times I can't do because I fear what neighbours across the road would think having not seen me for a few weeks or months.
You know when I last took my German shepherd dog for a walk? Oct 15 I still remember the date and I swore I'd take him 5 days a week all summer. It's been 6 mths since he's seen outside our yard. That's just cruel, he's getting on and when I have my isolation moments I stay indoors and don't see him for days, even though in this time I've played with him and spent time, he's a reflection of my sa because I haven't taken him out regularly his whole life.
It all comes down to this; slowly go out of the house, break your routine, look for work, you'll be busy for 8 hours a day and will earn dollars, get set on that and chip away at the debt and get a car.
Then go look for places to rent, whether flatmates or a 1 bdr place.
I can't bring back these 4+ yrs and I struggle with depression too. I nearly dropped out of hs due to depression, uni was the killer blow. But I always know that as long as you're healthy and breathing, there is hope.
For me personally, I've been to professionals in the past to no avail. I've had 11 sessions of cbt this current time and it's done little and I'm at the point where I want to cancel it.
I'm officially anti meds and with all the different treatments from pills to ect and stuff I know it's all a false ray of hope and placebo. Having said that, for others meds may have been a godsend.
You gotta get the motivation and build confidence man, I gotta get take my own advice!
If you're like me and chronic depression and self esteem/SA stunt your progress then it may be a grind all your life but sometimes that's the way it is. I've had so many moments where I would be in depression and the black cloud would go away when it felt like it. The feeling is horrendous. At it's worst, you feel like a zombie and so on edge and all you want to do is lay in a foetal position for good. That's what I'm going through right now actually. Last few days I've overslept and have eaten maybe 2 meals and consequently lost muscle mass and weight. It arose from frustration at not getting things done and procrastinating. Like going to get my full licence, seeing my doctor, doing a simple task for my mother, seeing a special agency that helps ppl with mental health issues get work, exercising.
You're not alone buddy. I wouldn't wish the predicament I'm in to anyone. I literally have nightmares and scary visions on what I'd do if something happened to my parents I'd drown. This is what happens when you're too dependent. It's my mind telling me to get on my own feet before it's too late. I've literally wasted 11 yra of life post high school by not knuckling down and getting a degree when I was 18 and letting depression and sa take over me. Then stumbling through 5 yrs of retail and non degree essential banking work. Up to now where I've blown half my 20s in a rut.
I mean 5 yrs ago I was still miserable but at least I was working fulltime and out of the house. I may not have been going out socialising on days off but it was better than this present state.
End of the day, it's your life. It's going to be your story and your journey. My current psych tells me that even if God forbid I lost my whole family tommorrow, I'd still have to soldier on somehow and chances are I probably will.