Social Anxiety Support

Smitten · 07-10-2009, 04:38 AM

My sister is really passionate, extremely opinionated and often judgmental. Even if she seemingly has my interests at heart when she is talking to me about something I find the way she expresses herself to be intimidating and I feel defensive. Even if she has a good point I don't really seem to see it and just become really anxious and feel bad in one or another. It often gets to the point where I don't want to be around my sister.

I also feel anxious when people rapidly jump from one topic to another while giving forceful and opinionated comments (which how my sisters and parents seem to communicate)

I was wondering whether anyone else feels anxious around intense/opinionated people???

caflme · 07-10-2009, 05:01 AM

Definitely my Dad and Brothers are this way... I can relate. I like quiet, peaceful conversations that are polite and calm - over coffee preferably.

Aleforge · 07-10-2009, 05:04 AM

Same here, I like open minded calm conversations. I really get uncomfortable when people go over board trying to convince you of their opinions. I think people without SA most likely get anxious and annoyed as well. No one likes to be talked to that way.

radames · 07-10-2009, 11:40 AM

When I show my anger I get really intense looks in my eyes and am very forceful in direct to response to the stress I am feeling at an emotional level. I think that I still have this look when I go outdoors as it is mostly a safety measure to keep others a way. Most people steer clear when they see me marching through a store, but I have found that I have been getting more relaxed as I go out in public to where I look almost sedated but I still have a subtle intensity about me.

Hysteric · 07-10-2009, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aleforge

Same here, I like open minded calm conversations. I really get uncomfortable when people go over board trying to convince you of their opinions. I think people without SA most likely get anxious and annoyed as well. No one likes to be talked to that way.

I agree with this. It frustrates me when people try to force their opinions on me when I clearly don't agree. I get all anxious about what they think of my opinions and will most likely end up agreeing with them in the end. Which in itself is ridiculous.

mrfixit · 07-10-2009, 08:27 PM

my dad and brother are thick skinned (how i use to be..sigh). they intimidate people and people respect them. so yeah, since i have SA when they talk to me i feel intimidated.

Eugenie · 07-11-2009, 03:39 AM

I like people like that. Much more interesting than apathy. Apart from the judgmental bit. And provided they are willing to actually listen to other people as well.

UltraShy · 07-11-2009, 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smitten

I was wondering whether anyone else feels anxious around intense/opinionated people???

I like them as long as their intense opinions agree with my own.

Railroad Cancellation · 07-11-2009, 06:05 AM

Yeah, i've actually lost a couple of potential friendships because of this feeling of being intimidated by these qualities in people.

Sometimes i feel like there is a 'dance' for socially adept people to follow and it often involves some strange kind of 'face off' where extremely deep and eloquent thoughts are expressed in a clear and concise manner. A friend of mine used to interact with his brother this way and it really kind of bothered me that i knew i would never cope if placed in such a situation. I have been once and my anxiety levels boiled over and i suffered from a panic attack, needless to say, i havn't spoken to either him or his brother since. hmph

You can't put too much pressure on yourself to meet the standards involved in these types of situations, especially if it's your own emotional well-being at stake. from my own experience, the best thing is to just go with your gut instinct. I mean, you either feel you belong in the situation (if it's friends) or you're not feeling comfortable and you need to get out of it. But if it's your family you're talking about, you'd likely be better off keeping out of this type of interaction in order to prevent yourself from feeling overly inadequate and/or depressed. But family members often have the capacity to be more understanding and accepting than others within the social circle so that's definately a plus..

I agree though, it's certainly tough to deal with.

07-10-2009, 04:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
Smitten Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Victoria, Australia Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 406	INTENSE People My sister is really passionate, extremely opinionated and often judgmental. Even if she seemingly has my interests at heart when she is talking to me about something I find the way she expresses herself to be intimidating and I feel defensive. Even if she has a good point I don't really seem to see it and just become really anxious and feel bad in one or another. It often gets to the point where I don't want to be around my sister. I also feel anxious when people rapidly jump from one topic to another while giving forceful and opinionated comments (which how my sisters and parents seem to communicate) I was wondering whether anyone else feels anxious around intense/opinionated people???

07-10-2009, 11:40 AM	#4 (permalink)
radames Status: Full circle, new highway Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Neenah, WI Gender: Male Posts: 365	When I show my anger I get really intense looks in my eyes and am very forceful in direct to response to the stress I am feeling at an emotional level. I think that I still have this look when I go outdoors as it is mostly a safety measure to keep others a way. Most people steer clear when they see me marching through a store, but I have found that I have been getting more relaxed as I go out in public to where I look almost sedated but I still have a subtle intensity about me. __________________ What will happen on December 21, 2012? Tick - Tick - Tick - Splat!

07-11-2009, 06:05 AM	#9 (permalink)
Railroad Cancellation Status: Twenty Four Hours Join Date: Oct 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 4,440	Yeah, i've actually lost a couple of potential friendships because of this feeling of being intimidated by these qualities in people. Sometimes i feel like there is a 'dance' for socially adept people to follow and it often involves some strange kind of 'face off' where extremely deep and eloquent thoughts are expressed in a clear and concise manner. A friend of mine used to interact with his brother this way and it really kind of bothered me that i knew i would never cope if placed in such a situation. I have been once and my anxiety levels boiled over and i suffered from a panic attack, needless to say, i havn't spoken to either him or his brother since. hmph You can't put too much pressure on yourself to meet the standards involved in these types of situations, especially if it's your own emotional well-being at stake. from my own experience, the best thing is to just go with your gut instinct. I mean, you either feel you belong in the situation (if it's friends) or you're not feeling comfortable and you need to get out of it. But if it's your family you're talking about, you'd likely be better off keeping out of this type of interaction in order to prevent yourself from feeling overly inadequate and/or depressed. But family members often have the capacity to be more understanding and accepting than others within the social circle so that's definately a plus.. I agree though, it's certainly tough to deal with. __________________ I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine.

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07-10-2009, 05:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
caflme Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 4,843	Definitely my Dad and Brothers are this way... I can relate. I like quiet, peaceful conversations that are polite and calm - over coffee preferably.

07-10-2009, 05:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
Aleforge Status: :No Worries: Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Missouri Gender: Male Age: 33 Posts: 183	Same here, I like open minded calm conversations. I really get uncomfortable when people go over board trying to convince you of their opinions. I think people without SA most likely get anxious and annoyed as well. No one likes to be talked to that way.

07-10-2009, 08:27 PM	#6 (permalink)
mrfixit Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 1,198	my dad and brother are thick skinned (how i use to be..sigh). they intimidate people and people respect them. so yeah, since i have SA when they talk to me i feel intimidated.

07-11-2009, 03:39 AM	#7 (permalink)
Eugenie Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 191	I like people like that. Much more interesting than apathy. Apart from the judgmental bit. And provided they are willing to actually listen to other people as well.