Letting Go

[BreakingtheGirl]

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[Buerhle]

I can relate to all of this. I'm not sure what I think about it though.

I know it's not healthy to be bitter, but I do like the feeling of seeing things as they actually are instead of pretending I'm living in a different reality than I actually am.

[NoName99]

You're making perfect sense. I wish I could just let go of the past, but I can't. I've had bad experiences that weren't my fault, and I've come to grips with those. The experiences that I think I'm at least partly to blame for, those I can't let go. I can't forgive myself. More to the point, I don't want to forgive myself. I guess I'm hoping I'll find myself in similar situations in the future so I can finally do things right this time around, and only then will I be able to let go. Regret is a b*tch.

I imagine if I moved to another place where I didn't know anybody, the past wouldn't follow me and I could start over. But I'm too much of a puss* to do that.

[adam28]

No you are making sense. It's hard not to dwell on the past but you have to learn from it and move on. Beating yourself up accomplishes nothing, just think through what you did wrong and then let it go. And I know what you mean about sometimes just wanting to become buddhist. It sounds crazy but I've looked into it a bit and have kicked around the idea of moving to India at some point in the future to be a buddhist monk. I'm a long way away from actually doing that, but it seems like if things don't go well it's not a bad option. A trip to India for a few years to try and find myself wouldn't hurt...

[Buerhle]

Originally Posted by NoName99

You're making perfect sense. I wish I could just let go of the past, but I can't. I've had bad experiences that weren't my fault, and I've come to grips with those. The experiences that I think I'm at least partly to blame for, those I can't let go. I can't forgive myself. More to the point, I don't want to forgive myself. I guess I'm hoping I'll find myself in similar situations in the future so I can finally do things right this time around, and only then will I be able to let go. Regret is a b*tch.

I imagine if I moved to another place where I didn't know anybody, the past wouldn't follow me and I could start over. But I'm too much of a puss* to do that.

Def. Same here. And I hav improved in my 2nd chances, but I still screw up amazingly enough. And it also sucks that your past kind of sticks around forever.

[Buerhle]

Originally Posted by adam28

No you are making sense. It's hard not to dwell on the past but you have to learn from it and move on. Beating yourself up accomplishes nothing, just think through what you did wrong and then let it go. And I know what you mean about sometimes just wanting to become buddhist. It sounds crazy but I've looked into it a bit and have kicked around the idea of moving to India at some point in the future to be a buddhist monk. I'm a long way away from actually doing that, but it seems like if things don't go well it's not a bad option. A trip to India for a few years to try and find myself wouldn't hurt...

I thought about the same thing, a few years back.

[river1]

its true and dont wait to long to let go..
i waited years to let go of bullying abuse and abandonment im now in a position that only i can change i strongly believe in letting go of the past but its harder done then said

[rymo]

Once you feel like you've made significant progress with your SA and you feel like there is a chance for happiness for you...a light at the end of the tunnel..you will realize all those past regrets and mistakes were just stones on the path you took to make you who you are today. When you accept who you ARE, you can let go of who you WERE. The only way to accept who you are is to keep plowing forward and work on yourself.

I am far from beating SA, but I've come far enough that I just don't give a **** about all those little insignificant things that I used to be embarrassed about or regretful for. Why? Because no one else really gives a ****, so why should I? It's a waste of energy. And if someone did care in a negative way, they are an ******* and their opinion just doesn't matter. I used to be soooo regretful about every conversation I ever had with a girl in high school, because they would always go south. The second I realized I could at least somewhat talk to a girl was the second that all that negativity just washed away. I can face those girls from way back when now without issue, because I am a new and improved person and I don't care what they thought of me back then (or what they think of me now..unless they want a piece of this ppp)

[Buerhle]

I can't get my iPad to qoute right.

Anyways, thanks rymo. This makes me feel a lot better, but that's prob obvious.

Originally Posted by rymo

Once you feel like you've made significant progress with your SA and you feel like there is a chance for happiness for you...a light at the end of the tunnel..you will realize all those past regrets and mistakes were just stones on the path you took to make you who you are today. When you accept who you ARE, you can let go of who you WERE. The only way to accept who you are is to keep plowing forward and work on yourself.

I am far from beating SA, but I've come far enough that I just don't give a **** about all those little insignificant things that I used to be embarrassed about or regretful for. Why? Because no one else really gives a ****, so why should I? It's a waste of energy. And if someone did care in a negative way, they are an ******* and their opinion just doesn't matter. I used to be soooo regretful about every conversation I ever had with a girl in high school, because they would always go south. The second I realized I could at least somewhat talk to a girl was the second that all that negativity just washed away. I can face those girls from way back when now without issue, because I am a new and improved person and I don't care what they thought of me back then (or what they think of me now..unless they want a piece of this ppp)

[BreakingtheGirl]

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