im confident as hell then im so shy i cant even open my mouth - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 08:58 AM Thread Starter
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im confident as hell then im so shy i cant even open my mouth

Is any one else like this...

Sometimes when talking to people i am great i can start convosation and realx. I can laugh and can be quite loud when talking even in a loud group even 20 plus with guys and girls. I can be the person who talks the most and who people like to talk to. sounds great dosent it? ye well here it comes.

This is only about 10-20% of the time if that. The rest of the time i am shy and my mouth dries up and i cant even say a word.

So people get the impression i am this really talkative guy so they start talking to me. But then when im in that other %80 im shy and cant even talk.
People say to me whats wrong with you today?


So what do you think. I wish soo much i could be in that 10% all the time.
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 09:16 AM
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Yeah, I am very much like that. Really just depends on my mood, the conversation topic and who's involved. Even with friends of 20+ years who I would trust my life with, I can still just go dead in a conversation and let it go on around me. I can just stand a listen for ages with no inclination to say anything. Not necessarily because I don't want to, I just sometimes don't know what to say. I think as most of my friends have know me for so long they are used to it.
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 09:20 AM
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Your probably like that because your knowledgeable on the topic at hand and can add to the topic. If the topic is about something you don't know much about, then little can be said. right??

THINK that's normal for everyone
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 09:27 AM Thread Starter
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I see what your saying but no, its not like that. Even if i know the topic really well i still fall into that zone. Its like even when there is no topic and im just walking around saying hi to people. When im in that zone im great at it but when not i am shy as hell.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 09:29 AM
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Maybe sometimes but others I'll just let conversations go on around me and I just zone out a bit. Happened a couple of Friday's ago and I just found myself standing there part of a conversation but at the same time not part of it at all.

Can't really explain it; I'm just always very conscious when it happens. At times I'll pay active interest in what they are talking about, others I'll just go off into my own little world until they say something that pulls me out of it.

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Your probably like that because your knowledgeable on the topic at hand and can add to the topic. If the topic is about something you don't know much about, then little can be said. right??

THINK that's normal for everyone
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 09:33 AM Thread Starter
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@Analyst

Im not diagnosing you here but i am like this too. I am being tested for ADD on the 10th of feb.

Do you know much about ADD? Sound allot like it.
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 09:45 AM
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I'm a little bit like you.

99.9% of the time I'm shy but every few months or so I have a day or two where I'm feeling much more happy/confident than normal...it's weird.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 09:48 AM
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Don't know that much about it but my mum works with children with special needs so have obviously heard bits and pieces. It wasn't really heard of when I was in school. I went to grammar school so as long as your grades were ok and you weren't disruptive nothing much was said to you.

Thinking back now, the only people I really know that were actively behaviour managed were those that simply didn't behave.

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@Analyst

Im not diagnosing you here but i am like this too. I am being tested for ADD on the 10th of feb.

Do you know much about ADD? Sound allot like it.
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 10:44 AM
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I so been like that too! There will be moments when suddenly I'm confident and I say stuff and it seems all cool. But there's times where I'm feeling extra angst that Im so afraid to even talk. I catch myself doing this so for the sake of people not thinking I'm weird, I will try with all my mind to just appear 'laid-back' 100% of the time. So later on I won't be beating myself up for whatever stupid thing I did. I've gotten positive responses by just chilling out... Like that quote that was on here, about feeling the need to "perform" for people instead of just chilling out and bring calm. It's made things SO much better for me!
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 11:11 AM
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Wow this is exactly how i am.I can talk about certain subjects and after that i cant find much to talk about especially when my anxieties kick in although im fine after a few drinks inside me,most of the time im shy though
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 11:13 AM
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Yeah, sometimes, but im not loud, there are times where i feel like talking and times where i just want to be the shy kid again.
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 12:11 PM
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Are you faking your confidence? Maybe you need to be more real and accually have a reason to be confident and talkative.
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 02:18 PM
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I think dragons is right,i do that alot.If i see someone in town i automatically try to be this happy go lucky guy when all i feel is misery cos people dont see me as that type of person
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 02:26 PM
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Maybe you're a bit like me: Once I get to know a new person I speak a lot, I am very open, smily etc.. but then once I get to know them, I kind of lose the interest of them and I question myself on: About what should I chat with her/him? I already asked them all questions..
It's definitely a problem of mine. I start well, and then it goes down.
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 03:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joline View Post
Maybe you're a bit like me: Once I get to know a new person I speak a lot, I am very open, smily etc.. but then once I get to know them, I kind of lose the interest of them and I question myself on: About what should I chat with her/him? I already asked them all questions..
It's definitely a problem of mine. I start well, and then it goes down.
Yes I have this feeling too. Which is why my best friendship are those that start really awkward and quiet.
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