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Old 06-23-2010, 06:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default It's not social anxiety, its low social tolerance !

I can go to parties. When the moon eclipses the sun I can become the star of the party too.

I just don't like doing it too often .....

Let me explain. The last time I went to any sort of 'clubbin' event, was in February, where I dressed as The Joker and took pictures all day long.

This weekend is the first anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. I plan on going to the local memorial concert.

I mean seriously, its not that I can't enjoy a party. Its that I am not into the party every weekend / month end scene. I guess what I am saying is, don't let anyone shame you into doing what you don't want to. If a friend of yours says lets go clubbing tonight, you don't have to go again next week if you don't want to.

I don't go partying for the sake of it, I only go partying when there is something about it interesting enough to override my general dislike of parties.

Like if there is a costume competition. Or if it is Michael Jackson's death anniversary.
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Old 06-23-2010, 06:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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It's been a year since Michael Jackson died! Yikes!.
Time really does fly...
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Old 06-23-2010, 07:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Well then you should be happy that you aren't going out because you don't want to, not because you feel to anxious to. Sometimes I tell myself I just don't want to go out to try to repress how much I really do want to go out.
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Old 06-23-2010, 07:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by VIncymon View Post
I only go partying when there is something about it interesting enough to override my general dislike of parties.
A lot of people on SAS say these kinds of things: I don't like parties. I don't like small talk. People bore me. People have stupid interests that I don't share. Socializing is pointless.

I think we'll all come to a point where we enjoy the company of other people, when anxiety, or whatever hang-ups we might have, doesn't interfere.
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Old 06-23-2010, 08:32 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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A lot of people on SAS say these kinds of things: I don't like parties. I don't like small talk. People bore me. People have stupid interests that I don't share. Socializing is pointless.

I think we'll all come to a point where we enjoy the company of other people, when anxiety, or whatever hang-ups we might have, doesn't interfere.
I respectfully disagree. I don't like small talk, I don't like partiess, pointless conversation does bore me...I think it comes down to whether you are an introvert with SA or an extrovert with SA. Too much social contact drains me, I like my own company. Ten years ago, I probably felt different, but I was also depressed and miserable because those were all the things I thought I wanted. Once I realized who I really am and stopped beating myself up for not being "normal", it's only then that I became truly happy.
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Old 06-23-2010, 09:43 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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It really depresses me to think that I might not want these things. I'm pretty sure I do.

Honestly, I want to make a poll for the users here to see what percentage agrees with me... the reason I hate SA so much and want to fix it is simply because of how annoying a high sex drive is without the tools to even attempt to fulfill...

Parties, small talk, all that nonsense is just a buffer to intimate relationships, the void that causes all issues.
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Old 06-24-2010, 02:32 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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well,yes the sex drive is high. Some days I really wish I had something more interesting to do than masturbate. However :

-in this age of std's iam certainly not looking for a random hook-up.
-Sex does not have to happen at a party. Siex is usually private. In fact the only thing you need to have sex is a willing woman.
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:31 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I respectfully disagree. I don't like small talk, I don't like partiess, pointless conversation does bore me...I think it comes down to whether you are an introvert with SA or an extrovert with SA. Too much social contact drains me, I like my own company
An introvert is not a misanthrope. Introverts do enjoy socializing- it just doesn't energize them, like it does with extroverts.
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:43 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Sigh.
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:08 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Can a person not like parties without being a misanthrope? Too much social contact drains me, that's what I stated, not all social contact. Conversation with a close friend/family members sure. "So how bout this weather", outside my kids school with the other parents? Ugh.

I suppose small talk is a means to an end. You do have to endure it in order to make deeper connections with people. But not everyone I meet do I need to make those connections with. Why can't people be okay with quiet instead of forced conversation? That I have problems with.

Don't judge me...*runs away crying*.
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Old 06-24-2010, 02:46 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I agree with the above comment. Socializing drains me, being alone energizes me.
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Old 06-24-2010, 03:02 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by VIncymon View Post
well,yes the sex drive is high. Some days I really wish I had something more interesting to do than masturbate. However :

-in this age of std's iam certainly not looking for a random hook-up.
-Sex does not have to happen at a party. Siex is usually private. In fact the only thing you need to have sex is a willing woman.
Women don't tend to approach you and hop on when you sit at your house not going out to parties though...

It's really difficult to get to a close position with women without being friend zoned. You need confidence and social skills to be a candidate.
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:13 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Women don't tend to approach you and hop on when you sit at your house not going out to parties though...

It's really difficult to get to a close position with women without being friend zoned. You need confidence and social skills to be a candidate.

GASP .. you don't say ?
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:49 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by YerBlues View Post
Women don't tend to approach you and hop on when you sit at your house not going out to parties though...

It's really difficult to get to a close position with women without being friend zoned. You need confidence and social skills to be a candidate.
You know what's interesting? When people say "You need social skills to get a woman to want to have a relationship with you or have sex with you", I sometimes feel the same way about approaching men. Some men (not all) expect women to be very social with many friends, always smiling, only displaying basic intelligence, etc. I feel undesired a lot because I'm too "nerdy" and I'm not concerned about being perfectly feminine, I enjoy holding both masculine and feminine qualities becuase I'm funny and dorky and laid back and some men get very turned off by that because they want women to be so damn girly and not dude-like and I'm too much of a tomboy to impress men. My interest in philosophy, world issues, metal, etc. and my dorkiness has scared some men away. So I can understand how men feel, because guess what? More women get turned off by me than men do (I'm attracted to both genders) so I know how bad that feels to not have sex in forever. I haven't even kissed a woman in a year and a half. Damn I feel like a loser for admitting that. Also haven't kissed a man in a number of months. Anyway, my nerdy, socially anxious, dorky self isn't experiencing any love from either sides. Wah wah. Masturbation time!

I also wanted to say, you sound smart and if you're respectful to women then eventually you will find a woman who will trust you with her body and her heart and she will feel comfortable having sex with you.
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Old 05-29-2014, 12:45 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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You know what's interesting? When people say "You need social skills to get a woman to want to have a relationship with you or have sex with you", I sometimes feel the same way about approaching men. Some men (not all) expect women to be very social with many friends, always smiling, only displaying basic intelligence, etc. I feel undesired a lot because I'm too "nerdy" and I'm not concerned about being perfectly feminine, I enjoy holding both masculine and feminine qualities becuase I'm funny and dorky and laid back and some men get very turned off by that because they want women to be so damn girly and not dude-like and I'm too much of a tomboy to impress men. My interest in philosophy, world issues, metal, etc. and my dorkiness has scared some men away. So I can understand how men feel, because guess what? More women get turned off by me than men do (I'm attracted to both genders) so I know how bad that feels to not have sex in forever. I haven't even kissed a woman in a year and a half. Damn I feel like a loser for admitting that. Also haven't kissed a man in a number of months. Anyway, my nerdy, socially anxious, dorky self isn't experiencing any love from either sides. Wah wah. Masturbation time!

I also wanted to say, you sound smart and if you're respectful to women then eventually you will find a woman who will trust you with her body and her heart and she will feel comfortable having sex with you.

Those men who get turned off by what you just described are better off with the usual bimbo's of basic intelligence that are around.

I literally just registered to tell you that "philosophy, world issues, metal" turns the **** out of some men, i have tried to lower my expectations for years and fake basic intelligence, become an ultimate average douche, and i ended up with women i literally hate seeing.

Don't change for any F*****, and you'll eventually meet the right person.
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