How to ignore a bully staring...trying to intimidate you - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-21-2008, 12:19 PM Thread Starter
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How to ignore a bully staring...trying to intimidate you

OKAY so i guess my question is how do you respond to someone thats trying to tease you or bully you by staring blankly at you NON STOP?? Im talking more than 15 minutes! To the point they are turning around completely to look at you TRYING to intimidate you. Staring at you every where you move to around the rooom... and wont even back down when you say hello or give a friendly smile?? I mean people that are old enough to know STARING IS RUDE.
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-21-2008, 12:45 PM
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Re: How to ignore a bully staring...trying to intimidate you

You can

1) say, "Can I help you with something?!?!"

2) say, "Is there some kind of problem that you continue to stare at me all of the time?"

3) Give them a dirty look if being nice doesn't nip it in the bud.

4) Tell them to take a picture because it lasts longer.

5) Turn away from them at all costs.

6) Have someone else confront them for you.


Thats all I can come up with for now.

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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-21-2008, 12:56 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to ignore a bully staring...trying to intimidate you

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Originally Posted by CoconutHolder

4) Tell them to take a picture because it lasts longer.

5) Turn away from them at all costs.



Thats all I can come up with for now.
did those two. i actually said very loudly to my friend "maybe she shoudl take a picture it will last longer!!" I thought about offering her mine...
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-26-2011, 04:08 PM
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If you're walking, take a glance at them, and if they are still staring stare right back and stop walking, turn to there direction and ask "is there something you need?" or something like that. Don't get too close though, cause they might think you are getting in confrontation with them so they might push you or hit you which I'm sure you wont want that to happen.
I saw that happen once and the bully just laughed and just dropped his gaze.
That's how you stand up in those kinds of situations. If he stands up or anything, just push them back or hit them. trust me it's worth the good feeling and the respect you'll get.
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-26-2011, 08:17 PM
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Its always good to use wit to disarm your opponents, watch blackadder to see a master in action. You could just walk up them and be like "have you got the hots for me or something?" Regardless of which sex they are, and if they say no then ask them "well then why the hell are you checking me out constantly" or perhaps just say to them "didn't your mother ever teach you its rude to stare". The thing with bullys is that 9 times out of 10, the victims get bullied because they act in ways that promote it, even if you do nothing. I'd confront the person but use wit.

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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-26-2011, 08:20 PM
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I have a neighbour who does the same. I just ignore him.
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-26-2011, 08:25 PM
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Just one person?

Give them your best withering stare, and never respond verbally. The best way to combat passive-aggression is even more aggressive passive-aggression (I've mastered this technique, so feel free to contact me - I'm more than happy to share my wisdom with anyone who would listen!). That is, unless you actually want to solve the problem like a sensible, mature adult and create a more relaxing environment for everyone involved, in which case you should approach them privately to discuss possible issues that they have with you while maintaining a degree of assertiveness.

If the bully is male and you're female, though, be a bit careful. Fighting back can sometimes be like poking a bear with a stick.

Edit: Wait a minute, OP hasn't even been here since 2008. What the hell am I even responding for?

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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-26-2011, 08:36 PM
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No, you don't look at them. Pretend like you didn't know they were staring at you.

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I try to spread my message to the world the best way I can give it."
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-26-2011, 08:44 PM
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I have no clue... Some guy in my class stares at me non stop and it's creepy. He looks so angry when he stares, like he's going to jump out of his seat and kill me.
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-20-2012, 05:44 AM
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Very difficult to ignore bullies. If they don't get you one way,they'll get you another way until they have you into submission.It is my belief that not 70, not 90, not even 99 but 100% of bullies are evil. Evil people have no apathy or show, expressany type of remorse. Most are mentally disturbed and they get a rise out of what they do. Most bullying acts could be due tohomophobia. Or originally spawned from their families. Most bullies become high school dropouts and eventually end up in jail, prison or dead. I was rather shocked one time to hear that evil people view good people as evil also......as us good people see them as evil. Because evil sees nothing good in life. Everyone that is good, in their mind is a bad person. This helps themcope with the denial that they are doing anything wrong. Maybe this problem of bullying is burdened in our culture -- after all, Hollywoodand movies are full of nothing but hero and villian shootem ups. We even see it in romance films where the EX boyfriend is a Jerk whilst confronting the new boyfriend. Maybe our culture is really brainwashed into believing that being a bully is the norm. Movies are anything short of bad and good. Never the good! Unfortunately, those movies are only for film producers to capitalize on and we never really learn anything from them. The bullying still continues, and people in reality act just like they do in the movies. It's acarbon copy and B rated. ...and simular to TV, bullies will always try tofight you in front of an audience. So, a few things to remember. Don't let them catch your pride early. Andalways remember they are the ones in a twisted wrapper and could verywell be for the rest of their life. Always a low life, always a Loser and respectively, always a weak individual
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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 02:35 PM
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Ok, so I know that this is a really old thread, but this has been happening to me all semester. I really believe it's a form of bullying, because at times the people doing it have been very deliberate and bold about it.
The problem is, they only do it during class, so I can't say anything about it. I sit at the end of the table in both classes that it happens in, and the tables are perpendicular to the teacher at the front of the room. What this means is that
1. I have to look down the table past them in order to see the board and the projection screen. I'm not trying to look at them.
2. they have to physically turn around away from the front of the room to look at me, while there is absolutely no reason for them to be looking towards the back of the room at all. Strangely enough, the teacher doesn't seem to notice. Most of the time they'll just have their head turned to stare, but when they're really feeling bold they'll turn fully around with their arm on the table to stare at me.
What I want to know is why a teacher wouldn't notice this and be perturbed that their students are turning fully away from them and staring at a student who is paying attention.
And why would someone do this in the first place?!?
Do they feel like they should be able to stare at me because I have to look past them to see the board, even though I have a good reason to be looking in their direction and they don't? Not to mention that I'm not looking at them, which should be obvious. There is a board in front of you that everyone needs to see!

It hasn't been happening lately because I've been making an effort to look down the entire class time and only looking up when absolutely necessary, and getting a sore neck in the process. I don't know what else to do.
Please, if anyone here is a teacher, tell me why any instructor would ever tolerate this kind of behavior. Would you think that this person being stared at just shouldn't look up as much?

And what could I have possibly have done to elicit this kind of behavior?

Sometimes I think it just makes them feel powerful because they know I'm trapped, especially when I look up when the teacher is pointing something out and they're already waiting for me in anticipation. It feels like they're taking advantage of the fact that I have to look past them to see the front of the room.

Please, any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.
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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 02:40 PM
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Do they feel like they should be able to stare at me because I have to look past them to see the board, even though I have a good reason to be looking in their direction and they don't?*
Quick clarification since I can't edit. What I meant here is that they have no reason to be looking in my direction. I have a very good reason to be looking in theirs, however.
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 02:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AliciaH View Post
OKAY so i guess my question is how do you respond to someone thats trying to tease you or bully you by staring blankly at you NON STOP?? Im talking more than 15 minutes! To the point they are turning around completely to look at you TRYING to intimidate you. Staring at you every where you move to around the rooom... and wont even back down when you say hello or give a friendly smile?? I mean people that are old enough to know STARING IS RUDE.
just tell them not to test you in a mean way
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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 02:54 PM
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I got lucky, my bully from school got run over by a pickup truck while crossing a street, I only got bullied by him less than 10 times but they were memorable, his death was memorable, I only found out about it a few years after it happened though, but all of these years I was thinking about that clown and wished something bad happened to him, maybe it was like my meditation or something that caused him to die, oh well, that what he gets for hitting me, my meditation and that of the other people he hurt was so strong that it transferred into something powerful and real, the size of a truck moving at high speeds out of control, maybe the driver was even possessed and didn't know what was going on and had no memory of it
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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 02:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CoconutHolder View Post
You can

1) say, "Can I help you with something?!?!"

2) say, "Is there some kind of problem that you continue to stare at me all of the time?"

3) Give them a dirty look if being nice doesn't nip it in the bud.

4) Tell them to take a picture because it lasts longer.

5) Turn away from them at all costs.

6) Have someone else confront them for you.


Thats all I can come up with for now.
7) if possible just try to intimidate them right back, it has worked for me.
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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 03:07 PM
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What if it's happening during class? I don't want to waste time staring back at them. I just want to pay attention to the teacher and be able to read the screen and board.
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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 03:41 PM
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A bully is just like a dog barking. They don't know you, it's just what they do. Just ignore them and let the dogs bark.

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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 04:12 PM
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Ok, good analogy. I guess part of my problem is that I always want to know "why", when there might not be a reason.
It can be incredibly disturbing/distracting , though.
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 04:22 PM
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That's just it. There isn't a reason, it's not personal, it's just a bully.

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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-01-2015, 04:32 PM
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Stab them in the face. Repeatedly
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