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Old 10-28-2010, 01:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default I'm ashamed of my life

Ashamed of my life, or better said lack of life.
I don't know why I tell you this, but feel its getting harder and harder to overcome this SA thing. The older I get the more serious questions I get why I don't move on with life. It hurts.
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Old 10-28-2010, 03:14 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Sometimes getting better feels like getting worse. You have to understand your predicament to overcome it. When you finally understand whats going on it can hit you hard and kill your mood, make you feel like your going crazy. But your really getting better because your understanding the situation fully for the first time.
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Old 10-28-2010, 03:25 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by dutchguy View Post
Ashamed of my life, or better said lack of life.
I don't know why I tell you this, but feel its getting harder and harder to overcome this SA thing. The older I get the more serious questions I get why I don't move on with life. It hurts.
I'm the same. With every year that passes, I keep asking myself why I haven't yet "grown out" of my SA. My life is very different from others my age, who've already graduated college (I never started, thanks to SA), and have at least a few good friends to hang out with. I'm so far behind.
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Old 10-28-2010, 04:39 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Ashamed of my life, or better said lack of life.
I don't know why I tell you this, but feel its getting harder and harder to overcome this SA thing. The older I get the more serious questions I get why I don't move on with life. It hurts.
I feel the same way. When I was younger, social anxiety wasn't as big of a problem though it negatively affected every aspect of my life. Sure, I didn't have friends and avoided socializing...but now as an adult I still have social anxiety and on top of that bills, no real hope for a job, and acute awareness that time is going by and I'm doing nothing. Part of the reason why I went to college was to buy myself time, so to speak; I wanted to delay entering the "real world" where I'd have to get a job and work with people. I always thought, I'll get over this before I graduate. Well, college came and went. And my social anxiety is...the same. I have no friends, I don't go out, and I don't have a job. I am dependent on my parents for many things; they are pretty much my sole source of socialization, they help out financially, etc. When I was in my early twenties and in college, I didn't feel so bad about not having a job and not being independent...it's totally acceptable for a college student to be unemployed and financially dependent on their parents. But I'm 25 now...most people my age are in grad school or have careers. I feel ashamed that I don't have a job, and instead of shame prompting me to secure employment, it just makes me want to hide under the covers and sleep all day. I'm so used to living with my parents and they haven't really pressured me to get a job or anything, so I never felt like I needed to change. I intended on getting around to it someday, to be sure, but when you're being supported by others and it seems like everyone's okay with that arrangement, there's no urgent need to change.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my social anxiety...turning 25 was a big turning point. A quarter of a century: that's a huge milestone. Now, I feel ashamed when I wake up past noon and stay in my pajamas all day. I feel guilty when I'm out in the livingroom watching tv with my parents...I feel like I should be out working, not lying on the couch. I wish I was working...not just for the money (though I need that), but also for the sense of accomplishment that comes from having a job and being productive. From past experience, I have come to realize that things don't change unless you take steps toward making that change. Sounds too obvious, I know, but for years I kind of believed that this social anxiety would go away on its own with no intervention. Reality hit me on the head recently and I started thinking objectively about my life. Right now, I'm trying to get myself to a state, emotionally speaking, to seek help. I can't sustain this dependent way of life forever, and I know therapy is going to be really hard...but I have to change. I don't want to be in the same situation five years from now, reiterating everything in a post on this forum.
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Old 10-28-2010, 06:17 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I feel the same way. When I was younger, social anxiety wasn't as big of a problem though it negatively affected every aspect of my life. Sure, I didn't have friends and avoided socializing...but now as an adult I still have social anxiety and on top of that bills, no real hope for a job, and acute awareness that time is going by and I'm doing nothing. Part of the reason why I went to college was to buy myself time, so to speak; I wanted to delay entering the "real world" where I'd have to get a job and work with people. I always thought, I'll get over this before I graduate. Well, college came and went. And my social anxiety is...the same. I have no friends, I don't go out, and I don't have a job. I am dependent on my parents for many things; they are pretty much my sole source of socialization, they help out financially, etc. When I was in my early twenties and in college, I didn't feel so bad about not having a job and not being independent...it's totally acceptable for a college student to be unemployed and financially dependent on their parents. But I'm 25 now...most people my age are in grad school or have careers. I feel ashamed that I don't have a job, and instead of shame prompting me to secure employment, it just makes me want to hide under the covers and sleep all day. I'm so used to living with my parents and they haven't really pressured me to get a job or anything, so I never felt like I needed to change. I intended on getting around to it someday, to be sure, but when you're being supported by others and it seems like everyone's okay with that arrangement, there's no urgent need to change.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my social anxiety...turning 25 was a big turning point. A quarter of a century: that's a huge milestone. Now, I feel ashamed when I wake up past noon and stay in my pajamas all day. I feel guilty when I'm out in the livingroom watching tv with my parents...I feel like I should be out working, not lying on the couch. I wish I was working...not just for the money (though I need that), but also for the sense of accomplishment that comes from having a job and being productive. From past experience, I have come to realize that things don't change unless you take steps toward making that change. Sounds too obvious, I know, but for years I kind of believed that this social anxiety would go away on its own with no intervention. Reality hit me on the head recently and I started thinking objectively about my life. Right now, I'm trying to get myself to a state, emotionally speaking, to seek help. I can't sustain this dependent way of life forever, and I know therapy is going to be really hard...but I have to change. I don't want to be in the same situation five years from now, reiterating everything in a post on this forum.
I can totally relate to your feelings, and those of the OP. I also went to university to buy time and had a horrible 6-months of unemployment following. Unfortunately my parents were never understanding. I ended up getting a ****ty low-wage job (which I'm still at), and rent my own place, but I'd honestly rather be in your position with some supportive parents. It's absolutely humiliating being a graduate, working such a lowly job whilst being ridiculed by others at work... and almost being 30. I'm really losing my ****.

Like you, I think I really need to seek help ASAP. Just take 6 months off or something and focus full-time on saving my life.
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Old 10-28-2010, 06:22 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Social anxiety is a bit like a scab. The worse it looks the better it's getting, until it finally disappears completely. That's assuming it's not infected, in which case it'll keep getting worse until they have to cut your leg off. But maybe I'm getting too into this analogy. The point is, when you get a cut, you have to put a plaster on it. Wait... ahh forget it.
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Old 10-28-2010, 07:11 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I have been playing this lately. It looks SO real, and is so much better than the real world.
http://secondlife.com/
Yes, its come to that ! but idc
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Old 10-28-2010, 11:20 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Thank you for the reactions, When I was a teenager I also hoped that SA will go away with the years, but on the other hand I knew this wasn't really realistic thinking.

The last couple of years I was of course having problems with SA but somehow I was also a bit emotion-less, witch carried me true the years. But now I'm really feeling the pressure that I need to fix it and I'm getting really sad about my situation. I also realize I need other people. I was always looking for ways to do things all on my own. But I cant escape I guess.

Maybe thats it, I realize I cant escape.
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Old 10-28-2010, 11:28 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by kid a View Post
I have been playing this lately. It looks SO real, and is so much better than the real world.
http://secondlife.com/
Yes, its come to that ! but idc
It just sucks that you have to pay real $ for things in game. I just ended up flying around places
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I don't like scales. If you can imagine what a model looks like, then that's me.

And not some cheap ***** amateur "model" at 5'6 with average feautures just using their youth and body to make their worth seem inflated.

Like, an actual model.
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Old 10-28-2010, 12:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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It just sucks that you have to pay real $ for things in game. I just ended up flying around places
ummmm you can earn money there buy getting jobs and such or creating things and selling them... i been there 3.5 years

to the OP. I feel the same as you people say "you must be lonely..." um no? im kinda comfy this way thanks o.0 makes me not want to tell people at all
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Old 10-28-2010, 01:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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ummmm you can earn money there buy getting jobs and such or creating things and selling them... i been there 3.5 years
How far can you get in the game without having to spend real money?
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Originally Posted by calichick View Post
I don't like scales. If you can imagine what a model looks like, then that's me.

And not some cheap ***** amateur "model" at 5'6 with average feautures just using their youth and body to make their worth seem inflated.

Like, an actual model.
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