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How do you stop hating people??

29K views 47 replies 36 participants last post by  slyfox 
#1 ·
I hate everyone. i dont have a reason, I just hate

how do i stop??


and when i try and interact with people and be there friend, they all ignore me, and yap about themself endlessly. and then i hate them more
 
#2 ·
ya know, its reaally hard to like people. people suck

animals are easy to like

is there anything people do that is likable??? anything at all??
 
#14 ·
ya know, its reaally hard to like people. people suck

animals are easy to like

is there anything people do that is likable??? anything at all??
For once buddy says something i agree with! Animals act according to their natural instinct, humans, however, have NO excuse for their actions. I used to go around saying i was racist, like you know how they say "one race the human race"? Well that's who I was racist against. I'd claim how, shoot, people aint done me nothing but wrong. Luckily i have a more tolerant and more forgiving view of people now, but it certainly wasn't of my own ability to do that.
 
#12 ·
Finally someone I can relate to.

I seem to grow more bitter by the day. Nothing goes right. I don't fit in. I'm bored out of my mind stuck in a hell on earth, yet I lack the energy or motivation needed to do anything to change. Change is simply too hard to accomplish. I didn't ask be be here; I didn't ask to be born; I didn't ask to have my mind mutilated by bullies and by clueless parents who had less social skills than a pack of wolves. I didn't asked to be screwed over by a brother who brought a plague upon my family in the form of a wife who did nothing but use our family as an ATM machine taking us for hundreds of thousands of dollars that I could have instead inherited. She'd still be on the payroll if he hadn't been fortunate enough to die to release himself from the grasp of her talons. My other brother is a drunken jerk who thinks the world revolves around him and doesn't bother to contact me unless he needs something out of me; I avoid his calls to say "screw you".
 
#9 ·
Yeah, I can relate, although I think it's kind of a survival mechanism, if you hate everyone from the get go, they can't hurt you or sth...
But thankfully, there really are people who turn out to be so nice that you feel really bad for thinking that about them. If you find just one person like that, it's worth it :)
 
#10 ·
I hate what capitalism has done to most people. It has taken everything good out of them and brainwashed them into being happy little consumer/workers concerned about themselves and themselves only. And willing to stab their fellow humans in the back on a whim. This is not human nature, this is the nature of the ruling capitalist class indoctrinated into the rest of us.

But like others have said, there are still people who cannot help but embrace the good natured and kind hearted side of humanity despite being part of the system. And then there are those who see the system for what it is and speak out. These two kinds of people, I like and respect.
 
#11 ·
When you realise you are the one with a social problem. Not being nasty, Im starting to accept it myself.

Even though most people still annoy me with their ignorance and arrogance. I have not given up hope that their is kind souls out there. I just havnt met them yet. (other than people I talk to online as most people I talk to online, as well as 99% people here I cannot fault) Im usually picky with people I talk to, I wish I wasnt.
 
#46 ·
When you realise you are the one with a social problem. Not being nasty, Im starting to accept it myself.

Even though most people still annoy me with their ignorance and arrogance. I have not given up hope that their is kind souls out there. I just havnt met them yet. Im usually picky with people I talk to, I wish I wasnt.
Yeah I have to agree with this. I used to hate everyone but that got tiring. You are just one of six billion other people on this morbid planet. As much as we'd like to, there's no way to escape from everyone.

I guess I'm a bit of a phony which I am ashamed to say. I talk politely to everyone but I'm actually really annoyed by them and I'm just dying to get away. But it's not like I trick them into thinking I like them as I'm never the one initiating the conversation. Ignorant people, ugh. One huge reason I am the way I am.
 
#17 ·
Yeah this is what I do myself. Example: I'm trying to get the nerve up to go to a support group thing, and before going I'm already thinking I won't like any of the people there. When not thinking that, I worry whether they will even acknowledge my existence...So either I will reject them or they will reject/ignore me. :um

But what you (& I) could do is try to peek around the wall to see if we can find any of those "diamonds in the rough" that another poster mentioned above.
 
#16 ·
I just try to remember that they can't really help themselves and everyone feels like they are doing the right thing anyway.

I mean, if you really think about it, nobody can help being a jerk any more then we can help having SA. The only way that you or other people can change is through understanding what is causing the problem and fixing that cause. Hating them only makes them hate you back and not want to be like you.
 
#19 ·
Read the words of Jesus. Even if you don't believe in him, he had some great things to say. The parable of the Good Samaritan, the Prodigal Son, etc.

Also read the book of 1st John.

I got bullied a lot in school and would have gone Columbine on someone if not for my christian upbringing.
 
#20 ·
I don't think you really hate people, AJ, it's just frustration.

The thing about SA is that other people are sometimes one factor (of several) in causing it- bullying in school, verbally or physically abusive family, whatever - so it seems like if the world were "fair", other people would go out of their way to recognize we'd been "wronged" and coax, cajole, flatter, charm, defer to, be endlessly patient with us to help us get over SA.

That doesn't happen (although there are a lot of helpful, understanding people). Everyone has their own issues - you have to forgive "people", in the abstract, for wronging you and then ignoring you. You have to reinstate social contact, harmony, positive relationships.
 
#21 ·
Sharks maim and kill just looking for something to eat (even when they don't have to and can just nudge like they do periodically at times).

Rhinos and elephants practice genocide against each other when both of them are vegetarians and they have a giant expanse of land.

Many creatures cannibalize each other and practice what seems like child-rape and incest regularly.

Sea fleas explode out of their mother's stomach after eating her a live.

Some birds fly to a nest and knock out the other eggs and put their eggs there, leaving the other parents to do all the work and raise their children--even though they are a bigger bird species and will require lots of care and attention.

=================================

Do you hate all of these animals?

Realize that what you hate about other people is really something you hate about yourself.

Otherwise you would be indifferent to it.
 
#22 ·
If you find the answer, then please tell me. I came home tonight from my part-time job as a cashier and felt such hatred towards people. It's all of the little things, from people throwing toilet paper on the bathroom floors to tailgating me on my way home. I want to move to a log cabin in the middle of the woods somewhere.

I really can't be myself. It's not an option because I wouldn't keep a job for long.
 
#28 ·
Our mentality sucks. I've been just as much of a prick to people in my life as anyone has been to me. If you have SA, it probably won't do much good to 'hate' everybody, because if you take it to its logical conclusion you'll be alone and miserable. Sure, I don't like what our society values in a lot of ways, but try to remember that everyone else is struggling in their own way, they are not out to get you or 'drive you to suicide' like one guy said. Get real. Last night I was buying booze, this guy parked next to me and I looked at him and thought 'What a bogan'(Aussie slang), but he waved me out when I couldn't see past his truck. The moral of this story is, judging is not going to help you in the long run. We hate ourselves more than anything, too bad for us.
 
#29 ·
I'd sit with the feeling for a while. Don't resist it or judge it or try to figure it out. You might learn something about what you hat, who you hate, why you hate, or whether you really hate at all.
 
#31 ·
I think you are referring to frustration and a bit of jealousy at something you feel is "normal". You have a lot to offer others, but the timing has to be right. Hang in there. :)
 
#32 ·
-People in general are under stress is something basic to believe first of all. And they don't mean harm, most of them do not. They have built up stress and haven't had a chance to relax or make good sense of it. Be compassionate and joke with them.

-but when they are on a phone working customer service and you have a problem with your bill then they are satan's minions. Don't hate them, get their name straight off and report them to their supervisor.

-Other people you have to be around all the time, look for some honest strengths they have and remember these things to like about them but don't offer too personal information and be polite. Remember you have to function with them, so do things that help this function remain with them including light personal conservation. Be appreciative of them outright for what you do appreciate.

-In any group you go into, a certain amount of people you are going to feel bad vibes from just from looking at them, or seeing them talking to others, or their eyes when you face them directly, it is inevitable. The trick is to figure it out before they do. They will sense that you sense their bad vibes but try not to let them sense that you sense them. When you feel the bad vibe and yet they have not done anything outright to you, force your freaking self to be extra friendly yet not offer anything too personal or bond with them. When you do that, you disarm them, and if they seem really nice do not trust it until they have earned that trust over time and you know where not to trust them. But if they seem evil and not just a bad vibe, then get away from them especially if you are in an isolated area.

I don't think its wrong to dislike people's actions or their negativity. Or to assert the truth to them which feels unpleasant to you. None of that is hate either. You might call it hate but that it is not the same thing. Hate is revenge or waiting for revenge and you have something is mind that has nothing to do with the original problem with them.
 
#33 ·
You can stick to yourself and you should be alright but don't close off all chance for you to meet the right types. I've met a few good souls on here, for example, and I occasionally see people doing random acts of kindness. Of course, it's a lot rarer, but there are good people out there.

I agree with Aurora, sometimes not being able to like has something to do with your own likeability also. There's a component of acceptance that comes with this and you need to realise that you are differtent from conventional society and that does not mean that you are not likeable, only that you will only ever be liked by certain types of people and vice versa.

To me, somebody who I like is somebody who is considerate, non-judgemental, unconceited, kind and insightful. It is also mandatory that I can talk to a person about almost anything without them thinking, 'man.. this guy is really out there..' Unfortunately though, how many people out there will fit into this description? The answer is: (well in my life anyway) not a whole bunch.
 
#34 ·
hating other people is hating yourself. Things you hate about other people are things you hate in yourself. The stronger the hatred you have for other people the stronger the hate you have for yourself. Probably your hatred for other people is linked to your socail anxiety because that hateful dialogue you have in you head towards other poeple is also playing about yourself. People who are very comfortable in their skin are very compassionate and loving people people who are very uncomfortable are hateful. I'm totally like this too. Im a huge narcissist i would always tell myself oh those people dont deserve happiness i do. BUt the reason they dont desereve happiness is the same reason that i dont deserve it so i always have to be better than everyone else to be worhty or to get my happiness. I find that when i start giving people what i want (for example if i see a pretty girl and am jealous instead of trying to suck my stomach in and be all superior i will say in my head oh shes really pretty good for her or something like that) i get it second hand because if i say that you deserve it then i desereve it as well.
 
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