Social Anxiety Support

delirium · 11-03-2009, 10:01 PM

Before I begin, I'd like to say that I've been posting a lot here recently, and I've found a lot of your comments very insightful and supportive.

Anyway, my topic: I'm trying to get into a CBT group therapy thing at my local mental health center. They mailed me a booklet of psychological inventories to fill out before my upcoming assessment, and one inventory struck me as interesting. It was about social success and my feelings that accompany it. While filling out the inventory I realized that I am very uncomfortable with any small social success -- if I tell a joke and people laugh, if someone (male or female) shows interest or approval towards me, compliments, etc. I'm not sure what to make of it.

Some speculations: perhaps it has to do with self-concept. I've seen myself as a shy, introverted person with poor social skills for such a long time that now (after applying CBT for a few months) that I'm beginning to see some changes in my interactions with others I'm still fighting to retain my old self-concept, which is so familiar to me. Or, maybe I'm afraid that the changes I've been making are only temporary, that they won't last, and that these new successes won't last, and that I'm only fooling myself that I'm making progress. These are dark thoughts. I'd like to know what you guys think.

CrashMedicate · 11-04-2009, 05:31 AM

Well it's understandable to second guess short term successes. I'm going through this myself right now. You have to understand that SA didn't happen over night and it's not going to go away over night. Just as long as you keep applying yourself your thought patterns will slowly change over time, and you'll develop social confidence. But you have to be patient and persistent. I've read that 1 to 3 years is the average, depending on the learning curve and how much you're applying yourself.

It's a long road but the payoff is worth it. Congrats on your progress thus far and keep at it!

pixies · 11-04-2009, 07:58 AM

For me, being socially successful makes me feel really good. If I tell a joke and everyone laughs it really gives me a much needed confidence boost and being happy and being around happy people in general makes me feel far less socially anxious.

However my difficulty being the centre of attention makes all this very hit and miss. And I also have a problem with laughing which is a major problem.

leonardess · 11-04-2009, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashMedicate

But you have to be patient and persistent. I've read that 1 to 3 years is the average, depending on the learning curve and how much you're applying yourself.

It's a long road but the payoff is worth it. Congrats on your progress thus far and keep at it!

1 to 3 years?

Marci07 · 11-04-2009, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by delirium

if I tell a joke and people laugh, if someone (male or female) shows interest or approval towards me, compliments, etc. I'm not sure what to make of it.

I can totally relate. Being alone bothers me but yet, when there is an opportunity to be social I don't know how to deal with it. I wonder if I'm ready to be completelly social or if I should just take one small step at a time.

11-03-2009, 10:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
delirium Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Toronto Gender: Male Posts: 214	How You Feel About Social Success Before I begin, I'd like to say that I've been posting a lot here recently, and I've found a lot of your comments very insightful and supportive. Anyway, my topic: I'm trying to get into a CBT group therapy thing at my local mental health center. They mailed me a booklet of psychological inventories to fill out before my upcoming assessment, and one inventory struck me as interesting. It was about social success and my feelings that accompany it. While filling out the inventory I realized that I am very uncomfortable with any small social success -- if I tell a joke and people laugh, if someone (male or female) shows interest or approval towards me, compliments, etc. I'm not sure what to make of it. Some speculations: perhaps it has to do with self-concept. I've seen myself as a shy, introverted person with poor social skills for such a long time that now (after applying CBT for a few months) that I'm beginning to see some changes in my interactions with others I'm still fighting to retain my old self-concept, which is so familiar to me. Or, maybe I'm afraid that the changes I've been making are only temporary, that they won't last, and that these new successes won't last, and that I'm only fooling myself that I'm making progress. These are dark thoughts. I'd like to know what you guys think.

11-04-2009, 05:31 AM	#2 (permalink)
CrashMedicate Status: Racing through life Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Riiiight here. Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 205	Well it's understandable to second guess short term successes. I'm going through this myself right now. You have to understand that SA didn't happen over night and it's not going to go away over night. Just as long as you keep applying yourself your thought patterns will slowly change over time, and you'll develop social confidence. But you have to be patient and persistent. I've read that 1 to 3 years is the average, depending on the learning curve and how much you're applying yourself. It's a long road but the payoff is worth it. Congrats on your progress thus far and keep at it! __________________ A man has to have goals. A man without goals is like a car without steering. You're going to crash.

11-04-2009, 07:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
pixies Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: England, UK Gender: Male Posts: 144	For me, being socially successful makes me feel really good. If I tell a joke and everyone laughs it really gives me a much needed confidence boost and being happy and being around happy people in general makes me feel far less socially anxious. However my difficulty being the centre of attention makes all this very hit and miss. And I also have a problem with laughing which is a major problem.