How to be funny? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-11-2012, 01:55 PM Thread Starter
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How to be funny?

So I realized there are social situations where conversing is not enough. Like when it's a light, funny, loud conversation, and I can barely think of anything to add in - leaving me laughing along but not really inputting anything into the conversation. How do I think of things to say when the conversation is people mostly joking?

The worst is when someone makes a joke towards me, and I can't think of anything witty to respond to it, so I end up just smiling/laughing.

I know this is a very general question - but how do I become funnier and more playful? How do witty people think of witty things to say?
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-11-2012, 02:01 PM
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They associate with funny people, humour rubs off on you. If you haven't got many friends and don't mingle much sadly you're not going to become funny.
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-11-2012, 02:02 PM
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I have the same problem and I react the exact same way you do. I really don't know how to answer your question but I'm sure this thread will help us both.
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-11-2012, 02:08 PM
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As if I wrote this thread.
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-11-2012, 02:11 PM
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Humor is supposed to come naturally - its a way we can relate to each other in regards to certain situations. People laugh when they agree about something and hear a funny remark about it or use dry humor or sarcasm to relate to a shared experience.

Again, humor comes naturally. If its forced, thought up, or rehearsed it may not be as affective. Its just something you feel when you are "in the moment" during a conversation. It just sort of comes out without thinking.

The only downside is that you have to be in a good mood. But dark humor works (with some people) when you aren't in a bad mood.
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-11-2012, 02:11 PM
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Find humour in books, television, movies, and other media.

Include abstractions of these humorous things in conversation.

Oh, you may need to get rid on that "anxiety" in socializing. That's why I'll never be funny.

even the hangman has friends
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-11-2012, 02:22 PM
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i know this too. i want to have fun, but just cant. i was thinking it could be because in my family there allways has been fights, yelling and sad past for the most part and then in teens i get sa, so i cant communicate anymore with anyone, just being alone and depressed all the time. i also suspect i may be having somewhat of a aspergers as well. well i dont know how to get out of this either, but maybe watch alot of comedy and as previously said be with fun people? but then again you have to be fun to be with such people?
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-11-2012, 02:23 PM
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I find it very easy to be funny...I'm don't very good with socialising (working on it...aren't we all) but I can usually make someone laugh.
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-11-2012, 02:31 PM
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funny people enjoy themselves, and that shows through their jokes. Usually, being funny, is to have the ability to show other people what you find funny. So lets say that you notice how your teacher has a weird habit, you can show other people what you find funny, by either commenting on it, or doing a funny impression. The times I make people laugh is when I am able to convey what I find funny. It also helps, as mentioned, to be around funny people. Watch a lot of stand up and see how they convey humor, it has really helped me. Try watching michael mcintyre on youtube, he's just funny through and through. Pay attention to how he comes off as funny, and imitate what he does best. That's what a whole lot of professional stand up comedians do, they just emulate their favourite comedians.

Also, it's worthwhile to check out this website:
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 02:04 PM
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I have this problem a lot too sometimes, and overthinking almost always makes it worse. It's the moment I just let go and say something, even if it's not a funny response, that helps put me at ease and say funnier things more naturally afterward.

The simplest, short answer I have is: be random. Start observing everything around you and start making connections between things that are kind of unusual, random, and interesting.

I feel aiming to be interesting will trump just trying to be funny, and more often than not, just being interesting alone will get laughs.

Speaking with an air of confidence (not arrogance) and inflection in your tone will help a lot too in social gatherings. I still have this problem sometimes, mostly around people I don't know that well, but I am working on it.

In general, you will always want to talk about things that fall into one of two categories: either new, unusual, and interesting things that someone doesn't know about, or relating to someone with something you both know about or have experienced.

Something new and unusual would be like something you read about in the newspaper or on a wikipedia entry online. Something to relate with people you're with could be the setting you're in or a shared past: have the same friends to talk about, the food you guys are eating, that weird guy you saw walk by who has a dog dressed in a hawaiian shirt. Making fun of your environment is a great tool, because weird stuff is happening all the time.

When people tease me and I can't come up with a response, smiling/laughing without a reply is a normal, nervous response. Usually if it's an playful insult, one kind of all purpose reaction (which works for both girls and guys) is to say, "Wow, I... can't talk to you anymore" and put your hand up and playfully walk away while smiling. On paper this sounds super serious but it's all about the delivery! You have to have a totally exaggerated delivery, like you're saying "WOW" with your eyes open, and still smiling but somewhat in awe.

You can study and watch standup comedy, but that's probably not your main problem. The biggest hurdle in saying witty responses is really the delivery and not what you actually said--because if a genuinely witty remark comes off sounding like you were completely serious, it won't work (and could possibly come off as offensive!) The hardest transition for someone who hasn't built up a social 'reputation' for making funny remarks is to get used to conveying that delivery through their voice.

I could honestly talk about this for ages (sorry for the long reply) but if you're interested in more tips on how to be funny, visit my website at:

Hope I helped!

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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 04:30 PM
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the same way you get good at anything else: practice

if you don't have people to practice with, you can practice alone. try writing comedy or talking to the tv.
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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 04:34 PM
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Eh...I'd say that being funny or witty is one of those things you either have or you don't. Don't try to force it if you can't think of anything.
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 04:46 PM
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It should come naturally. Sometimes, I try to be funny, but its so bad that that in itself is funny My awkwardness is pretty funny sometimes too.

For those about to rock! We salute you!
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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 04:58 PM
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humor is something natural, but it can be also how you were raised. my dad was always funny with me when i was little and it grew on me. you probably have a good sense of humor, you just need to talk to more people :]. watch a lot of funny movies and stuff to help you too!

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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 05:01 PM
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i know what you mean... i have been told many times that im funny, but sometimes, if im intimidated, i just cant function well. however, i think the best way is to watch a lot of comedies, watch comedians, read humorous columns/comics, until you find something that is really funny to you. recognizing other people's humor makes you funny. eventually you'll just come into your own. sometimes when someone makes a playful stab at me, and im not sure what to say, i just smile and say "oh youuuuu". it's not exactly witty, but it shows that you got their joke.
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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 05:06 PM
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You should be confident and make others feel comfortable around you. If you smile and laugh often, I've noticed other people imitate those behaviors.

Actually I have no idea what I'm talking about.. no one has ever called me funny except in a self-deprecating way.
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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 05:10 PM
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I can be funny just comes naturally. You can't force yourself to be funny or witty.
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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by thing View Post
You should be confident and make others feel comfortable around you. If you smile and laugh often, I've noticed other people imitate those behaviors.

Actually I have no idea what I'm talking about.. no one has ever called me funny.
What you said is true though. Positive actions are often mimicked as to keep the mood that positive.

I don't have issues joking around much unless a person's personality comes across as much stronger than my own. I willing to take a hit-or-miss method as long as the person seems nice enough not to shun me for being sincere and trying.
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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 05:22 PM
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I am always referred to as "that funny kid" im just naturally funny I guess. I can do impressions. I say the right thing at the right times.

when you do things right people are sure you havent done anything at all
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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-12-2012, 05:29 PM
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I'm told I can be rather funny at times. Hilarious, even. I don't really know why.
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