I Can't Pin Point What I'm ASHAMED Of

[JAY87]

I know the root of social anxiety is fear of being judged and feeling ashamed and inadequate but I can't quite figure out what im ashamed of or embarrassed of.

When I get around people I feel very self-conscious... I feel people are staring at me and badly judging me but I can't pin point what I feel they're judging... I just feel like people are scrutinizing me

Do you guys know what u are ashamed of when u go out in public and feel people staring at u and judging u?

Some ppl with social anxiety say they feel ugly,, some say they feel fat,, some say other things but me I can't figure out what im afraid of ppl judging on me

[Michael127]

I think there is an element of shame associated with SA. Mine involves sexual feelings. They make me anxious and I mostly know why.

You can try some emotional freedom technique on shame on Youtube. It works a little bit. Counselling is better for feelings of shame.

[Zerix]

It doesn't have to be an exact thing... You can walk in a room and feel anxious just because you think they're gonna judge you about something. Are you ashamed of your own self is the question.

[jimjam]

Originally Posted by Zerix

It doesn't have to be an exact thing... You can walk in a room and feel anxious just because you think they're gonna judge you about something. Are you ashamed of your own self is the question.

I think that is the point he is trying to make. If we fear peer judgment, it means there is something we feel is worth judging about ourselves. Because, if you have no shame (nothing to hide) what is there to worry about, right?

It means that anyone with SA has something shameful to hide about themselves. It may not even be rational (feeling fat when you are not), but it feels real.

It may be that you don't feel shame with a particular attribute of yourself. It could just be self doubt. For example, lets say you have a high pitched voice, which doesn't bother you at all and never did. Then, someone comments that it sounds annoying, and now you are doubting your own evaluation of the sound of your voice. Now you've become ashamed of your own voice (even if only temporarily).

I think its always based on shame, whether that is deep rooted (something you always feel that is wrong with your very person (deep shame)),
or situational (something you feel is wrong iwth you in the moment, but not normally (self doubt)).

Either way, the topic creator can't figure out which reason he feels shame. Knowing can be half the battle.

[jonny neurotic]

It an oversensitivity to social threats. The result is that the limbic system is conditioned to react as though everyone is "against" you. It is simply this that must be questioned. You don't necessarily have to have anything to feel ashamed about because it is a conditioned response which has developed over a long time. You just need to question the belief that people mean you wrong and endure the discomfort of feeling that way until you are alone then meditate over it and take a rational and, most importantly, non-judgemental assesment of what happened and what you were thinking when you felt anxious. Perhaps medication may help...