Remember "Oldschool" when Will Ferrell gets shot in the neck with a tranquilizer and everything turns into slow motion? I need that!
Okay serious now. Quick facts. I'm 32, depression, anxiety, male, 5'8", 155 lbs.
I'm suffering from severe anxiety and depression since the age of 20 (12 years). Been on and off all of the pills. Most of them break my dick and the only one that doesn't just makes me really fat. None of them ever worked that great for anxiety (more depression), except for Mirtazapine. My latest doctor prescribed me massive doses of xanax and other stuff. The xanax eventually stopped working and the withdrawal was the worst year of my life. Now I am on NO meds at all. I am a recluse and avoid any type of public speaking, social events etc. Although you'd never be able to tell by looking at me. I look normal, go to work every day, and act normal. Until the anxiety kicks in and the sweat starts pouring.
I have both General and Social Anxiety. On a bad year this means severe hyperhydrosis. I am one of those people that has very very visible panic attacks because my anxiety makes my head like 200 degrees and I can start sweating as if I was running a marathon in 90 degree heat. It's fascinating and horrifying at the same time. I can look like I just came out of the pool within 5 minutes of an attack and this means that I cannot attend social functions. The other type of hyperhydrosis is through my arm pits so it can be one or the other or both and I can turn the armpits of a shirt into a wet rag. It could be 50 degrees and to me it feels like being in disney world in Florida @105 F degrees.
Last year I tried to be super fit and healthy. Stopped drinking and biked 3,000 miles 2016 and it didn't do anything. Still as bad as ever. Work out all the time.
Medication doesn't seem to work for me and a healthy, athletic lifestyle does nothing to help either.
Anyway, I don't want to rehash my entire history because that's not the point of the post. I need help for brother's wedding. It will be next April so I have some time to prepare.
This is not just any ordinary wedding. It will have everyone I've ever known in one place. Mom's side, dad's side, people from high school, childhood. People are going to want to catch up and ask me all about my life. After all, I'm only the grooms TWIN BROTHER. So I can't just sit in a corner and just ignore everyone.
So I already know that without medication I will not be able to attend this wedding. It's a year away and I'm already sick to my stomach every day thinking about it. My life is not going well right now so the idea of having to "fake" how things are going makes the situation worse. No girlfriend, a career i hate, severe mental health issues.
It's tough. I'm proud of my brother and want to support him, but it just looks like I'm jealous and angry when the reality is that's not the case at all. I want to go and be happy and look happy and support him but I CAN'T, because I have no control over my anxiety.
Is there any type of tranquilizer I can ask my doctor that can make me like half-vegetable for a day? I just need to feel like I'm lobotomized. I know it sounds like a joke doesn't it. Sad.
Severe anxiety/depression --> panic attacks w/ severe hyperhydrosis (head & arm pits) ----> twin brothers wedding in 1 year ---> everyone I have ever known will be there and life is not going well and anxiety is at all time high will not be able to function without a heavy sedative ---> been on several anti-depressants and xanax (don't work) ---> 1 day tranquilizer available?
"Why don't you ask your doctor?" Because unfortunately I live in America lol.