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Old 03-09-2011, 03:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Is it weird to not want a boyfriend/girlfriend???

I've been doing a lot of self analyzing and I have come to the conclusion that I really don't want a boyfriend. It's just really hard to explain to guys because when I talk to them, they think that I am hitting on them when I just want to be friends.

I'm not depressed or sad or anything. I was last year because of my SA and my lack of social skills. This year I feel really good even though i still have SA. Anyway, I feel that relationships are not for me. I know that I can change but idk maybe I'm turning asexual or something. I've been having this feeling like I can talk to many guys and not be attracted to them. Also, it's weird that I don't want a relationship when all the other girls at school do.
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Old 03-09-2011, 03:49 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I don't think so. I never cared much about having a boyfriend, except people singled me out for it.

Them: "Do you have a boyfriend."
Me: "No, I'm single."
Them: "Awe, but your so pretty" (which was simply flattery...I'm no model)
And once a mature woman said to me "Aren't you scared to be without a man?"

ack!

Anyway, I wasn't all that depressed being single. When someone did come along every so often, however, the lack of experience stung a bit.

My point is, if you're happy being single great!
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Old 03-09-2011, 03:51 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I don't think it is weird. It is what makes you happy that is the most important.

Maybe you will want one in the future if you meet someone who you really like so much or maybe you won't ever.

As long as you are happy that is all that matters. I wish I was happy being single.
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Old 03-09-2011, 03:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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I think it is what you make it to be. But from an outsiders view ill say its completely reasonable.
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Old 03-09-2011, 04:03 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I don't think it's wierd, it's whatever suits your life and make you comfortable.

There was a time where I wasn't keen on having a relationship with a single person that I would have to be close to on a regular basis and probably becoming dependant on eachother, but now I'd like to have one, however that's my personal shift of choice.
If you feel fine with how your relations are going with other people, no one else can really force you to think otherwise.
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Old 03-09-2011, 04:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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It is definitely weird in the big, judgemental eye of society. This is all anyone is apparently seeking. Our life goal is to be constantly searching for "the one."

I'm not all that interested either any more.
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Old 03-09-2011, 04:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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It's your choice nobody cares.
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Old 03-09-2011, 04:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Not really. Sometimes you are better off being single, remember that relationships aren't always peaches and cream. If you are happy being unattached then stay that way, don't force yourself into dating just because it's the done thing. Sure there might be a lot of people around you in relationships, but how many of them are truly happy? You'd be surprised at the answer. I say focus on what's more important in life first like certain goals you want to achieve, things like relationships can fall into place later. You've got plenty of time yet if you do change your mind anyway.
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Old 03-09-2011, 04:39 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Like some other SAS-ers have mentioned, if you are content, that's all that matters. It's not worth comparing yourself to other people, you don't have to be like them if that's not what you want for yourself. And do you talk to females as well as guys..?
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Old 03-09-2011, 04:56 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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if by weird you mean abnormal and deviant of "normal" human behavior and ethic, then yes its weird. By nature we're sexual beings, but I really don't think its weird that some of us have lower sex drive than others, for whatever reason that might be (circumstance, choice, beliefs, religion whatever). Personally i've never dismissed the notion of having sex or being in a relationship, but i've also never deliberately gone out of my way to get laid or get a girlfriend like other people do. Is this weird? maybe, but I don't really care and I don't think anyone is entitled to say otherwise.
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Old 03-09-2011, 05:06 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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A couple things to take into consideration are that most relationships end in a break-up. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Marriage literally kills you faster than not being married because of all the energy people spend arguing. Your spouse can take the life out of you.

I don't think it's weird, I think it's different. By that I mean that it's not a bad thing. When you say weird it sounds bad, which it isn't. The truth is that most of society is wrong because most people think we need an intimate partner, when in reality we don't. I've learned to not care what society says about stuff, they can be wrong about things. Many people are narrow-minded and believe that anything different than normal is bad. I've had friends call me a loser because I like to eat pizza more than once a week. This just proves that many people think everyone has to be like them. Guess what? We don't. Just do what you want to do and be yourself. At least you have the strength to think for yourself, unlike much of society.
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Old 03-09-2011, 05:46 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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It's not weird.

I am 20 and I have never had a boyfriend and while most of my peers think I'm odd because of that I'm proud of myself for being single and just not caring so much about having a relationship. Being in a relationship is about the last thing I worry about with being a full time student. My parents always tell me that I do not need a man to have a good life.
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Old 03-09-2011, 10:02 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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[QUOTE= I've had friends call me a loser because I like to eat pizza more than once a week. This just proves that many people think everyone has to be like them. Guess what? We don't. Just do what you want to do and be yourself. At least you have the strength to think for yourself, unlike much of society.[/QUOTE]

Good advice. The pizza thing is strange. What's wrong with pizza? Lol. I love it!
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Old 03-10-2011, 12:21 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VivaEmptinessRoses View Post
I've been doing a lot of self analyzing and I have come to the conclusion that I really don't want a boyfriend. It's just really hard to explain to guys because when I talk to them, they think that I am hitting on them when I just want to be friends.

I'm not depressed or sad or anything. I was last year because of my SA and my lack of social skills. This year I feel really good even though i still have SA. Anyway, I feel that relationships are not for me. I know that I can change but idk maybe I'm turning asexual or something. I've been having this feeling like I can talk to many guys and not be attracted to them. Also, it's weird that I don't want a relationship when all the other girls at school do.
'Asexual' haha, nice way of putting it!
I'm the same as you: I don't feel the need for a 'boyfriend' - the term seems pretty shallow to me anyway, and I'm becoming cynical about romantic/'soul mate' relationships anyway with the amount of people getting divorced/living in non-committal de-facto relationships. I believe people, including ourselves, we're becoming to self-centred, I guess relationships require a high degree of selflessness, forbearance and loyalty.
One good thing about not wanting a ''boyfriend'' is that you learn not to be codependant and use another person as a crutch.
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Old 03-10-2011, 12:52 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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If some mature woman says to you " aren`t you scared to be without a man" then she shouldn`t be in relationship in the first place, relying on someone to heavily in a relationship is pretty unfair, i`ve been single most of my life because i don`t think its fair me bringing my deeply personal issues into a relationship, besides when i have tryed on a couple of occasions to try out a close friendship it hasn`t worked, the last one i tryed was about 18 months ago and it crashed `n` burned coz i couldn`t, ahem..."perform" (coz of depression etc.) so she ended up telling everyone that i was gay, cheers!!
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