Social Anxiety Support

Morph900 · 09-20-2010, 07:06 PM

I kind of freak out, like scared, so I just keep walking past everyone EVERYONE, Im so scared, what is wrong with me? this cant just be social anxiety?

TheGreatPretender · 09-20-2010, 07:08 PM

Based on only what you said, it fits well with social anxiety. If you had autism, you wouldn't be nervous about what other people are thinking of you.

Reptillian · 09-20-2010, 07:09 PM

That could be paranoia or social anxiety disorder, get a therapist.

OregonMommy · 09-20-2010, 07:09 PM

There are many who dread eye contact or get anxious like you do, don't worry doesn't mean you have autism. Of course the only way to find out is to get a diagnosis. Don't be scared, go find a professional to help you.

theEscapist · 10-20-2010, 11:29 AM

I find eye contact extremely unpleasant, sometimes almost to the point of panic. I hate being on the bus and sitting in a seat that faces the others... where the heck am I supposed to look?

I think it's pretty common in people with social anxiety. Nothing to panic about... at least not anything more to panic about.

chriswatch · 10-20-2010, 11:38 AM

No, because that would mean I would have autism too. And I definitely don't have autism. I usually avoid eye contact with strangers. I used to try to make eye contact, and I hated the expressions I would get. You get that look like, "Haha, he's weaker than me cuz he's shy." I finally got to a f#@% it attitude, and just look straight ahead. At least they don't get their satisfaction of making eye contact so they can give me their little looks.

optimistickev · 10-20-2010, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theEscapist

I find eye contact extremely unpleasant, sometimes almost to the point of panic. I hate being on the bus and sitting in a seat that faces the others... where the heck am I supposed to look?

I think it's pretty common in people with social anxiety. Nothing to panic about... at least not anything more to panic about.

Yeah that on the bus can be brutal for me as well. I try not to care but even still I am thinking the whole trip "where do I look? Did they catch me looking at them? Quick look somewhere else, etc." It can be fairly discomforting. Even with friends I am bad with eye contact sometimes and I am usually pretty self conscious about it and will be thinking "I havn't made eye contact with them in a while, I should". Then I do and try to hold it. I try to play it calm and cool but inside every social confrontation is a constant battle between me and my anxiety.

IccaBNedlog · 10-20-2010, 01:39 PM

I've been different places with eye contact. I went through a phase of wondering why making eye contact was such a big deal - had something to do with people don't like the intimacy of it or it's confrontational. I was kind of indifferent about eye contact, I guess, I don't remember that well - I remember a time when I'd be on a bus and make eye contact with everyone who boarded the bus. I remember one conversation when a friend said when talking to a girl he didn't know where to look, didn't want to look in her eyes, didn't want to stare at her breasts and I remember agreeing. I do remember a phase when I thought I needed to make eye contact with people and it was a normal thing to do. I remember at this time when talking to women like this some of them would seem interested in me. Eventually I became less and less inclined to make eye contact, mainly due to the males not liking it from me. Eventually I didn't make eye contact with anyone and I found it hard to even look at them. Gradually, I became more adept at looking at people's faces without looking them in the eye. I'd kind of look in the direction but past them. More recently I realized that if I wanted to get anywhere with women one of the things I was going to have to do was start looking at them in the eye again.

EDIT: I think a minimum amount of eye contact might be a necessary thing in face to face interaction. Too little could be faux pas, too much could be faux pas. Some people will get offended if you refuse to look them in the eye. Others will be offended if you look them in the eye.

caesarea · 10-20-2010, 01:44 PM

Sounds like just SA to me, but if you're really worried see a doctor. Can't hurt to talk to a doctor anyway.

Just today I went to the park by myself and left after only 20 minutes of walking because another woman walked past me and said hi. I looked her in the eye, said hi, and walked straight to my car to leave. Connecting to people socially is brutal sometimes.

CourtneyB · 10-20-2010, 07:24 PM

You could have both. if you really think you are autistic just go get tested. No one but a trained doctor can diagnose you, not even yourself.

chriswatch · 10-20-2010, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caesarea

Sounds like just SA to me, but if you're really worried see a doctor. Can't hurt to talk to a doctor anyway.

Just today I went to the park by myself and left after only 20 minutes of walking because another woman walked past me and said hi. I looked her in the eye, said hi, and walked straight to my car to leave. Connecting to people socially is brutal sometimes.

Yeah, I can't stand eye contact w/ strangers, when my leg was okay, I used to jog on a river bike/running trail and I would pass people. Of course, I'm the only shy person who is out there, and when you are in the middle of jogging you want people to leave you alone. But, there are people that insist on making contact and saying hi, and if you don't some will get mad. It finally got to a point where I didn't care as much anymore, I was like what are they going to do? Run me down and punch me if I ignore them? Hasn't happened, and probably never will.

Mia25 · 10-20-2010, 07:42 PM

You should check with a doctor to be sure what the problem is. I have SA and still have problems looking at people in their eyes though it's not as bad as it used to be. What helps me sometimes is I'll look at the persons eyebrows instead of their eyes. They think you're looking at their eyes and it's not as threatening.

britisharrow · 10-21-2010, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGreatPretender

Based on only what you said, it fits well with social anxiety. If you had autism, you wouldn't be nervous about what other people are thinking of you.

Speaking as an autistic man, with all due respect, this isn't generally the case. The autistic spectrum is wide and varied and only a small proportion of people with autism are the 'insular' type you are referring to.

A sizeable proportion of people with autism do have a lot of discomfort when it comes to issues such as eye contact and it can lead to serious paranoia and mental pain over what other people think of them.

To answer the original question: difficulties with eye contact are very common in social anxiety and it is by no means an indicator of autism. You may have mild autism, but it is far, far more likely that you just have social anxiety disorder.

09-20-2010, 07:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
Morph900 Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 67	I am so scared of eye contact, im so scared is this autistic? I kind of freak out, like scared, so I just keep walking past everyone EVERYONE, Im so scared, what is wrong with me? this cant just be social anxiety?

09-20-2010, 07:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
OregonMommy Status: On me "toes" Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Where the heart is Gender: Female Age: 42 Posts: 1,486	There are many who dread eye contact or get anxious like you do, don't worry doesn't mean you have autism. Of course the only way to find out is to get a diagnosis. Don't be scared, go find a professional to help you. __________________ "When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance"-- Lee Ann Womack I am not my past. I am not my anxiety, nor depression. I am not my gender, or color, or social status, or occupation title, or any other label. I am not my story.

10-20-2010, 01:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
caesarea Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Age: 23 Posts: 116	Sounds like just SA to me, but if you're really worried see a doctor. Can't hurt to talk to a doctor anyway. Just today I went to the park by myself and left after only 20 minutes of walking because another woman walked past me and said hi. I looked her in the eye, said hi, and walked straight to my car to leave. Connecting to people socially is brutal sometimes. __________________ "We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change."

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09-20-2010, 07:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
TheGreatPretender Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Massachusetts Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 145	Based on only what you said, it fits well with social anxiety. If you had autism, you wouldn't be nervous about what other people are thinking of you.

09-20-2010, 07:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
Reptillian Status: Loner without SA Join Date: Sep 2010 Gender: Male Posts: 86	That could be paranoia or social anxiety disorder, get a therapist.

10-20-2010, 11:29 AM	#5 (permalink)
theEscapist Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 96	I find eye contact extremely unpleasant, sometimes almost to the point of panic. I hate being on the bus and sitting in a seat that faces the others... where the heck am I supposed to look? I think it's pretty common in people with social anxiety. Nothing to panic about... at least not anything more to panic about.

10-20-2010, 11:38 AM	#6 (permalink)
chriswatch Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Kansas Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 380	No, because that would mean I would have autism too. And I definitely don't have autism. I usually avoid eye contact with strangers. I used to try to make eye contact, and I hated the expressions I would get. You get that look like, "Haha, he's weaker than me cuz he's shy." I finally got to a f#@% it attitude, and just look straight ahead. At least they don't get their satisfaction of making eye contact so they can give me their little looks.

10-20-2010, 01:39 PM	#8 (permalink)
IccaBNedlog Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Gender: Male Age: 29 Posts: 175	I've been different places with eye contact. I went through a phase of wondering why making eye contact was such a big deal - had something to do with people don't like the intimacy of it or it's confrontational. I was kind of indifferent about eye contact, I guess, I don't remember that well - I remember a time when I'd be on a bus and make eye contact with everyone who boarded the bus. I remember one conversation when a friend said when talking to a girl he didn't know where to look, didn't want to look in her eyes, didn't want to stare at her breasts and I remember agreeing. I do remember a phase when I thought I needed to make eye contact with people and it was a normal thing to do. I remember at this time when talking to women like this some of them would seem interested in me. Eventually I became less and less inclined to make eye contact, mainly due to the males not liking it from me. Eventually I didn't make eye contact with anyone and I found it hard to even look at them. Gradually, I became more adept at looking at people's faces without looking them in the eye. I'd kind of look in the direction but past them. More recently I realized that if I wanted to get anywhere with women one of the things I was going to have to do was start looking at them in the eye again. EDIT: I think a minimum amount of eye contact might be a necessary thing in face to face interaction. Too little could be faux pas, too much could be faux pas. Some people will get offended if you refuse to look them in the eye. Others will be offended if you look them in the eye.

10-20-2010, 07:24 PM	#10 (permalink)
CourtneyB Status: Dancing on my own Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Maryland Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 1,636	You could have both. if you really think you are autistic just go get tested. No one but a trained doctor can diagnose you, not even yourself.

10-20-2010, 07:42 PM	#12 (permalink)
Mia25 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: U.S. Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 98	You should check with a doctor to be sure what the problem is. I have SA and still have problems looking at people in their eyes though it's not as bad as it used to be. What helps me sometimes is I'll look at the persons eyebrows instead of their eyes. They think you're looking at their eyes and it's not as threatening.