Social Anxiety Support

Hockey1985 · 08-20-2012, 06:32 AM

Hi I'm Andy, 27.

Serious question...not trying to feel sorry for myself.

I feel like I'm stuck. I've felt like it for a while. Starting to feel guilty about living at my parents with absolutely no money to my name.

I know I need to get off my *** and get a job....but the anxiety and worry and lack of drive...all that together sucks....guess I am feeling sorry for myself.

Anyway, just thought I'd share my thoughts.

Feel free to reply.

Luctor · 08-20-2012, 06:46 AM

Not unless you have some sort of treatment plan. Are you in treatment: on meds, in some kind of therapy?

Chatise19 · 08-20-2012, 06:52 AM

It is a vicious cycle. You need a job to help you out of your life situation, but can't get a job because your life situation. I feel like you can be 'content' with constant distractions and keeping those issues away from the front of your mind. But you can never be happy. Yes I know content means happy, but I'm using it to say 'complacent'. When you give in to those disorders and stop trying to overcome them, then it's alot easier. But it's gonna bug you for the rest of your life.

Hockey1985 · 08-20-2012, 07:11 AM

Thanks for the replies.

I am on meds...Paxil for the SAD, and Depakote and Seroquel for Bipolar Disorder. I've made a lot of progress against SAD...I did Dr. Richards CBT, but mainly just the C part. Diagnosed myself with SAD when I was like 13.

I overdosed on pills (Ativan) and almost killed myself almost exactly 2 years ago.
Haven't taken benzos since.

I had a "manic episode" about a year and a half ago. That is when I found out I was bipolar. Was in a mental facility for a week and a half after that.

I feel like I am still recovering from that, or just using it as an excuse to not do **** with my life. I don't know.

Chatise, thanks for the advice to giving into the disorder. I think a better way to put it is to accept it and move on with life. Always easier said than done when I'm typing it into a computer.

hulejul · 08-20-2012, 07:23 PM

If you find any solution please share. Been living with my parents on social disabilities for years now. Got BP2 with severe social anxiety/GAD.

Feels like the social anxiety fluctuates along with the hypomanic episodes, ie in high school i could function normal for long periods of time but then suddenly the depressive periods would set in and the social anxiety came along with it, making it impossible to go to school without suffering crippling panic attacks.

Right now they put me on sertraline and lyrica to stabilize the depression and moods as well as benzos for panic attacks. But I don't know, it feels like this medication just makes me feel mentally numb, with extreme derealizations (everything feels fuzzy and unreal) and still pretty depressed with increasing suicidal thoughts as I get older and older.
It might have got my mood stable but I still avoid all social interaction and kinda made me lose all will to fight and courage to try and go out and do something about it. It also kinda makes me feel that everyone is just living fake happy lives, and the world is pretty ****ty.

So I don't know, at times I feel I'd rather have the hypomanic phases all the time since I feel like I have tons more energy, creativity and am much more outgoing. Problem is just the huge crash that always follows. Does any other BP2'er feel the same way about that?

I know it's not much help to your original question OP, but at least you're not the only one.

(sorry if my writing is bad, english isnt my first language)

Hockey1985 · 08-20-2012, 08:04 PM

Hulejul, thanks for the reply. Your English seems pretty flawless to me.

I relate to everything you are saying.

The world really isn't ****ty. There are decent people out there. Most just don't understand what we go through, so it makes things complicated.

Benzos made me zone out quite a bit too, and I kind of lost touch with reality while on them. Glad I am off them. Although, they can be helpful if used correctly.

I get pretty content with living at home, with hopes of a better and more independent future, then it hits me and I realize that I'm not making any progress against that.

I try to stop the negative thoughts when I catch them. I am feeling better now than when I did this morning when I posted this. Hang in there, I know how you feel.

08-20-2012, 06:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
Hockey1985 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: St. Louis Metro Area, IL Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 17	Is it possible to have bipolar disorder, SAD, and live a content and happy life? Hi I'm Andy, 27. Serious question...not trying to feel sorry for myself. I feel like I'm stuck. I've felt like it for a while. Starting to feel guilty about living at my parents with absolutely no money to my name. I know I need to get off my *** and get a job....but the anxiety and worry and lack of drive...all that together sucks....guess I am feeling sorry for myself. Anyway, just thought I'd share my thoughts. Feel free to reply.

08-20-2012, 06:46 AM	#2 (permalink)
Luctor Status: Sad Vicious Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: South Africa Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 737	Not unless you have some sort of treatment plan. Are you in treatment: on meds, in some kind of therapy? __________________ "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus "Everyone wants to get out of the rain Wants to be free, wants to see no more pain We're guaranteed that the season will change 'Till then, I'm keeping sunshine on my brain" - Mike "Eyedea" Larsen (RIP)

08-20-2012, 06:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
Chatise19 Status: Fork in the Road Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Texas, US Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 529	It is a vicious cycle. You need a job to help you out of your life situation, but can't get a job because your life situation. I feel like you can be 'content' with constant distractions and keeping those issues away from the front of your mind. But you can never be happy. Yes I know content means happy, but I'm using it to say 'complacent'. When you give in to those disorders and stop trying to overcome them, then it's alot easier. But it's gonna bug you for the rest of your life. __________________ No risk, no reward!

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08-20-2012, 07:11 AM	#4 (permalink)
Hockey1985 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: St. Louis Metro Area, IL Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 17	Thanks for the replies. I am on meds...Paxil for the SAD, and Depakote and Seroquel for Bipolar Disorder. I've made a lot of progress against SAD...I did Dr. Richards CBT, but mainly just the C part. Diagnosed myself with SAD when I was like 13. I overdosed on pills (Ativan) and almost killed myself almost exactly 2 years ago. Haven't taken benzos since. I had a "manic episode" about a year and a half ago. That is when I found out I was bipolar. Was in a mental facility for a week and a half after that. I feel like I am still recovering from that, or just using it as an excuse to not do **** with my life. I don't know. Chatise, thanks for the advice to giving into the disorder. I think a better way to put it is to accept it and move on with life. Always easier said than done when I'm typing it into a computer.

08-20-2012, 07:23 PM	#5 (permalink)
hulejul Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: denmark Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 2	If you find any solution please share. Been living with my parents on social disabilities for years now. Got BP2 with severe social anxiety/GAD. Feels like the social anxiety fluctuates along with the hypomanic episodes, ie in high school i could function normal for long periods of time but then suddenly the depressive periods would set in and the social anxiety came along with it, making it impossible to go to school without suffering crippling panic attacks. Right now they put me on sertraline and lyrica to stabilize the depression and moods as well as benzos for panic attacks. But I don't know, it feels like this medication just makes me feel mentally numb, with extreme derealizations (everything feels fuzzy and unreal) and still pretty depressed with increasing suicidal thoughts as I get older and older. It might have got my mood stable but I still avoid all social interaction and kinda made me lose all will to fight and courage to try and go out and do something about it. It also kinda makes me feel that everyone is just living fake happy lives, and the world is pretty ****ty. So I don't know, at times I feel I'd rather have the hypomanic phases all the time since I feel like I have tons more energy, creativity and am much more outgoing. Problem is just the huge crash that always follows. Does any other BP2'er feel the same way about that? I know it's not much help to your original question OP, but at least you're not the only one. (sorry if my writing is bad, english isnt my first language)

08-20-2012, 08:04 PM	#6 (permalink)
Hockey1985 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: St. Louis Metro Area, IL Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 17	Hulejul, thanks for the reply. Your English seems pretty flawless to me. I relate to everything you are saying. The world really isn't ****ty. There are decent people out there. Most just don't understand what we go through, so it makes things complicated. Benzos made me zone out quite a bit too, and I kind of lost touch with reality while on them. Glad I am off them. Although, they can be helpful if used correctly. I get pretty content with living at home, with hopes of a better and more independent future, then it hits me and I realize that I'm not making any progress against that. I try to stop the negative thoughts when I catch them. I am feeling better now than when I did this morning when I posted this. Hang in there, I know how you feel.