I'm at home alone and I'm constantly getting anxious, scared to go out. Any advice? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-04-2013, 11:03 AM Thread Starter
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I'm at home alone and I'm constantly getting anxious, scared to go out. Any advice?

I feel really pathetic at the moment. I am alone in the house until Saturday, but I've managed 4 days alone (since Saturday) so far. I just continue to get anxious and I hate the thought of leaving the house to get the bus.

My friend wanted to meet up tomorrow, but again, I'm worried about getting the bus. I am currently trying to avoid a couple people who I don't want to speak to, so I'm anxious about bumping into them on the bus if I go out.

I am unemployed now as well, so this doesn't help as I have absolutely nothing to do during the days. I have totally lost all my motivation, but I want to find more work. I think not being able to work any more has made me feel worse too.

I don't want to be stuck in the house, but I have no choice at the moment unless I get the bus, which I have no other option but to do. I won't get a taxi as it will cost way too much!

Any advice?
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-04-2013, 03:34 PM
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It was on one motivationvideo that you get things done easier if you think about the whole task ahead in little parts and concentrate on that little part at the time. And start doing. Like getting to the bus; 1. Get things ready 2. Put outdoor clothing on 3. walk to the busstop 4. wait for the bus 5. step into the bus 6. Pay 7. Sit somewhere or stand 8. Push the button when you want to get off 9. Get off and go where you need to be. See how far you get yourself. I have found that helpful.

Even if you bump into those people you dont have speak to them? Put some earphones on and act like you dont see or hear anything. Do not feed the habit of avoiding (some) people. Its just gets you in deeper in to the hole. You have every right to be where ever you are.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-04-2013, 04:05 PM
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I am in a similar situation, stuck inside, no work and only friend cancels on me.

Easier said than done, but I think you should set small goals. Walk to the park, or a few blocks. Then the next day, walk 3 or 4 blocks until you are walking a mile. Then, as small an accomplishment as it sounds, at least it is something.

I also don't like running into neighbors or people I know in my neighborhood. The thing I do that is bad is look for people I don't want to see. Then when I see them my anxiety is through the roof. Usually, the situation is never that bad that it is worth avoiding.

No one is trying to kill me or stalk me, so all the other awkwardness or stress of running into someone is pretty irrelevant when you think about it.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-04-2013, 04:37 PM
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I've definitely been in that situation before. With BDD, I used to isolate myself in my room all day for days because I felt I was too fat and ugly to be seen by other people. I skipped classes, missed work, and passed on hanging out with friends because I was too self conscious about how I looked.

One day, I eventually had to take out the trash to the dump outside my apartment complex. It was the strangest feeling walking outside in the sunlight, but it felt amazing and freeing. It was a super short walk, but it was that super small baby step outside that made me feel like it wasn't that scary being outside. It reminded me of how nice it was to be out of the house, and it made me want to be outside a little more.

Make it a goal to just take that one first step. The journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step after all. Eventually, you can progress to being outside and being around people longer and more comfortably.

Also, it helps to stop thinking so much about what you want to do, and just do it. I had the hardest time getting back into exercising after I fell into my slump of staying indoors for days, so one day I just sucked it up, changed into my running clothes, and forced myself out the door before I could talk myself out of it. I started running, and there was no turning back. The anticipation and fear we build up in our minds is something we can overcome if we just stop overthinking and do more.

Good luck with everything!
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