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Old 10-03-2008, 06:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

I have noticed that I have a tendency to overanalyze situations, though I will provide some of the situations and hopefully someone can either confirm or deny. Today I had my speech class. There is a girl who sits in front of me that I really like. From what I have experienced she is smart, she is pretty, and she is nice. And she wears glasses. So anyways, I noticed that she glanced at me when I sat on another side of the room during the first class. So I moved on over to her side of the room, and she sits in front of me. Then, that class, not only do I deliver a speech which was well accepted and got a good grade (at news of that, I thought it must have been some sort of trick), I also managed to have a fairly engaging conversation with her.

This class, she said hello, but she seemed much more distant. At first I thought (hoped?) that perhaps she liked me as well, but this class she seemed colder. Not ice cold, but maybe iced tea cold. So after and during class I felt pretty bad. Almost crushed in a way.

Do I read too much into these things? Anyone else do this?
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Old 10-03-2008, 06:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

Maybe she felt put off because you didn't take it further than an "engaging conversation".
..Or she was having a bad day or some other of a hundred different reasons.

Anyway to answer your question, yeah, that's pretty much what we do. We overanalyze things. A lot. It's not easy to turn off the brain, is it...
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Old 10-03-2008, 07:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

Maybe she has SA! Apparently 10% of people do.
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Old 10-04-2008, 01:32 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

She might of been having a bad day. Try to talk to her again during your next class together to try and get some insight on how she feels about you.
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Old 10-04-2008, 01:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

You can't read her mind. Putting thoughts into her head doesn't work.
When people initially get to know each other, some distance is expected. I would gently pursue it and see what happens.
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Old 10-04-2008, 08:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

I used to overanalze everything when it comes to body language. When I talk to people and they seem to look uninterested, cold or angry at that moment I always jump to conclusion that it is my fault and than I go home and beat myself wondering what I have done wrong!

I find that when I do that I always put this quote in my head "The world does not evolve around you." It's so true! The person may have a bad day because of something else. You can never tell unless you ask them why they seem cold or angry.
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Old 10-04-2008, 12:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

I do this so much. Even though Iím quite logical otherwise I canít shake these feeling of paranoia about some small brief expression on someoneís face when I said something and what it meant. Or the fact that they didnít continue a conversation when they said hello to me, obsessing over someoneís wording that would be perfectly innocent if I didnít spend so much time twisting it into something negative.

Itís grown so hard for me to trust people in the past I guess I just expect negativity in everything people say or do or assume thereís an ulterior motive. Itís very annoying to go through life like this.
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Old 10-04-2008, 12:10 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

I do this more than you, I like a guy right now and I go crazy thinking maybe if he even looks in my direction he just may like me and then I go home and can't stop thinking about him. It drives me nuts, so no you don't overanalyze...
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Old 10-04-2008, 12:26 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

Quote:
Originally Posted by buzzkill87
I do this more than you, I like a guy right now and I go crazy thinking maybe if he even looks in my direction he just may like me and then I go home and can't stop thinking about him. It drives me nuts, so no you don't overanalyze...
I do the same thing. I think about several dating prospects for much of the day. I even sometimes have dreams about them. I guess we're both just the stalker type :P.

Anyways, I don't see this particular girl too often. The class only meets once a week (which sucks in and of itself, because the class then becomes so long! Sitting there listening how to speak for 2 1/2 hours is really boring). So, I have few opportunities to speak to her. Now, my doctor prescribed beta blockers for momentary anxiety. I've taken only a few of them, as I've only needed it like twice, but might they help me ask her out? I don't really want to have to use drugs, but I feel that the gains (increased confidence, even if it fails) would probably be worth it.
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Old 10-04-2008, 08:18 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

The same exact thing just happened to me with this guy. He seemed really cool at first and we talked a lot but then he just started being cold and distant. I thought that we were getting along great (like we could be great friends) but maybe I read a little too much into it and he was just being nice.
It seems to happen a lot so I'm not unused to it but it still sucks..
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Old 10-05-2008, 11:19 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: How to Stop Reading too much into stuff

This might sound strange, but I've acted the same way as that girl before. On the rare occasion that a conversation goes great, and I feel like I've connected with someone and made a good impression, I'll become nervous the next time I see them because I don't want to mess up the good impression I've made. I want them to remember me the way I was last time. I worry I won't be able to pull it off and the result is me being cold, distant, or awkward - not at all like I was the first time.

Maybe she likes you and she was just a little nervous because she was afraid she wouldn't be as engaging this time. Or maybe not. What do I know?
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