how do you tell when someone thinks you're attractive? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 03-05-2010, 08:30 PM Thread Starter
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how do you tell when someone thinks you're attractive?

...and they're not shy? i'm a really shy girl and i can't tell when guys like me... especially if they're outgoing because outgoing guys are more likely to treat everyone in a very open, friendly way and smile more. they also don't do that cutesy look and then look away thing like shy guys do.
what are some signs that a guy finds you attractive/is flirting? (...besides the obvious, like poking and complements) ? what is their body language/behavior usually like?
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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 03-05-2010, 08:58 PM
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If they keep staring or glancing at you ;>. If they're like me, they'll look away soon you make eye contact, lol.

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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 03-05-2010, 09:15 PM
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idk, i guess they listen to you more then other people and you speak the same. Thats an important one. When two people hang out for awhile the person with the higher social status/skill will use words that the other person will pick up on and try and use them in coversation with you. Watch for that.
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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 03-05-2010, 09:28 PM
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They stare at you more than normal (which is sometimes hard to tell with SA!) and find excuses to be around you. They'll either make fun of you a lot, or agree with everything that comes out of your mouth no matter how ridiculous it is.

Another thing to look for is how they position themselves. Basically, if their entire body is facing towards you and they feel a bit too close for comfort, they think you're cute. Or they don't understand the concept of personal space. Or both.
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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 12:29 AM
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Frequent eye contacts would be the no#1 indicator.And then maybe personal space invasion.

If an outgoing guy suddenly becomes all quiet or more relax in your presence, that could also be an indicator that the lively chap is actually attracted to you.

See, he's all friendly and open with people but clamped up when being around the girl he likes. Speaking from experience here because I used to be kind of outgoing (early high school days). Clowning around with some fellas but if there's a girl I like nearby, I suddenly became quiet like a mouse!
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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 12:43 AM
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I agree with those who say people who look at you a lot is usually a 100% certain of meaning they are attracted to you and like you. I am sure if there is a guy you like you would probably look over at him quite often.
Whereas people you're not attracted to you tend to never look over at those people.
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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 01:09 AM
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Ok well yeah if they keep looking at you...or if you've got to the stage where you're talking to them, they will probably keep talking to you and that and they might chuck in a flirtatious remark. I dunno actually cause I'm a guy and normally guys aren't into me! But yeah, if they are a really confident outgoing sort of guy they will probably just come up and talk to you and ask for your number and that.

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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 03-06-2010, 10:13 PM
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Yeah looking at you is a big thing but also if they always end up around you a lot and are always coming up with ways of getting your attention,or if they look at you then look away really quickly and you notice them doing that a lot.
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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 04:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabird View Post
...and they're not shy? i'm a really shy girl and i can't tell when guys like me... especially if they're outgoing because outgoing guys are more likely to treat everyone in a very open, friendly way and smile more. they also don't do that cutesy look and then look away thing like shy guys do.
what are some signs that a guy finds you attractive/is flirting? (...besides the obvious, like poking and complements) ? what is their body language/behavior usually like?
You really, really can't tell on the inside?
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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 05:18 AM
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some physical cues:
frequent eye contact
grooming, like adjusting clothing or fixing hair
dilated pupils
flushed cheeks
blinking a lot
sitting close to you
leaning in when you speak
touching your arm or shoulder often during conversation

I'd die if you only met my eyes before you passed by. Will you pause and break my heart?
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post #11 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 05:20 AM
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I knew my boyfriend liked me when he continuously looked at me and kept a gaze that was uncomfortable at first but then it felt warm. Then he also smiled and made "come here" gestures but I was much too timid at first. I feel that if a guy is really attracted to you he'd come up and let you know, my ex did the flirting for a while and then just walked right to me and said "Hey, you're cute"

I can see that a guy with SA wouldn't be able to that unless he got signals from you that you are attracted to him. we make it kind of hard on each other but thats how it is

If you've found love, than you got something. Letting some1 know you love them can get them through anything.
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post #12 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 06:48 AM
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Glancing... at ugly looking strangers- or

Glancing at average looking strangers-

STARING at attractive strangers- or or or or or or

And yes I realise I used the same icon twice for ugly and attractive. It is an exception to the rule though
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post #13 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 07:33 AM
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I don't know though, don't people look at unattractive or odd people too, like out of curiosity? Sometimes I look at people who are weird or quarky- not necessarily because I find them attractive- but because I'm curious about them.

If I'm feeling extra "looked at", I'll usually assume there's something weird about me that that makes them unable to look away. On the other hand, sometimes l think they're looking because they find me attractive- but it's always the "freak" kind of attractive: like that girl creature from Avatar might be considered "attractive" to most guys, but they wouldn't want to date her. They'd want someone of their "kind".

There's this guy in my class that I'm totally NOT attracted to but I keep wanting to observe him. His behavior is so foreign to me because he's so self-assured, crude, and aggressive. He's quite outgoing with everyone. I don't get him at all and in fact he kind of scares me, lol. But I still feel like I want to observe him because I want to figure out what makes him tick. I feel like he and I would have terrible chemistry together if we ever got to talking because his values and mine are are so different (and I don't even find him physically attractive, even though he's got a body that a good number of girls would consider "hot"). So yeah, I look at him but that doesn't indicate interest *shrugs*

life is one big social game
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post #14 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 07:39 AM
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Oh, one more thing. If an outgoing guy is really talkative around everyone and then is suddenly quiet around me, that would prove my self-concept that I'm a freak and even the socially confident and skilled guys don't know how to act around me! I can't fit in anywhere! Oh, the shyness misery!


life is one big social game
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post #15 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 07:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BetaBoy90 View Post
Glancing... at ugly looking strangers- or

Glancing at average looking strangers-

STARING at attractive strangers- or or or or or or

And yes I realise I used the same icon twice for ugly and attractive. It is an exception to the rule though
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post #16 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 07:54 AM
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Less time speculating about what might or might not be indicators from someone (which vary greatly from person to person - one person's "neutral" could be another's "head over heels")...

More time dropping your own hints and making a move to get things rolling~

Everyone suffers...
Give the other person the benefit of the doubt...
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post #17 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 08:43 AM
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pikabird, I love your avatar, hehe. And I don't really know what to add to this.. I'd say just when he looks at you a lot, like to the point where you catch him staring at you type thing.
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post #18 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 09:40 AM
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From my experience,

-they would try to touch you
-tease and say silly things to you to get your attention
-stare a bit, then look away
-say your name using a singing voice
-call you pretty outright
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post #19 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 12:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigerlilly View Post
some physical cues:
frequent eye contact
grooming, like adjusting clothing or fixing hair
dilated pupils
flushed cheeks
blinking a lot
sitting close to you
leaning in when you speak
touching your arm or shoulder often during conversation

Someone's been studying body langauge me thinks. Clever girl

I was going to reply, but tigerlilly's stole my thunder

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MAKE THE DAYS COUNT!

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post #20 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 01:22 PM
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God, this is embarressing. There was this one guy last semester in my class that I had a feeling that he liked me. But he basically did the opposite of what you guys are saying. I sat right next to him (voluntarily) and he didn't have a problem with me being so close. But he was very outgoing, talked to the teacher and other girls that sat around him. But he never talked to me. When we would stand in a corner waiting for our class to start, I swear he always avoided eye contact with me. But for some reason I interpted it as him being too shy to look in my eyes. I don't know. Maybe I was wrong. Although one time, I was walking past him and he looked in my eyes, and I smiled haha.


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