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Ignoring as a bullying tactic

4K views 33 replies 14 participants last post by  SwtSurrender 
#1 ·
#3 ·
Yes...I experienced this from one individual, inexplicably, when I joined my first EMS organization. I just couldn't understand why he didn't even acknowledge a simple good morning choosing to walk right past. He's still a bit standoffish, with me though gregarious with others.

The referenced article had this important statement about coping "If you accept the fact that you are being ignored no matter how good of a person you are, it will make it easier."

This dovetails with advice I regularly give to others here. You can't control how someone thinks, feels, or behaves. You can do your best to influence it, but not control it. So, while the "get over it" is a bit harsh, I think there is a flavor of it in the acceptance that you won't be able to change someone's behavior towards you if that is their intent.

So, if "get over it" is synonymous with "accept it, and move on", then so be it.
 
#8 ·
I only think ignoring is bullying if you are hanging out with your "friends" and they are having a conversation and whenever you try to contribute to the conversation, they don't aknowledge what you said, they change the subject they talk over you and leave you out the conversation completely, and if they don't invite you somewhere, I consider it a bullying of false friendship. When strangers ignore each other, nothing wrong with that. Its just mean to ignore a friend. Also its kind of mean when a stranger tries to be nice to someone and they ignore them too, but I wouldn't call that bullying, just rude.
 
#9 ·
Whenever I ignore my bullies they just keep coming at me harder and harder until I do something back. That's just me, though. Retaliation is better in the long run in my opinion. Knock a guy square in the nose in front of a crowd, he wont mess with you anymore.
 
#16 ·
It's never worked on me :)

If you want to ignore me, then...bye, see ya.

Most of the time when I've been ignored, it comes from people who actually think they're significant enough in my life that I would actually care.

Nope.
 
#22 ·
It's never worked on me :)

If you want to ignore me, then...bye, see ya.

Most of the time when I've been ignored, it comes from people who actually think they're significant enough in my life that I would actually care.

Nope.
It sucks when its from people who you THINK are your friends. And they do this to you for a long time. But you would know they are crappy friends and leave them when you knew they would be like this. Sometimes you are so lonely that you want them as friends for the time being, but they continue to treat you like that. :(
 
#17 ·
I think it 100% depends on the context.

I feel like this article and thread might convince people on this forum that "Hey, that chick who you wanted to chat up who didn't respond? Yeah, she was totally bullying and abusing you, what a horrible person, you're a victim of bullying" or really any other absurd example like that.

I always stand by that you don't owe your time and attention to anyone really, aside from maybe family and romantic partners. The freedom to selectively choose when to reply and when not to is a necessary social mechanism to avoid getting used by people you're cautious about, as well as people you generally just don't feel a connection with. Besides, feeling entitled to someone's attention is..... not healthy

But I feel most of the examples the article highlighted are fair, and it can be a tactic of bullying. I experienced it a lot in my middle school days, when sitting in a group. Everyone would be chatting, listening to each other, joking etc. Then I tried to add something and it would only be followed by "Oh", and an awkward silence. Sometimes not even that, sometimes they'd just keep talking until i repeated myself over and over, and in worse cases, they'd just laugh at me amongst themselves, not look me in the eye, and continue talking among themselves. One of the main reasons I can't handle groups now
 
#23 ·
I think it 100% depends on the context.

I feel like this article and thread might convince people on this forum that "Hey, that chick who you wanted to chat up who didn't respond? Yeah, she was totally bullying and abusing you, what a horrible person, you're a victim of bullying" or really any other absurd example like that.

I always stand by that you don't owe your time and attention to anyone really, aside from maybe family and romantic partners. The freedom to selectively choose when to reply and when not to is a necessary social mechanism to avoid getting used by people you're cautious about, as well as people you generally just don't feel a connection with. Besides, feeling entitled to someone's attention is..... not healthy

But I feel most of the examples the article highlighted are fair, and it can be a tactic of bullying. I experienced it a lot in my middle school days, when sitting in a group. Everyone would be chatting, listening to each other, joking etc. Then I tried to add something and it would only be followed by "Oh, and an awkward silence. Sometimes not even that, sometimes they'd just keep talking until i repeated myself over and over, and in worse cases, they'd just laugh at me amongst themselves, not look me in the eye, and continue talking among themselves. One of the main reasons I can't handle groups now
I myself only consider that to be very mild bullying if it is your "friends" in a group who continue to ignore whatever you are saying in the conversation and they laugh or don't reply or change the subject all together whenever you say something. And they are **** friends to begin with.
As for a girl ignoring your message, that is not bullying, she is just not interested. Strangers ignore each other anyway, its dumb to say that that is bullying. Its just mean for friends to do that to someone they are supposed to be friends with.
 
#19 ·
Yeah it sucks when you're trying to talk to a person, or get involved in a group discussion, and you say something, and nobody looks at you or responds. But they do for others.

That's when you know you're dealing with a clique and are wasting your time.
 
#29 ·
I think giving someone the cold shoulder can be considered bullying but there is a very fine line between bullying and legitimate reasons (ie. maybe ignoring someone you don't want in your life that doesn't get the message).
I consider only consider it mild bullying if it is done by people who are supposed to be your friends. And they purposely ignore you in a group conversation when you are trying to add to it, and all they do is ignore whatever you say.
 
#32 ·
I have experienced this quite a lot in my life in various ways. I think with regards to even strangers, it can be downright rude to just completely ignore someone in certain circumstances. I have had incidents where a group of strangers have made a point to interact with everyone in my group of friends but not even make eye contact with me, as if I'm not even there. Whatever you call it, I think it's rude and most people would find it insulting. Personally I tend to just see these people as ***-holes I would't want to associate with anyway. If you are genuinely shy, then that is something else, I would say your intention matters a lot, but it certainly can be a bullying tactic in some instances.
 
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