Is it hurtful to be called ugly?

[Want2Bconfident]

My biggest problem is that in the past I was ridiculed and insulted and called names about how I looked, it really made me so self conscious and feel so negative about myself.

Here is a story on Girls Aloud singer Nicola Roberts who felt so bad because of negative press on her looks, even though there is nothing wrong with her.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz...nded-ugly.html

I am always self conscious and protecting myself from negative judgements about how I look, such as 'ugly'. Maybe now I am in my late 20s people won't say it, but people are still probably thinking it. I have been called ugly many times in my life and its kind of like made me believe that is who I am and how people see me.

Should it be hurtful to be called or thought of as ugly? I am trying to find a way to no longer be hurt by people judging me this way but I just don't know how to get my head around it and to not be hurt by it any more.

I just want to add, this is not about being shallow or vain, I don't care less about looks on others, but I have been made to feel so unworthy and horrible and inadequate and inferior because of this. I don't want to feel that way.

So, in your opinion should you be hurt by being judged as ugly?

Final point - I do look my very best and am in good shape, stylish, etc, but am just not a very good looking person.

[bezoomny]

I googled the "ugly girl" you were talking about, and beyond there being nothing wrong with her, she's the best looking one in the group. Everyone else looks so phony with their spraytans and straightened hair and overplucked eyebrows. She's the only one who looks like a real person.

I've always been very sensitive about my looks, because I was made fun of a lot when I was little (big nose, pale, glasses, braces, incredibly gawky). It does hurt, horribly. I have basically no self esteem. It's easy to say that you won't let people get to you, but it's just next to impossible to really do that.

[Want2Bconfident]

Originally Posted by bezoomny

I googled the "ugly girl" you were talking about, and beyond there being nothing wrong with her, she's the best looking one in the group. Everyone else looks so phony with their spraytans and straightened hair and overplucked eyebrows. She's the only one who looks like a real person.

I've always been very sensitive about my looks, because I was made fun of a lot when I was little (big nose, pale, glasses, braces, incredibly gawky). It does hurt, horribly. I have basically no self esteem. It's easy to say that you won't let people get to you, but it's just next to impossible to really do that.

But is it impossible? I mean its only how we interpret what it means. I mean if I managed to believe that being judged as ugly was a nice thing then I would not fear or be hurt or sensitive to it. Whilst I continue to be so hurt and afraid and sensitive to this, then I will keep being self conscious and fearful when all eyes are on me - making me anxious. All I need to do is to believe in my mind its not hurtful or anything to be bothered about. Yes it is hard to go from being so self conscious and hurt by such a judgement for like 15 years to no longer being hurt or bothered by it, but it can be done surely.

Life is too short to be held back by this. You sound like you have very similar problem to me, low self esteem and very hurt by these judgements - and if you believe people will think like that then you will be self conscious and protect yourself from such judgements by being anxious and avoiding attention on yourself.

[kkluv20]

Unfortunately, when we are called ugly it does hurt...but I personally think if even just one person finds you beautiful, then who is anyone else to say otherwise? Everyone has their own definition of what is beautiful. Even stereotypical standards of beauty vary between cultures. What is considered beautiful in one culture, might be considered ugly in another. I think there are even different classes of beauty. For example, celebrities are judged a lot harsher than most people. They might be called ugly if they just have a bad hair day, chose the wrong outfit, or whatever. Sometimes I am watching shows on tv and then I will hear people say "so and so is so ugly, Eeew". I will think to myself, how is that person ugly at all? Like I seriously don't see it.
When someone says someone is ugly, I am like.. what does that even mean? What is your point? Personally, I define ugliness as the people that are close-minded and hateful towards others....

[Noca]

She looks fine to me?

[Oasis]

I googled the girl and she does look rather unattractive, IMO. She shouldn't take it personal though. Her looks say nothing about the type of person she is.

I don't think I've ever been called ugly before but if I was I wouldn't believe it and I wouldn't believe the person calling me ugly believed it. I guess I'm just arrogant like that.

[kaylarose]

how is she unattractive? she's just a regular nice girl..not ugly at all. she might look that way because the rest of them are so "done up" and she's natural. in the real world nobody would say she was ugly.

[MeganC]

Of course it hurts to be called ugly. It's not supposed to be a compliment. But I find that most of the women who constantly pick other girls apart are very insecure about their appearances. I know plenty of women who do this, and trust me, they're nothing special either. As a matter of fact, quite a few they talk about are rather pretty (if not gorgeous).

[Akane]

Depends who's saying it. Some people just look for an insult. Even if it's not true they will say things just to hurt your feelings. You need to consider if those are the type of people your listening to. Anything they say should not be taken seriously or given another thought. The idiots in high school made fun of me for wearing tshirts with horses on them. Since I graduated I've had people in checkout lines and random strangers comment on how cool one of my shirts was. They came up with other stupid things to make fun of me for. Anything about me that was unique and several things that weren't. Those people might as well not have opinions because nothing they say is their own thought. It's whatever will impress the group and make them look better than you. I also do not consider my stepdad's opinion important because alot like the jerks in school he'd say things just to make himself look better. As individuals I mostly blow off what random strangers think. If lots of people are thinking the same thing then you might want to consider if that's the impression you want to leave. Out of all the people in the world though a few are going to think your ugly or odd no matter who you are. That's just how people are.

There are a handful of people who's opinions I do value but they would not call anyone ugly. Remember I said there is going to be some people who find you ugly no matter who you are. Well guess what it works in reverse too. There are going to be some people who find you beautiful no matter what you look like. You just have to find those people. In the end because the people who matter don't care what I look like and I don't care what the idiots think my own opinion is steadily becoming the only opinion that really matters to me. If I think I look fine those that don't think so can go to hell and if I don't like how I look (currently I feel I'm getting rather overweight) then I'm going to work to change it because for bad or good no one alters my opinion of me anymore.

[cynic]

I've been called "disgusting" numerous times

[Gary]

I consider myself goodlookign now but, these kind of things hurt when you think them and if someone outside points it out then they reinforce what you already feared and were trying to run away from

[saillias]

What? Nicola Roberts is beautiful. I used to have the biggest crush on her when that band first came out.

http://www.topnews.in/files/images/Nicola-Roberts.jpg
http://www.topnews.in/files/images/N...Roberts1_0.jpg

Yeah so ugly! No but seriously she's one of the best looking women I've ever seen.

http://wolfet.co.uk/images/wolfet_eu...irls_aloud.jpg

Oh yeah the rest of those girls are so hot... Not. Carbon cobies of every single actress, model, and singer the ever existed.

[kaylarose]

i've been called ugly..i've been called stunning and beautiful... sometimes u just have to look at who is saying it and their intentions.

i know when i had bad acne for example, being called ugly was just a cheap shot when someone was annoyed at me for whatever reason... nobody is really that ugly..sometimes ppl just say it because you're not what society would deem "pretty" or "cool" or perhaps they know ur sensitive to criticism..again, it's just a cheap shot to make u feel bad and bring u down. when infact, the person saying it most probably feels that way about themself or has self esteem issues.

better to be beautiful on the inside anyway, as we all get old in the end...then where will those ppl who called u ugly be left? old and ugly themselves.

[MeganC]

Originally Posted by saillias

What? Nicola Roberts is beautiful. I used to have the biggest crush on her when that band first came out.

http://www.topnews.in/files/images/Nicola-Roberts.jpg
http://www.topnews.in/files/images/N...Roberts1_0.jpg

Yeah so ugly! No but seriously she's one of the best looking women I've ever seen.

http://wolfet.co.uk/images/wolfet_eu...irls_aloud.jpg

Oh yeah the rest of those girls are so hot... Not. Carbon cobies of every single actress, model, and singer the ever existed.

Oh yeah, what a two-bagger!
Now, I'd love to see pictures of the tabloid journalists who have made criticisms. This should be interesting.

[kee]

Obviously, yes.

I had wanted to disfigure the faces of a few dentists for calling me that based on my teeth.

I hate it when sales promoters come up to me asking me to try their facial products, get a haircut. It's like an indirect way of saying I need to fiz something on my appearance. But hey, it's their job.

Today, one lady said "if you're ugly/obese, I won't talk to you". Whoa whoa. But I honestly believe that she was joking.

[pita]

Yeah, it's hurtful.

I'd like to start a pro-ugly movement.