how do you tell when someone thinks you're attractive? - Social Anxiety Forum
X

Download the SAS Android App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

X

Download the SAS iPhone App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

Help/FAQLog InJoin SAS
Go Back   Social Anxiety Forum > Recovery > Coping With Social Anxiety

Reply
Old 03-05-2010, 08:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
pikabird's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 65



Default how do you tell when someone thinks you're attractive?

...and they're not shy? i'm a really shy girl and i can't tell when guys like me... especially if they're outgoing because outgoing guys are more likely to treat everyone in a very open, friendly way and smile more. they also don't do that cutesy look and then look away thing like shy guys do.
what are some signs that a guy finds you attractive/is flirting? (...besides the obvious, like poking and complements) ? what is their body language/behavior usually like?
pikabird is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2010, 08:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
Prakas's Avatar
 
Status: Life sucks
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Delaware
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Posts: 1,735



Default

If they keep staring or glancing at you ;>. If they're like me, they'll look away soon you make eye contact, lol.
__________________
If life is so hard, then death must be easy.

Creed-Six Feet From the Edge

I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking...
Maybe six feet ain't so far down...

http://www.anxiety-disorders.ws
Prakas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2010, 09:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
kos
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Ontario
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 2,029



Default

idk, i guess they listen to you more then other people and you speak the same. Thats an important one. When two people hang out for awhile the person with the higher social status/skill will use words that the other person will pick up on and try and use them in coversation with you. Watch for that.
kos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2010, 09:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
ilikebooks's Avatar
 
Status: Not wearing pants
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ontario
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Posts: 387



Default

They stare at you more than normal (which is sometimes hard to tell with SA!) and find excuses to be around you. They'll either make fun of you a lot, or agree with everything that comes out of your mouth no matter how ridiculous it is.

Another thing to look for is how they position themselves. Basically, if their entire body is facing towards you and they feel a bit too close for comfort, they think you're cute. Or they don't understand the concept of personal space. Or both.
ilikebooks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2010, 12:29 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Malaysia
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Posts: 8



Default

Frequent eye contacts would be the no#1 indicator.And then maybe personal space invasion.

If an outgoing guy suddenly becomes all quiet or more relax in your presence, that could also be an indicator that the lively chap is actually attracted to you.

See, he's all friendly and open with people but clamped up when being around the girl he likes. Speaking from experience here because I used to be kind of outgoing (early high school days). Clowning around with some fellas but if there's a girl I like nearby, I suddenly became quiet like a mouse!
Bolics is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2010, 12:43 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 489



Default

I agree with those who say people who look at you a lot is usually a 100% certain of meaning they are attracted to you and like you. I am sure if there is a guy you like you would probably look over at him quite often.
Whereas people you're not attracted to you tend to never look over at those people.
Want2Bconfident is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2010, 01:09 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
Franky's Avatar
 
Status: Lost
Join Date: Nov 2008
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 337



Default

Ok well yeah if they keep looking at you...or if you've got to the stage where you're talking to them, they will probably keep talking to you and that and they might chuck in a flirtatious remark. I dunno actually cause I'm a guy and normally guys aren't into me! But yeah, if they are a really confident outgoing sort of guy they will probably just come up and talk to you and ask for your number and that.
__________________
"While there's life, there's hope" - Marcus Julius Cicero
Franky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2010, 10:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
AshCash's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: My Room
Gender: Female
Posts: 413



Default

Yeah looking at you is a big thing but also if they always end up around you a lot and are always coming up with ways of getting your attention,or if they look at you then look away really quickly and you notice them doing that a lot.
AshCash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 04:49 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
Status: User Requested Permanent Ban
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: City of Angels
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,692



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabird View Post
...and they're not shy? i'm a really shy girl and i can't tell when guys like me... especially if they're outgoing because outgoing guys are more likely to treat everyone in a very open, friendly way and smile more. they also don't do that cutesy look and then look away thing like shy guys do.
what are some signs that a guy finds you attractive/is flirting? (...besides the obvious, like poking and complements) ? what is their body language/behavior usually like?
You really, really can't tell on the inside?
LALoner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 05:18 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
tigerlilly's Avatar
 
Status: Kiss yourself goodbye
Join Date: Mar 2009
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Posts: 1,885



Default

some physical cues:
frequent eye contact
grooming, like adjusting clothing or fixing hair
dilated pupils
flushed cheeks
blinking a lot
sitting close to you
leaning in when you speak
touching your arm or shoulder often during conversation
__________________
I'd die if you only met my eyes before you passed by. Will you pause and break my heart?
tigerlilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 05:20 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
jessckuh's Avatar
 
Status: ☠ freakkk
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: in a Vintage Galaxy
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Posts: 529



Default

I knew my boyfriend liked me when he continuously looked at me and kept a gaze that was uncomfortable at first but then it felt warm. Then he also smiled and made "come here" gestures but I was much too timid at first. I feel that if a guy is really attracted to you he'd come up and let you know, my ex did the flirting for a while and then just walked right to me and said "Hey, you're cute"

I can see that a guy with SA wouldn't be able to that unless he got signals from you that you are attracted to him. we make it kind of hard on each other but thats how it is
__________________
If you've found love, than you got something. Letting some1 know you love them can get them through anything.
[L<3ve is everything.]
jessckuh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 06:48 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
Status: User Requested Permanent Ban
Join Date: Jan 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 4,306



Default

Glancing... at ugly looking strangers- or

Glancing at average looking strangers-

STARING at attractive strangers- or or or or or or

And yes I realise I used the same icon twice for ugly and attractive. It is an exception to the rule though
BetaBoy90 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 07:33 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
alohomora's Avatar
 
Status: wtf
Join Date: Apr 2009
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Posts: 419



Default

I don't know though, don't people look at unattractive or odd people too, like out of curiosity? Sometimes I look at people who are weird or quarky- not necessarily because I find them attractive- but because I'm curious about them.

If I'm feeling extra "looked at", I'll usually assume there's something weird about me that that makes them unable to look away. On the other hand, sometimes l think they're looking because they find me attractive- but it's always the "freak" kind of attractive: like that girl creature from Avatar might be considered "attractive" to most guys, but they wouldn't want to date her. They'd want someone of their "kind".

There's this guy in my class that I'm totally NOT attracted to but I keep wanting to observe him. His behavior is so foreign to me because he's so self-assured, crude, and aggressive. He's quite outgoing with everyone. I don't get him at all and in fact he kind of scares me, lol. But I still feel like I want to observe him because I want to figure out what makes him tick. I feel like he and I would have terrible chemistry together if we ever got to talking because his values and mine are are so different (and I don't even find him physically attractive, even though he's got a body that a good number of girls would consider "hot"). So yeah, I look at him but that doesn't indicate interest *shrugs*
__________________
life is one big social game
alohomora is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 07:39 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
alohomora's Avatar
 
Status: wtf
Join Date: Apr 2009
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Posts: 419



Default

Oh, one more thing. If an outgoing guy is really talkative around everyone and then is suddenly quiet around me, that would prove my self-concept that I'm a freak and even the socially confident and skilled guys don't know how to act around me! I can't fit in anywhere! Oh, the shyness misery!

__________________
life is one big social game
alohomora is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 07:52 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
Status: APRA
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Sylmar, California
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 248



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BetaBoy90 View Post
Glancing... at ugly looking strangers- or

Glancing at average looking strangers-

STARING at attractive strangers- or or or or or or

And yes I realise I used the same icon twice for ugly and attractive. It is an exception to the rule though
__________________
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou


Much to learn, you still have.
slkjao is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 07:54 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
Just Lurking's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,224



Default

Less time speculating about what might or might not be indicators from someone (which vary greatly from person to person - one person's "neutral" could be another's "head over heels")...

More time dropping your own hints and making a move to get things rolling~
__________________

Just Lurking is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 08:43 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
secretlyshecries's Avatar
 
Status: In hiding
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Australia
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Posts: 1,455



Default

pikabird, I love your avatar, hehe. And I don't really know what to add to this.. I'd say just when he looks at you a lot, like to the point where you catch him staring at you type thing.
secretlyshecries is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 09:40 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
Freiheit's Avatar
 
Status: o_O
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Posts: 5,408



Default

From my experience,

-they would try to touch you
-tease and say silly things to you to get your attention
-stare a bit, then look away
-say your name using a singing voice
-call you pretty outright
Freiheit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 12:23 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
la la land's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: IN YOUR ATTIC!!! (Stockport)
Gender: Male
Age: 42
Posts: 171



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tigerlilly View Post
some physical cues:
frequent eye contact
grooming, like adjusting clothing or fixing hair
dilated pupils
flushed cheeks
blinking a lot
sitting close to you
leaning in when you speak
touching your arm or shoulder often during conversation

Someone's been studying body langauge me thinks. Clever girl

I was going to reply, but tigerlilly's stole my thunder
__________________
DON'T COUNT THE DAYS

MAKE THE DAYS COUNT!

mohamed ali
la la land is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2010, 01:22 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
Monroee's Avatar
 
Status: roarrrr
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA.
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Posts: 4,811



Default

God, this is embarressing. There was this one guy last semester in my class that I had a feeling that he liked me. But he basically did the opposite of what you guys are saying. I sat right next to him (voluntarily) and he didn't have a problem with me being so close. But he was very outgoing, talked to the teacher and other girls that sat around him. But he never talked to me. When we would stand in a corner waiting for our class to start, I swear he always avoided eye contact with me. But for some reason I interpted it as him being too shy to look in my eyes. I don't know. Maybe I was wrong. Although one time, I was walking past him and he looked in my eyes, and I smiled haha.
__________________
-Save the Cheetah


earn free $ w/ my referral
Monroee is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I think she thinks I am ignoring her. Beryl Relationships 13 11-09-2008 10:54 PM
My professor thinks I'm serious Jenikyula Coping With Social Anxiety 12 10-23-2008 02:16 AM
who else thinks the same way as me soldierforchrist Spiritual Support 3 05-24-2008 11:49 PM
He just thinks I'm lazy Holz Frustration 0 03-17-2008 01:33 AM
Everyone thinks I'm cool soma Triumphs Over Social Anxiety 7 07-24-2006 03:14 PM

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:08 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® ©2000-2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.