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Old 11-13-2011, 06:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default How often are you supposed to hangout with friends?

I always wondered how often we are supposed to hangout with friends. Like some people at work hangout with people every day and every weekend. I dont understand how people can have that much energy to do this..

I just dont understand this. Also, how often are we supposed to talk to friends? do you talk to them everyday or every two weeks? I dont get how social relationships work at all.
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Old 11-13-2011, 06:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I don't think there's an easy one-size-fits-all answer to this. It's going to be different for different friendships.
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Old 11-13-2011, 06:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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You dont have to do anything you dont want to.. "It shouldnt be how often should I [insert here]" but "I really want to see them this many[insert here]"

They probably have the energy because they look forward to it, they are excited to be a part of it.[Or atleast they lie and tell themselves that so that they dont end up like us].

Meanwhile here we are in a pool of our negative energy. Oh this is going to suck, this could go wrong, that could go wrong.

Be honest if you truly, and I mean truly [not because its the social norm to want to] truly want to do something, you're not drained right?

Ect, ect. The usual innie vs. outie.

Id say every couple of days for people you want to keep close though.
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Old 11-13-2011, 07:10 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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It really depends on your daily schedule. I rarely have time to hang out with my friends because I work every day from 8 until 5 and then I take night classes at a community college. Busy busy. But they understand and we se each other during the weekend. I only comunicate with my friends once a week face to face. I don't really like talking to them on the phone because I always feel awkward but that's just me! Anyways, as long as you still talk to your friends like once a week and you are abel to see them, then it's no big deal. I do believe that effort in friendship is important though because friendships do die down...well in my case it did. I think talking to them once a week is fine. We are all busy in our lives with school and work and whenever they have social time,thenthat's when you girls can get together.
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Old 11-13-2011, 07:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Usually every weekend for me since thats the only time that I have off.
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Old 11-13-2011, 07:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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What ever works for you. There is nothing that you're "supposed" to do. Sometimes my friends invite me places and I don't go bc I have already been around them enough for one week. Some people like hanging out everyday, while others only like to hang out sometimes. I used to think I had to jump up and go out every time my friends called me. I would end up having a horrible time because I really didn't want to go in the first place. So now if I'd prefer to stay home and watch tv, I do just that. But of course it's good to get out of the house and interact with your friends, so as long as you make time for that every now and then you should be fine
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Old 11-13-2011, 07:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I also think it depends on how close you are. People tend to see their closest friends in person more often than average-level friends. I've noticed that you can also go the longest without talking to close friends and still maintain closeness, but with people you're just so so friends with, you need to talk to them more often to maintain your level of friendship or increase it.

I'm glad someone else thinks like this--with people that aren't my closest friends I often wonder how often to talk to them, see them, etc.
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Old 11-13-2011, 08:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix Rising View Post
I also think it depends on how close you are. People tend to see their closest friends in person more often than average-level friends. I've noticed that you can also go the longest without talking to close friends and still maintain closeness, but with people you're just so so friends with, you need to talk to them more often to maintain your level of friendship or increase it.

I'm glad someone else thinks like this--with people that aren't my closest friends I often wonder how often to talk to them, see them, etc.
yes, exactly.
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Old 11-13-2011, 09:55 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Well I can speak from my experience. Right now I feel that I have pretty bad SA so I don't want to hang out with friends ever. Prior to developing SA, I used to hang out with friends on average about once or twice a week, and talk on the phone or e-mail more frequently. In high school I had a friend that I hung out with almost everyday and we talked on the phone nightly. Now I can't possibly imagine that; the mere thought of that much interaction with someone makes me feel panicky....
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Old 11-13-2011, 09:59 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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It depends on what you like - some people go over to their friends house pretty much everyday - b/c of my s.a. i would go over every 2 weeks or so but I would still see them at school on the weekdays. There's really no rule on it so its more of an individual thing. So don't worry about it! : )
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
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It depends on what you like - some people go over to their friends house pretty much everyday - b/c of my s.a. i would go over every 2 weeks or so but I would still see them at school on the weekdays. There's really no rule on it so its more of an individual thing. So don't worry about it! : )
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:47 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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I don't think there is any "supposed to." It depends how busy you are, how busy they are, how far away you live from them, and how often you feel like it and they feel like it.
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Old 11-15-2011, 11:17 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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There is no definite answer that states how often you are supposed to hang out with friends. You may be looking for a definite answer because that's what you were taught in school. Something's either right or it's wrong. It doesn't work like that in the real world in many cases; the world is mostly shades of grey rather than black and white. There are some norms that are observable, however. You contact them as you feel the need to. But it isn't all about you, either. If they are going through a rough time, provide emotional support. There are many different levels of friends, too.

For the longest time I only had acquaintances. Then I started making more of an effort to strengthen some of these bonds. I invited them to certain outings every once in a while. This one friend I have seems to be on the needy side, for instance, so I will contact him every few days. This other friend I have is more laid back, so I contact him once a week, if that. This other friend who lives farther away we talk on the phone about once a month, lol. Even so, most of these meetings or outings are small talk or event-oriented. For the first time ever I currently have a friend that I contact every day. At least through text. If not, then we will ride over and see each other. And guess what? We don't always know what we're going to do. Just hanging out sometimes. Deeper than small talk, and not entirely event-oriented as sometimes we don't figure out what we'll do until the last minute. This is a different kind of friendship than I am used to. It seems to be presence-based. We actually enjoy each other's presence more than the event we're doing. We can be silent in each other's presence and be comfortable. This seems to be the world's definition of a deeper friendship which I am finally experiencing for the first time at age 23. Don't give up!
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Old 11-15-2011, 11:22 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I have one friend who I talk to and maybe see almost every day, and it's sort of tiring and not always a good thing if I get caught up in her drama. Space is good in a friendship.
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