I'm a cashier! here are some stupid things I do... - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-30-2006, 08:49 PM Thread Starter
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I'm a cashier! here are some stupid things I do...

I'm a cashier at a well-known department store. My job's a job, I'm not going to complain. It's just some money to get me through my last year of high school.

My job doesn't make me nervous, at all. There's something about myself that I don't understand, and I'm not sure of it's SA or not. People will talk to me or say something and I just never know what to say, and I'm brain storming the "right" thing to say, or the most "crowd-pleasing thing"

I always agree with people too. It's like I don't have my own opinion. I'm so easily convinced. I'm never sure of myself.

Sometimes I wonder if it's possible that I don't have a personality? or an identity?? This scares me beyond belief... I mean, I have friends who I could describe in a few words, and if I said these words to someone else, they would know exactly who I'm talking about. But how do I describe my personality?? I really don't know.

People will talk to me at the cash register and usually I'll just laugh. Lately I've been forcing myself to say something at least besides "yeah" or "for sure". I always say safe things, like if someone says "oh, these are a great price eh?" I'll be like "yeah, can't go wrong for that price" or if someone says "nice sweaters you have here" ill be like "Oh yeah... I think so too"

And its always premedatated (sp?) when I say these things. When I talk to anyone (not just at work), I feel like I'm inconveniencing them or wasting their time, which I know is common with a lot of people who Have SA. I know I don't have a lot of SA (I used to have it bad as a kid until I learned a lot from my old best friend)... like I usually never get nervous... only sometimes.

But then I think maybe I do have SA. I work in a town 15 minutes away from the one I live in (I live in a small town and it's hard to find a job), if I see anyone from my town, I'll avoid them at all costs. Like today for example I saw someone I knew and I walked away from the cash register and made it look like I was busy doing something just so they wouldn't come over.

I also get SA only around certain people. There is this one security guard at my work, who I am not attracted to at all, but he just makes me nervous. I always feel like he sees through me, I can't explain it. When he comes through, I start heating up and feeling sick. This always happens when a hot guy comes through (sometimes even when Im not hardly even attraced to the guy). I just don't know what it is.

Also, I get really nervous around my co-op teacher. its so bizarre. I am so comfortable with my world issues teacher but not this guy. But its not that I dont like him, he has a great personality and I think hes funny, but there is something unnerving about him that makes me anxious. I feel like me doing co-op in his class was something I obligated him into doing. I always feel like I'm a nuisance because he needs to find things for me to do. I know this is probably irrational.

so what is up with me?? It's like I don't have a personality... the personality I have now is just something that conforms to each person individually to what would sound right to them. Thats usually why I just agree with everyone.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-30-2006, 09:16 PM
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You definitley do have SA

Its definitley fixable.

And yes this definitley sounds like me a over a year ago.

Good news if you work on it it does get better. You will develop a personality. You will find yourself and your identity. And you will be a fun person to be around. It will take some time. There will be pain involved. It is worth it.

Theres some sticking points you do have.

Confidence sounds like one of them. Finding some hobbies that involve people will help you with that as well as finding your identity as well as building your comfort zone. Find out who you want to be, what you want to give to the world, and things you like to do.

Social Skills. It sounds like you do need to develop these as well. To be able to approach and vibe with people is a skill that people take forgrantted. Its kind of expected that you know this and you can tell if someone doesnt have it. It is definitley learnable. I had to meet with people as well as read a lot about social dynamics and then applied them. Still working on this now but once you get this down you will feel so much better. If you can have positive interactions with people you wont run away from them but instead approach them.

Theres a lot of irrational thinking like you said and I would guess depression because thats what a lot of people go through on this board. Its hard to write out how to go through all of this stuff cuz it just kind of happens once you get the ball rolling and if it doesnt roll then it sucks.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-30-2006, 09:21 PM
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 05:58 AM
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I used to be a hotel porter. I used to do the exact same routine everytime I took someone to thier room with luggage or did a room show so did most of the other managers. Theres nothing wrong with that. You just gotta be careful you don't repeat it on the same person else it might seem a bit weird :P

The only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 03:46 PM
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I feel the same way you do... in respect to the feeling worse SA only with certain people. The most amazing thing I've learnt about SA is that it is extremely diverse, and different people in different situations experience different aspects of SA! My ex-bf didn't have his own personality, whenever he would talk to different people, he would sort of "mold" himself to talk like they did, think the same things they do, etc. even though those were not necessarily the things he really thought or believed in. He didn't suffer from SA but had issues with depression and confidence.

"It is better to be envied than pitied." - Herodotus
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-14-2014, 06:00 PM
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Your replies to the customers are fine, what anyone would reply. They're not expecting a full blown conversation, and you'd have to agree with them anyway about prices/how nice the clothes are anyway, since you work there, right? I think you're just overthinking it
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