Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Toronto, Canada
I've never hated myself but I sometimes feel sorry for myself. When I do, I always try to separate the "me" from the anxiety. I hate my anxiety. I like myself. I hate what I did when I was abusing drugs and lying, cheating, etc. But I have always been good at putting the blame on the disease (anxiety, drug addiction, etc.). I sometimes even blame society, others (e.g. parents, siblings) around me. And to be honest, I do feel part of the blame should be put there. Having said that, my psychiatrist always tells me not to blame myself, just the anxiety.
It was pretty easy for me, but then I never hated "me" just certain characteristics about me, like anxiety. If you had a heart abnormality, would you hate and punish yourself for it? Or just hate having the heart abnormality. Mental disease is no different, except that your irrational thoughts sometimes don't allow you to see this, I think. You basically hate your anxiety/depression, etc., not yourself. Not sure if this makes any sense.