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Old 11-14-2010, 02:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default How do you stop hating yourself?

Does anybody know?
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Old 11-14-2010, 02:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I'd like to know this too.
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Old 11-14-2010, 02:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Just block out the negative thoughts towards yourself and after awhile it will become automatic. It won't be overnnight though, it is gradual i believe. Have you heard of cognitive behavioural therapy?
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Old 11-14-2010, 02:57 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Ignore the outside influences that have caused you to hate yourself. Nobody is born with any kind of hate, it is developed and fostered inside due to outside influence. If we were born hating ourselves we wouldn't smile and enjoy life as babies.

I'm far from being any kind of expert, but it seems that most people who hate themselves point out things that people have said, or how they view other people and their lives.

Stop concerning yourself with others and their opinions and focus on your positives (everyone has SOMETHING good inside them).

I know it's much easier said than done, but it's usually a correct way of viewing the problem, at least from my experience and that of people I know.
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Old 11-14-2010, 02:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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For starters, try (the operative word) not to compare yourself to others.
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Old 11-14-2010, 03:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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I wish I knew . This is my biggest problem, most of my anxiety comes from my self-loathing, I just don't think its possible for me to like myself, I just know I never will.
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I've never hated myself but I sometimes feel sorry for myself. When I do, I always try to separate the "me" from the anxiety. I hate my anxiety. I like myself. I hate what I did when I was abusing drugs and lying, cheating, etc. But I have always been good at putting the blame on the disease (anxiety, drug addiction, etc.). I sometimes even blame society, others (e.g. parents, siblings) around me. And to be honest, I do feel part of the blame should be put there. Having said that, my psychiatrist always tells me not to blame myself, just the anxiety.

It was pretty easy for me, but then I never hated "me" just certain characteristics about me, like anxiety. If you had a heart abnormality, would you hate and punish yourself for it? Or just hate having the heart abnormality. Mental disease is no different, except that your irrational thoughts sometimes don't allow you to see this, I think. You basically hate your anxiety/depression, etc., not yourself. Not sure if this makes any sense.
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and say "Hey, who's that sexy badass?".

While normally this would make you a douchebag, if you have a low self-esteem (which I imagine everyone here has), then I consider it acceptable.

If someone calls you a douchebag, just tell em "You're just jealous cuz your not a sexy badass."
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I fear it's almost too late to hate myself. I'm just living my life for the hell of it. Don't care when I die. I trick myself into being happy but deep down I want to give up on everything.
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Well...you want to stop hating yourself? Okay, well, how are you hating yourself? What are you doing when you're hating yourself? What's the process? Looking for a general formula for this won't work because this is about the individual self and what the individual self needs. What you need.

Also consider that maybe the energy is focused onto what you don't want. You don't want to hate yourself. Well, okay, and you can become aware of the ways in which you go about hating yourself. But also, what do you want to feel? What do you want to feel, think, sense, know etc about yourself? Do you want to think you're amazing one hundred percent of the time? Do you want to think you're perfect? Do you want a general sense of trust, love and respect for yourself? What do you want to feel instead of hating yourself?

Blocking out the negative thoughts might help. But then again, in order to block it out you'd pretty much have to constantly acknowledge and entertain the negative thoughts in order to know when it's time to block them out and that's an awful lot of energy expense there. And, if those negative thoughts, voices or whatever keep shouting at you, keep talking to you, well...maybe they have something they want to say to you. Maybe they want your attention and maybe it's fine to give them and the part of you they come from the attention it might want or need. And you might discover how easy it is to do that without giving anything up and remaining safe, secure and in control of how you want to feel and how you do feel.

And you might like to remember those times when you've made a mistake and making that mistake helped you learn something new. And if making a mistake can lead to learning something new then maybe making mistakes isn't a bad thing. And maybe, if you have made mistakes in life and things haven't gone right then you can take the opportunity to forgive yourself for those mistakes.

And beyond that, therapy is a really good idea.
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:41 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I actually can proudly say I don't hate myself. I used to hate myself, until I really thought about why I don't have personal relationships like most other people. I've struggled through life because of a genetic disorder, something I was practically born with (Social Anxiety). I didn't tell God when I was a fetus, "Can I please have really bad social anxiety so I struggle through my life and have trouble making friends and establishing relationships?" I am the way I am because I have unchosen anxiety. If people like us had a choice of having anxiety or not, what do you think we'd choose? There is no point in hating for yourself for something you didn't choose to have. It's just bad luck.
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:46 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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i actually like myself but i still wanna self harm so IDK
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Ad of the day in the OP:

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Old 11-14-2010, 08:34 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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This is the basic problem with advice. No one really helps you when they say you need to love yourself first cuz there's no button on the back of your head to push and start loving.
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Old 11-14-2010, 08:40 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Stay busy. This is a better way to avoid thinking negative thoughts than trying to consciously block them.
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Old 11-15-2010, 03:18 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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i experience self-hatred from time to time. my self worth flactuates but at the end of the day i know that i am a good person and i don't inflict pain on anyone and i try to be the best person that i can be. if you know that you're a good person then there's no need to despise yourself. whatever problems that you have you can work through it. nothing in life is constant; your situation will change.

you should occupy yourself with work (if you have a job), hobbies/interests and etc. i've been feeling worthless about myself because i have the time to. i have nothing else to focus on so i end focusing on all my negative traits and end up loathing myself. i have a job offer so i hope it works out because i need to be busy and around people so i don't continue thinking bad thoughts about myself. you should join a club. do anything to keep yourself busy. being alone with one's thoughts can be dangerous.
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Old 11-15-2010, 04:03 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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do a competitive activity that you are good at. Then be better at it than anyone you know. So when you compare yourself to them or anyone else, you can say, hey at least i can *blank* better than you.
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Old 11-15-2010, 04:10 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Ahhh. The things some of the posts here are advocating are worrisome. Keep yourself busy/distracted so that you won't have to confront your thoughts?? So essentially run from your thoughts. Sounds like running from your problems, which isn't going to make them go away.

Unless you're ok with sort of leaving things unsettled I'd advocate not doing that. Yet, I don't know if there is an easy way to answer the question "How do you stop hating yourself?" It really depends on a lot of things.

But naturally, I think the first place to start would be to ask yourself why? Why do you hate yourself? Is it that you're unhappy with the way you look, behave, the things you like, etc.? Basically challenge that belief and determine if there is a reasonable basis for it? You could then ask what you can do about it? Generally there are two things you can always do about a situation: either you can change it or change the way you think about it.

It is hard to assess yourself in this fashion. Deep reflection is hard but I don't believe that to be any reason not to try.
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Old 11-15-2010, 11:45 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rija View Post
Ahhh. The things some of the posts here are advocating are worrisome. Keep yourself busy/distracted so that you won't have to confront your thoughts?? So essentially run from your thoughts. Sounds like running from your problems, which isn't going to make them go away.

Unless you're ok with sort of leaving things unsettled I'd advocate not doing that. Yet, I don't know if there is an easy way to answer the question "How do you stop hating yourself?" It really depends on a lot of things.

But naturally, I think the first place to start would be to ask yourself why? Why do you hate yourself? Is it that you're unhappy with the way you look, behave, the things you like, etc.? Basically challenge that belief and determine if there is a reasonable basis for it? You could then ask what you can do about it? Generally there are two things you can always do about a situation: either you can change it or change the way you think about it.

It is hard to assess yourself in this fashion. Deep reflection is hard but I don't believe that to be any reason not to try.
Unless deep reflection got you in this mess in the first place. After hours of typing on my computer reasons of why I hate myself and what to do and on and on and on, I finally decide to just stop and go for a walk and enjoy my day and think about things I enjoy, staying busy with working and music and whatever else I like to do.

In other words, it's good to be aware of your thought patterns and feelings, but not so aware that it consumes you.
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Old 11-15-2010, 12:03 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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I think the only way is just by accepting the problem and just letting it be (which can be really hard). Either that or fix/enhance the characteristics you hate about yourself. If that ain't enough then develop other qualities that would make you feel good about yourself.
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