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Old 02-19-2009, 09:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default I feel like life is passing me by...

I feel like everyone around me is progressing while I'm stuck at home. I worry a ****load about my future and question whether life is even worth living sometimes. I just feel like a total failure everyday and its driving me ****ing insane.

Anyone else feel like this?
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Old 02-19-2009, 09:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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oh yea plenty of times.
i usually feel like everything around me is moving and i'm at a stand still
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Old 02-19-2009, 09:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Especially when I compare myself to kids I went to school with, they're all so happy and **** and I'm stuck at home self-loathing and just wanting to curl up in a ball and die.
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Old 02-19-2009, 09:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Brother down!
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Old 02-19-2009, 10:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by christ~in~me View Post
oh yea plenty of times.
i usually feel like everything around me is moving and i'm at a stand still
This is how I feel
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Old 02-19-2009, 10:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Touche! That is one of my biggest worries. I always feel like I could be living life much more, especially on the weekends.
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Old 02-19-2009, 11:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I'll just say to imagine that your in an Ironman race. Your dream would be to finish first, but your ultimate goal would be to finish the race. You see people pass you by, but that doesn't bother you because you're not racing them, you're racing yourself to acheive your ultimate goal, which is to finish the race. Now imagine that Ironman race is your life. You don't have to be the first one out of the gate leading the race. You just have to have the desire and motivation in yourself to finish it no matter how long it takes.
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Old 02-20-2009, 12:24 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I feel like everyone around me is progressing while I'm stuck at home. I worry a ****load about my future and question whether life is even worth living sometimes. I just feel like a total failure everyday and its driving me ****ing insane.

Anyone else feel like this?
I had to double check who posted this because I thought I did...it sounds like something I would have written!

You know what makes it worse? Social networking sites like facebook...I hate reading people's happy updates...how they are getting married or doing this or that.

I get in this kind of funk quite a bit...but if you step back and think about it I don't think that the people that are "passing me by" really are. I think that they all have their own problems that they feel are holding them down and are putting on a different face for the world to see. At least I like to think so...makes me feel better
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Old 02-20-2009, 12:41 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by alex18 View Post
I feel like everyone around me is progressing while I'm stuck at home. I worry a ****load about my future and question whether life is even worth living sometimes. I just feel like a total failure everyday and its driving me ****ing insane.

Anyone else feel like this?
What are you going to do about it?
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Old 02-20-2009, 12:45 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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What are you going to do about it?
Well that is supportive. Sometimes people just need a place to vent and find out that they aren't the only ones.
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Old 02-20-2009, 10:01 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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What are you going to do about it?
I've already tried medications and therapy for about 3 years and it didn't help much. I haven't been on meds/therapy for about 7 months now and I'm actually doing better.
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Old 02-20-2009, 10:05 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Yea, I feel the same way. I feel pretty pathetic because there are 18 year olds and younger who have experienced more of a social life than me. Who am I kidding? There are 12 year olds who have a better social life than me
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Old 02-20-2009, 10:19 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Just remember that you're not in a competition with other people to see who can get the most done the fastest with their life. Each person has their own pace, which doesn't mean that they are better or worse than you are.
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Old 02-20-2009, 11:27 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shyvr6 View Post
I'll just say to imagine that your in an Ironman race. Your dream would be to finish first, but your ultimate goal would be to finish the race. You see people pass you by, but that doesn't bother you because you're not racing them, you're racing yourself to acheive your ultimate goal, which is to finish the race. Now imagine that Ironman race is your life. You don't have to be the first one out of the gate leading the race. You just have to have the desire and motivation in yourself to finish it no matter how long it takes.
Thanks, that's an awesome way to look at it.
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Old 02-20-2009, 12:23 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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I've already tried medications and therapy for about 3 years and it didn't help much. I haven't been on meds/therapy for about 7 months now and I'm actually doing better.
Well I am glad you are improving. What is the background of your SA? What part of yourself do you feel negatively about, have you always had SA?
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Old 06-17-2013, 03:01 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Hi:

It bothers me when I see documented womanizers on Facebook partying it up, with a beer in one hand and an angry, obscene smirk in the other hand. Especially, when two of them are together and teaming up, like yeah we are both drunk *******s!

It bothers me when people compete socially, in fact it's repugnant.
As I become more enlightened the further I want to get away from social media.

Even when you try to get away from it, it haunts you.

I find it ironic that sad and angry people try to look happy on it. And, lonely insecure people try to look like they have a lot of friends and are secure.

When a person becomes centered, these forms of social measurement no longer matter, and yet... It is still disturbing to watch grown men and women compete with each other. Something is clearly wrong with it. It is ALL about the ego.

I find these sites so offensive that I have to avoid them altogether. I for one know my friend who looks so happy can't sleep and takes Prozac everyday.

None of them are truly happy. Happy people would not feel the need to compete.

And people get married, have babies and have more babies just to keep up with the Jones's.

Best advice, get centered, follow your heart only. Competing is a waste of energy.

Let them be who they are.

Love yourself fully for being who you are.
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Old 06-17-2013, 05:46 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Yes, I feel I dont know how to live. I am find difficult to make decisions and I lag behind my siblings.
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Old 06-17-2013, 06:24 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Noegoicpatterns, you are awesome! I definitely agree with the fact that happy people don't feel the need to compete. As I become comfortable and happy with myself, I also feel less that way, but then again, happiness wouldn't make you feel those feelings of negativity and depression over not doing as well.

It's not about keeping up with others, but it is hard not to compare yourself, especially when you're young (or at least that is what older people tell me). I still do it, but not really through social media. I have known really, truly amazing people in my life and I know that they are just doing amazing things in all aspects - socially, romantically, and now in their career fields. I, on the other hand am doing terribly at two of those, and could do a lot better in the last one.

It's a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I think it is great that everyone around me is doing well, it shows that at one time I had a great taste in friends, and they have influenced me for the better. But on the negative, how do you elevate yourself to be at that level of happiness? Trust me, they are happy, even though there are problems I don't see. For example, one girl has a medium group of close-knit friends, a boyfriend, and a great job (or at least well-paying). Another is pursuing her dream of becoming a pilot and has a great group of friends (romantic status unknown). And then there is me...

But back to you. Are you working or going to school? How do you feel your social life is? What, if you could pick one thing, would be the most important thing for you at this moment in your life?
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Old 06-17-2013, 10:17 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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I would suggest using the people who are progressing in their lives as inspiration to make progress in your own.

Stop worrying about the future and start living your life. It's alright to worry in moderation (everyone does!) but it shouldn't stop you from moving forward with your life and doing what you want to do.
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Old 06-17-2013, 11:19 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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I feel that to from time to time. The solution is to stop compairing yourself with others and find happiness within yourself(sounds cheesy right).

I would suggest you to do 4 Things:

find a good therapist and have weekly/regular sessions. Really come out with your thoughts and problems.

start jogging +3 times a week. You get in shape, and your brain releases alot of endorphines in your brain which are the hormones that makes you happy. Set goals, attent in a marathon, find a jogging partner on online forums.

start meditation. Find a mindfulness class to learn it right and practise it every day. You need to be more in the moment of now and stop worrying so much, and meditation can teach you that if you give it a serious try.

sit Down with a notebook and pen and then do some serious soulsearch. Dont compare yourself with others, but really aks yourself what you want out of life - job? sport? social? love? then you write these Things Down and then for each point you ask yourself - how could I achieve this point? throw away alllll excuses, fears, past failures, worries. Just ask yourself straight up.

I hope this will help you
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