I dont feel like an Adult....do u feel like this???? - Page 7 - Social Anxiety Forum
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:15 PM   #121 (permalink)
 
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Its weird because im a lot more mature than most people my age, but at the same time I do feel like im stuck at 13-14 (when I last had a social life).

The worst thing is the other day my older (ladies man) brother said I wasn't a man but instead a little boy. even though hes accomplished nothing with his life and is a bigger spoiled brat than anyone I know, it hurt really bad because of the way I feel in regards to feeling im still in my early teens.
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:38 PM   #122 (permalink)
 
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^Yep. I feel like a child. All the time. But I too feel like I didn't have a childhood, so I feel like I'm constantly stuck where I was 'left behind'. It's so depressing.

People were thinking I was under 18 the other day. I feel like a child in every social situation, nearly everything in life, and I think people pick up on it right away so I'm singled out and feel so alone.

Same situation exactly....it sucks
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:44 PM   #123 (permalink)
 
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I feel the same way also. I thought the awkwardness would have gone by now, but it remains. I don't feel as if I will ever 'catch up' to the way everyone around me feels. I'm nervous, shy, and no more confident than I was at a younger age. I'm 27. I substitute, but I don't get the opportunity to make much money because I won't sub at the middle school or high school. I tried once, and I was terrified. I don't 'feel' old enough to be authoritative over those students, even though I've been an adult for some time. I was nervous and they could all tell.
I have to do field placement at a high school in a few weeks...at a city school none-the-less. Im SO SCARED. And people think that I am under 18 (I'll be 22 in a few months)....I know what you mean I feel the exact way...even with elementary school kids I feel weird being authoritative over them because I relate to them and have the same interests as most of them...
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Old 09-10-2011, 10:05 AM   #124 (permalink)
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Let me tell you a little secret. People who have "matured" and had more "life experiences" than us do not have it better. They are not happier, do not feel more fulfilled. They may appear to be confident and more well-adjusted, but it's an illusion. The vast majority have had more experiences, but they screwed them up. The vast majority have gotten divorced, are struggling with horrible child-support and child-care issues that sap their finances and energy. They can't change jobs or explore options because they're boxed in. All that life experience hasn't gotten them anywhere.

So I say revel in who you are. Enjoy your extended youth. Don't ever grow up if you don't want to. Think the grass is greener for the normals? It's not. Many of them probably secretly wish they were you - free of encumbrances with an entire world of options to explore.

Go to WalMart or some big store. Look at the people. 99% of them over a certain age - look at their faces. Tired. Grumpy. Sapped of hope. Sapped of vitality. It's shocking.

There's no reason to envy them. Growing up is not what it's cracked up to be.
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Old 09-10-2011, 10:24 AM   #125 (permalink)
 
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Yes, I feel like a child compared to my peers who are much more mature and wiser.

I have not had a single romantic relationship in my life. No driver's licence. No interest in attending parties or night clubs.

It's as if I'm a little child compared to most of the people my age.
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Old 09-10-2011, 10:38 AM   #126 (permalink)
 
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Yeah people do pick 12 a lot! That is how old I feel too because I'm just as dependent as I was at that age
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Old 09-10-2011, 01:53 PM   #127 (permalink)
 
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I'm the opposite and feel much older than I am. It makes it hard to relate to people my age.
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Old 09-10-2011, 02:05 PM   #128 (permalink)
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Im 43 and dont look or act my age. I never had any friends so never developed mentally growing up and i wouldnt say ive grown up. Im unable to do or dont know how to do things that most 43 yr olds know what to do. never bn able to cope with any social situation or any aspect of life like school,college,work,holidays,relationships etc etc. So feel permanently left behind and left out and nobody out there to show me the way!
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Old 09-10-2011, 02:06 PM   #129 (permalink)
 
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I'm a combination of a 94-year-old and a 12-year-old. No middle ground. I wish there was some way to feel adult without imagining myself withered.

But, really, I'm just an anachronism. I should have lived in a different era altogether, I think.
This. Or not lived at all, heh.
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Old 09-10-2011, 02:29 PM   #130 (permalink)
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Wel i dont really know how to become an adult and it all seems so overwhelming to me especially if you dont have any positive role models and nobodys shown you how to do it!
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Old 09-10-2011, 06:29 PM   #131 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by luctus View Post
I'm a combination of a 94-year-old and a 12-year-old. No middle ground. I wish there was some way to feel adult without imagining myself withered.

But, really, I'm just an anachronism. I should have lived in a different era altogether, I think.


I often feel like this. It's like, I'm either way too mature for certain situations or I'm too childish to possibly understand. It can be really annoying at times.
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Old 03-24-2012, 09:55 AM   #132 (permalink)
 
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I see this thread is old but i'll comment anyway.

I'm 24 and feel like I am still 16. I cant even look at women my own age and think I'd ever have a shot. When I was 16 I left high school and did homeschool. That was a terrible choice and has alot to do with how I feel today. Missing out on those last 2 years of high school around people my own age screwed me up.

I have been taking community college classes over the past few years and still trying find a way to feel like an adult. You would think college would help, but my lack of socializing puts a stop to that.
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Old 03-24-2012, 10:29 AM   #133 (permalink)
 
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I'm turning 24 this year and don't feel like it at. all. It's weird. I feel "younger"...even though i am still young.
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Old 03-24-2012, 11:22 AM   #134 (permalink)
 
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I can totally relate to most of you guys.

I'm 19 and compared to a lot of my peers the same age group as me, it's seems they've accomplished and experienced a lot more things then I have. They go to universities, got jobs, they've been here & done that, etc etc.. It just feels like these people are progressing and developing faster than I am.

I know it's not good to compare yourself with other people, but sometimes I just feel inadequate seeing people doing so much when I'm browsing through Facebook and other social media.
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Old 03-24-2012, 01:05 PM   #135 (permalink)
 
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Same problem - cept i don't look 23, look about 16-18. Feel awkward doing anything "mature" or "adult" and double take if im referred to as a man by people who know my age even.
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Old 03-24-2012, 01:35 PM   #136 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by DWM View Post
Let me tell you a little secret. People who have "matured" and had more "life experiences" than us do not have it better. They are not happier, do not feel more fulfilled. They may appear to be confident and more well-adjusted, but it's an illusion.


There's no reason to envy them. Growing up is not what it's cracked up to be.
This. People do what they think they're supposed to do, it doesnt make it more fufilling. I absolutely still act and feel more like a kid than an adult...but at the same time I dont want, nor do I feel ready to, completely be like an adult. Im partly scared that being an adult means turning my back on things I still enjoy, that bring me so much happiness that I wouldnt have if I left home and lived on my own. The big question is why do we feel we have to conform? Sometimes its that pressure that bothers us more, than the lack of adult experiences itself.
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Old 03-24-2012, 03:20 PM   #137 (permalink)
 
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A lot of this is probably caused by the way your parents raised you. I'm thinking overprotection. A lot of you people probably had parents treating you like you can't do things for yourself because they worry about you making mistakes and so you were given almost zero responsibility and any time they saw you doing things, they stuck their nose in and gave too much advice or they were critical of the way you did things or they took over and did everything for you instead. Many overprotective parents also visibly display worry which is then internalised and so worry may also become associated with undertaking new and challenging things. How can a child develop an internal sense of competence and ability to handle challenges that come with life? They cannot trust themselves to handle things. They end up riddled with self-doubt and anxiety over their abilities and have no self confidence to undertake new things. They lack an internal guiding system that tells them how to perform and what to do next, because for them, their guiding system needs to come externally. Situations that are normally a cause for celebration, becomes a cause for alarm and panic for these people. If you were shy as a child, overprotection probably never allowed you to develop a way to master and regulate this anxiety generated during ambiguous, novel and new situations. New situations create an internal vacuum in the mind which is filled with anxiety and self-doubt. As adults these overprotected people feel more like children in the world, unable to trust themselves and their ability to understand things. The world feels overwhelming.
Yup, this is how it was for me. Every new thing I did was a new opportunity that someone was going to screw me over, that I was going to mess up and get hurt, that I might get killed, that I might ruin my life..etc etc etc.... I don't think my parents greeted any of my new undertakings with simply joy and enthusiasm, lol.
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Old 03-24-2012, 03:25 PM   #138 (permalink)
 
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Yeah people do pick 12 a lot! That is how old I feel too because I'm just as dependent as I was at that age
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Old 03-24-2012, 03:36 PM   #139 (permalink)
 
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I'm 22 as well and feel exactly the same, I'm still very childish in a lot of ways.
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Old 03-24-2012, 04:51 PM   #140 (permalink)
 
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I'm turning 18 soon and I feel 14. When I was 14 I had so many fun new experiences. It was when I met my boyfriend, hung out with new people and left the house everyday just doing random things. I think I just want to be stuck in that time period. I graduate in may and like someone said earlier, the world seems overwhelming.
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