I can't buy anything! - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-03-2010, 06:31 AM Thread Starter
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I can't buy anything!

One of the hardest things for me with my social anxiety is that i cannot buy anything from a shop. Even for a simple over the counter exchange. As soon as i get in a line, i feel really nervous and start sweating.
And i feel that once I am up at the counter every single person in the store is watching me and can hear me talking. But in reality i'm a very soft talker, and the person at the counter is always asking me to speak up, and i feel so embarrassed. I think that everyone around is judging me based on how i pay for the thing or whatever it is.

I have only actually bought something like probably 6 or 7 times in total in my whole life (im 15 by the way). The only exception is a small corner shop near my house with nobody in the shop but the old gy at the counter. Aytime i want to buy something, i need my parents or someone else like my cousin to do it.

And this is for buying simple stuff, like chewing gum over the counter! I don't know what i'd do if i had to purchase movie tickets, or order at a fast food place.

My question is, do all SAD sufferers have these problems,? Or is it strange for me not to be able to do these things? Any advice would be great!
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-03-2010, 07:17 AM
and i have social anxiety
 
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I get really nervous when paying for stuff at stores too.
To help ease the anxiety from it, i just remind myself that the cashier probably encounters a lot of people each day, and even if i look nervous/speak softly...they wont remember me out of all those people.
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-03-2010, 07:53 AM
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I get really anxious 2. The worst is when I have to go clothes shopping. I really hate it when they have a worker who follows you around.

I use to be so bad but now I am getting use to it. Just don't think 2 much. I use to think people are watching my every move. I would just say to myself people have other better things to do then watch you. I still get anxious but it's bearable. Maybe you should try getting someone to accompany you when buying stuff. When i was in high school my anxiety level was really high. I get really paranoid. I always took my sister with me.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-03-2010, 08:20 AM
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The thing you have to remember is that nobody cares, they get so many costumers each day they'd probably forget you within an hour, I think less. What is the worst that could happen, you stand in the line you buy your thing you pay and leave whats the big deal? believe me people don't have time to think and dwell upon how quiet you are or whatever, they have better things to think about. I instantly forget about people i see in shops or on the street their too many.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-03-2010, 08:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mello View Post
The thing you have to remember is that nobody cares, they get so many costumers each day they'd probably forget you within an hour, I think less. What is the worst that could happen, you stand in the line you buy your thing you pay and leave whats the big deal? believe me people don't have time to think and dwell upon how quiet you are or whatever, they have better things to think about. I instantly forget about people i see in shops or on the street their too many.
^ Good point. I used to be really bad with this problem and i could barely even make it to the gas station to fill up my truck. I'm a little better about it now, but 90% of the time i need something Amazon.com. Of course that really doesn't help the problem.
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-03-2010, 12:13 PM
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i have similar problem but rather with buying odds and ends i need.

when I walk into a shop i feel almost like i'm walking into a strangers home for food/supplies

always feel i need to be on best behavior
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-03-2010, 12:16 PM
chubby 11 year old girl
 
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This is what made me first realize I had SA. I avoid check-out lines as much as I can. I pay for gas with a debit card, order all of my clothes, CDs, books, etc. online. I live with my parents, so I don't really have to worry about grocery shopping, but I'll do that online too when I move out.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-03-2010, 12:19 PM
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I was the same way until I worked at a few stores, not only do we not care, we dont notice or remember. Unless someone comes in everyday and does something familiar I will never notice them, I dont care about the client, I look and smile and all that stuff but my mind is mainly on the clock and how much longer I need to work, same goes for most of my co-workers and managers.
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-03-2010, 07:03 PM
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I'm the same. Sometimes I even get my family to buy my stuff to me (with me giving them the money, I mean). They don't even know why I do it. My sister seems to think it's a weird quirk I have and nothing more.
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-03-2010, 10:12 PM
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I was really nervous about that when I was younger, too. It should get easier. I had to realize that people are just taking care of business, not paying attention to anything.

It's nothing personal; you just have to suffer
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 09:19 AM
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I try and block everyone out when I stand in line. I will just focus on my purchase, pay, and leave. People will not remember you for just buying something, and even if you do bring attention to yourself I'm sure people will forget in 5 minutes at the most.
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 10:41 AM
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I personally never have problems buying stuff except clothes because I hate trying them on. I guess I'm use to it because I buy a pack of cigarettes daily. Just remember that noone cares what you are buying. They just want the line to move so its their turn so they can get the heck out of there. To the thread starter. You should one day just go to any gas station, or Royal farms and buy a piece of gum. You'll feel better, I promise. Alot better!
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 01:28 PM
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The only advice I can give you is to keep practicing. I used to have a really hard time purchasing things too (and it's still not exactly fun!), but I can do it without getting too anxious. Maybe start with a small, uncrowded store, or somewhere where you know the cashier. And don't even worry about small talk, I just say the basic please, thank you, etc, and get out! A few times I have gotten so nervous that I mix up my words - I said "you're welcome" when the cashier handed me my change instead of "thank you". If you make a verbal uh-oh, don't dwell on it, or you'll just get more anxious; either laugh at your mistake, correct yourself, or just ignore it. The cashier is probably only thinking about when their shift is over!

I hope that random anecdote helps in some way:-)

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.

~Sylvia Plath
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 02:39 PM
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It's very hard for me to buy things too. A lot of times my family buy me my things xd
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-04-2010, 02:41 PM
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oh god.... I hate buying things... I feel so nervous especially if I have to count change. Alot of times I don't even bother with coins and just let them take it out of the bill. I fumble with coins, I hav difficulty thinking straight, the cashier watching me makes me extremely uncomfortable, and picking out the necessary coins and making sure its the right amount is not easy because i cant focus. And then I want to double check because Im unsure of my capability to count the right amount of money in an extremely nervous state... its terrible... =[
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