I'm really depressed.

[clp]

I want more love in my life. I want romance, passion, love, fulfillment, peace, contentment.

I want friendship. I want a job where I enjoy what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with (like Ellen's old show from the nineties where she worked with her friends at the Buy the Book bookstore, for example.)

Life is strange and upside down. There are people out there who could charm the pants off of ANYONE and they do such horrible, cruel things to others behind closed doors. I'm a good, honest, even compassionate person, and yet, I've been stripped of the ability to build relationships or go out into the world to make a difference in the lives of the less fortunate.

I am trying right now to makes changes in my life. I've taken two major steps today, as a matter of fact. But, I can't help but be a pessimist.

If anyone is wondering, I took that liebowitz test and I scored 112. I'm officially "severely social phobic." No news to me though.

I am at the point in my life where I can't postpone my life plans anymore. I have to start trying my absolute best in searching for a "cure" for my problem. I'm gonna lose my last 10 lbs, purify my diet and adding green smoothies, adding omega-3's, etc. etc. ANYTHING. I just bought a bottle of l-tryptophan but now I wonder if I can use it while taking prozac(I just started this medication a couple of weeks ago.)

Bad things do happen to good people. And from what I've seen, plently of wonderful things happen to bad people. I hate this world.

[rcapo89]

Originally Posted by clp

I want more love in my life. I want romance, passion, love, fulfillment, peace, contentment.

I want friendship. I want a job where I enjoy what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with (like Ellen's old show from the nineties where she worked with her friends at the Buy the Book bookstore, for example.)

Life is strange and upside down. There are people out there who could charm the pants off of ANYONE and they do such horrible, cruel things to others behind closed doors. I'm a good, honest, even compassionate person, and yet, I've been stripped of the ability to build relationships or go out into the world to make a difference in the lives of the less fortunate.

I am trying right now to makes changes in my life. I've taken two major steps today, as a matter of fact. But, I can't help but be a pessimist.

If anyone is wondering, I took that liebowitz test and I scored 112. I'm officially "severely social phobic." No news to me though.

I am at the point in my life where I can't postpone my life plans anymore. I have to start trying my absolute best in searching for a "cure" for my problem. I'm gonna lose my last 10 lbs, purify my diet and adding green smoothies, adding omega-3's, etc. etc. ANYTHING. I just bought a bottle of l-tryptophan but now I wonder if I can use it while taking prozac(I just started this medication a couple of weeks ago.)

Bad things do happen to good people. And from what I've seen, plently of wonderful things happen to bad people. I hate this world.

Wow I agree with everything you've written and I must say your extremely articulate. The world is such a random, chaotic, and cruel place. I sometimes fall into despair when I look at the sad state of our existence, believing this cruelty and suffering will never end...
But don't give up and let SA win, your not alone.
What are the two major steps you made to change your life?

[justiss282]

I couldn't have said it better myself, especially this part "There are people out there who could charm the pants off of ANYONE and they do such horrible, cruel things to others behind closed doors." This is something I've seen first hand and it tends to really make me mad. I've known people who treat others horribly but in turn get everything they want in life, karma apparently has no effect on them. The world really does suck badly sometimes, but from what I've read you're really making progress and that's a good thing. Every little step makes a difference.

[odd_one_out]

I hope you eventually obtain what you are looking for.

[stinky]

Originally Posted by justiss282

I couldn't have said it better myself, especially this part "There are people out there who could charm the pants off of ANYONE and they do such horrible, cruel things to others behind closed doors." This is something I've seen first hand and it tends to really make me mad. I've known people who treat others horribly but in turn get everything they want in life, karma apparently has no effect on them. The world really does suck badly sometimes, but from what I've read you're really making progress and that's a good thing. Every little step makes a difference.

i think that a lot of times ppl are "good" b/c of the bad stuff that has happened to them, so they value some things a LOT more. whereas if you're egotistical, then everything good happens to you, so who cares about others?