Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

I was humiliated yesterday

3K views 21 replies 18 participants last post by  Desperate 
#1 ·
I was humiliated by my dad's friend as well as my dad.
I was asked the question do I go to nightclubs as well as why not when I said no.
He thought I was weird, I could tell, and I bet he had a chuckle inside himself. It hurt so much to hear that question. I couldnt lie cos my dad was there.
I might go to nightclubs if i had people to go with. I really dont think there's much weird about me. It's just I havent had much luck in the friends department, just like my dad's friend hasn't had much luck in the finances dept. School was f'ed, uni wasnt much better, Ive had anxiety and shyness cos I was teased and that why im in this current position.
I dont like it but Im trying to fix things out and get better.
 
#2 ·
when people ask me why i dont go to nightclubs i just reply by saying that i simply dont like the environment, which is the truth. A lot of people dont go to night clubs because they just dont like it or their beliefs. I dont find it fun to go dance around strangers and get wasted just to be taking advantage of by some guy. It is not strange that you dont go.
 
#22 ·
Agree.. Also, when people ask me why I don't go to parties much or night clubs, I tell them I'm not that kind of girl and I'd rather read a book(lol). There are a lot of things to kill boredom as long as you don't let your SA get too much in the way.. Try to step out of your comfort zone, once in a while and always stay positive!!!:)
 
#6 ·
I don't go to night clubs either and wouldn't want to go even if I had lots of friends. It's not my sort of thing. I don't have time for it anyway cos of university. So behind and haven't done much at all. The next few days will be very filled up for me. Anyway, you should just tell them to mind their own business.
 
#9 ·
I hate that question...I usually just deflect it or change the topic. Nightclubs are overrated...you're usually not going to find long-term relationship material at a nightclub.
 
#11 ·
I found my LTR at a nightclub! But that's probably pretty unusual, I grant you.

To the OP, I was frustrated for ages about having no-one to go out with, but then I was lucky enough to make one friend who would go clubbing with me, and it was great. Don't give up hope. And it's nobody else's business whether you go out or not!
 
#12 ·
I hate how all young people are expected to go to nightclubs and take ecstasy and party all night like lunatics.
I know this crap about "sowing your wild oats" but its no excuse to go absolutely crazy.
He is probably just bitter because he is too old to party like he used to and thinks your crazy for passing up the opportunity.
 
#13 ·
Ah screw it. Lots of people don't like to go...even extroverts. Around here you have to wait in the rain for an hour...in the freezing cold, in order to have the privilege to go inside, be patted down, pay 15 dollars to stand around and then have the privilege to buy an 8 dollar bottle of beer.

Then what?
Screw it.

But I talk big on this, but when my family or family friends do that, I feel so low.
 
#14 ·
I don't like night clubs, they have never appealed to me. Just because most young people go and get wasted it doesn't mean that we are all the same. I used to feel a loser because i felt like the only person not out on Friday and Saturday nights, but not anymore. I have the free will to do what i like and getting wasted is not something i want to do. Atleast i have money to spend on things other than on booze and drugs.
 
#15 ·
If someone is asking me questions about myself and looking at me like I'm SO weird b/c of my answer, then I just start asking them questions... 'what's so great about nightclubs anyway? Do you go?' You don't have to explain it to them, so deflect the attention. Chances are they weren't trying to humiliate you.
 
#17 ·
I understand why you would feel threatened when someone asks you this but I don't think it helps to be defensive about it. Most likely they are genuinely curious or just making conversation and are not out to intentionally humiliate you. I've been asked this before and I just smile and say, "I don't know, I've just never had a reason to go I guess." They might just leave it at that or ask something like what do you do for fun instead (which is a harder question, for me anyway). One time the person was even like, "Really? You should come with us sometime!" I never did, but I think it's a positive response nonetheless.
 
#18 ·
You have every right and every reason to like what you want and what you dont.
Night clubs are not the antz pantz. One time I was in one and every step I took my feet were sticking to the carpet, what does that tell you. EEWWhh.

You can still have integrity and style with your own likes and dislikes. Poeple need to respect the diversity of people.
 
#21 ·
I used to go to nightclubs a lot when I was younger only because I was pressured to go. I felt so uncomfortable I would get blind drunk and usually make an *** out of myself. In retrospect it was definately not worth it. Along the way I learned a few coping skills, one being the "white lie". I don't condone lying, but dealing with people that don't understand SA, it sometimes makes things a little easier. When I finally decided to stop going to nightclubs I would just say the loud music hurts my ears (which is partially true) or I can't really afford the cover charge and expensive drinks (which is also partially true).
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top