Lashing out at others - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2011, 09:16 PM Thread Starter
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Lashing out at others

Any time im under a lot of stress or something doesnt go right for me I tend to make situations worse for myself by taking it out on others.

Its hard to determine if this lashing out is even reasonable. Its always about something but after I do it and step back/reflect I feel completely ridiculous for what I do. It makes very paranoid of those around me also forming trust issues.

Im worried because I have already lost friends over this who dont even want anything to do with me anymore. I got on my roommates today about one of them breaking something months ago and things missing that can be explained because things didn't go right with a girl last night. I think they are pissed at me and made my situation with them worse because of all the dumb stuff I said. I don't want to lose anymore friends over my stupid behavior they were hard enough to find in the first place.

Anyone else experience this? Have any tips about how I can handle my stress and aggression in a more reasonable manner?
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2011, 09:25 PM
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This is a tough one. You're probably a tough person and have high expectations for people. That's not necessarily a bad thing. You might have to learn how to stop depending on people so much. Maybe your expectations cause you to get upset. The more you become self-reliant and stop depending on other people, the better you'll feel and the better your relationships will become. Hang in there.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2011, 09:46 PM Thread Starter
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The thing is I already consider my self very self reliant do to my mistrust of others.

This particular situation was about a light of mine getting broken months ago, and finding out a roommate of mine did it when he was drunk not even knowing. I found this out when my other roommate told me the other night.
What sparked me getting into this is assuming he took some of my ganja.

Even though we just smoked it all. I flipped because I feel like I couldnt trust them after lying to me about the light when it first broke. I lost my other friend because I assumed he stole my ipod when i left it at his place threatening to call the police. It was eventually found. But how do I know he just wasnt scared?
Note that this was when I hit rock bottom last semester before getting on the right meds.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2011, 09:47 PM
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I used to be a very angry person and I would lash out at people for no reason constantly just because my life was so frustrating. I am no longer an angry person though, I just try to relax and forget about my problems. There is no use in lashing out at people. It does not help anything it just makes life more stressful. Try not to dwell to long on whatever makes you angry or stresses you out and just forget about it and try to move on. Like I have noticed that with SA most of us(or at a few of us lol) are perfectionist and are extremely detailed compared to most people, this is something that used to drive me insane. If things weren't perfect then I would be in a rage but now I know most are not like that so I just look past those things. But anyways try not take your problems out on your friends. If your like I was most of it is probably uncalled for and just causes you more stress and makes people not want to be your friends.

"They laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they are all the same."
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2011, 09:48 PM
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I never had a habit of lashing out at people, but I used to have some pretty cold behavior towards others because of my bitterness about SA.

There's some incredibly cheesy quote that goes something like "people don't dislike you; they dislike how you make them feel." I wont just say that and leave because I think it's easy to dismiss fluffy language like that, but it did make me a little bit more kind in my dealings with others. The more time I spent looking at myself in third person and acting based on the perspective of other people, the less anxious I got and the more I understood why I should keep my feelings in check and not "lash out."
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2011, 10:17 PM Thread Starter
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Yea i guess the reason I do this is because I feel like if things cant go right for me why should they go right for them. Its like I want them to feel as miserable as I am.

Last semester I absolutely hated happy people because I was so miserable and depressed.

I hate doing this because it I feel extremely selfish for doing so.

They already seen me have mental breakdowns and are aware of my anxiety problems but I cant be using that excuse, their gonna get sick of it.

What really bothered me about this was confronting there problems to them. Its like I want people to feel like their as messed up as me.

I really just need to learn how to chill during this situations and exert my negative aggressive energy in a more positive way.
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