How do you make friends if you have none? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 12:40 AM Thread Starter
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How do you make friends if you have none?

Has anyone had success with this? Wouldn't people think it's odd once they find out you have no friends? Is it like you have to have friends to make friends?
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 02:54 AM
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Most people are inherently self-centered and don't tend to think about what other social life you might have. In practice, most are only really concerned about your immediate interactions with them. If someone is overly concerned about your number of friends, they probably aren't worth your time anyway.

I would say that it's difficult in middle and high school because of the relatively compact size of student bodies. However, it becomes easier after K-12, because people can no longer be bothered to "keep track" of others' social lives.

In new situations, the best idea is to introduce yourself to people right away. I've found that unless you introduce yourself right away, it becomes practically impossible to befriend them later. If a new person invites you to something and you actually want to be their friend, you should go for it. No matter how much you don't want to go or how little you end up conversing, it will still portray you in a much more positive light. In my first year at university, I turned down an pub invitation, and it never came again from anyone on that floor!
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 02:57 AM
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I sorta agree.. all though I"m not the right person to ask. I have no friends either.. IMO..(if you like dogs in the slightest).. get a pitbull(american staff) or a pit/mix... You'll never find a better friend in the world. I just lost mine of 5 years.. super sad story... We had 2 dogs (now one).. dogs are great in general.. but with someone from an sas group. These dogs(pits) read your insides and outs and are more loyal then any other dog and want to do nothing but please there lead owner. Good news.. were going to pick up a beautiful 4 month old pup today!!!!! (if you ever consider the dog, don't believe the media and do your own research. Main thing is exercise and socialization.) Sorry I'm just so stoked about getting this dog imo opinions these dogs make the best friends (dogs in general) they are always happy to see you no matter your mood. they never mistreat you. they just want to be loved. they have a 6th since (ie pych service dogs) and have an understanding with you like no other will. If you spend the time you will have the most loyal friend you can imagine and a wonderful bond. http://seminoleheights.patch.com/art...ts-with-ptsd-3
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 02:58 AM
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they also don't judge you because of your "odd" anxiety and social skills..
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 02:58 AM
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make up a story about moving around a lot so you could never keep friends for long
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 03:12 AM
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i moved to a new area and had no friends. i met ppl through meetup. there is a local anxiety group, which made it easy. and there is a local friendship group, which ppl go to because they want new friends i guess, so its normal to have no friends and just tag along.


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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 03:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andy1984 View Post
i moved to a new area and had no friends. i met ppl through meetup. there is a local anxiety group, which made it easy. and there is a local friendship group, which ppl go to because they want new friends i guess, so its normal to have no friends and just tag along.
wow sounds like a nice community to have such things available.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 05:38 AM
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make up a story about moving around a lot so you could never keep friends for long
Haha...this is actually true for me. But it's not because of the above reason that I don't have any friends at all, I tend to avoid social situations. I've had no friends for 8 years.... Even if I did meet somebody, I can't go on with the conversation and run out of things to say due to severe anxiety(don't know how to "be myself" in front of others,etc) and lack of social skills, which I have currently started to build up on.
But hey, I could still use this reason for not having any friends
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 06:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Grimsey View Post
Most people are inherently self-centered and don't tend to think about what other social life you might have. In practice, most are only really concerned about your immediate interactions with them. If someone is overly concerned about your number of friends, they probably aren't worth your time anyway.

I would say that it's difficult in middle and high school because of the relatively compact size of student bodies. However, it becomes easier after K-12, because people can no longer be bothered to "keep track" of others' social lives.

In new situations, the best idea is to introduce yourself to people right away. I've found that unless you introduce yourself right away, it becomes practically impossible to befriend them later. If a new person invites you to something and you actually want to be their friend, you should go for it. No matter how much you don't want to go or how little you end up conversing, it will still portray you in a much more positive light. In my first year at university, I turned down an pub invitation, and it never came again from anyone on that floor!
How do you introduce yourself to other people?
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 07:39 AM
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Tricky situation...

Tell me how if you find out
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 09:06 AM
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Re: How do you make friends if you have none?

I haven't made friends in the longest time. The people who are my friends, I have no idea how I became friends with them seeing as I'm so anxious. Obviously, some suspension of scientific laws of the universe occurred to allow these things to happen, but the fragility of the fabric of the universe can take no more warping and so it doesn't occur anymore.

Even the friends I do have, though, I'm not very tight with. I'm kind of the "outsider" of my group as when I am near them, they are constantly talking about events/inside jokes I wasn't around for and not inviting me to future events. And this other friend I have. she's real nice and a lot more considerate than my other friends, but all she ever does is talk about herself and her relationships and whatnot and it just drains me.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-23-2012, 04:13 AM
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Originally Posted by unknown234 View Post
How do you introduce yourself to other people?
It depends on the situation. For example, if it's a new job, it could be as simple as saying "Hi, my name is so-and-so" to the adjacent neighbors right away. You don't even have to expand on that, unless they start interrogating you.

It might be similar in a new university residence, for example, "Hi, I'm your neighbor, so-and-so." I'm always amazed at how much of a difference quick introductions make in people's perceptions of you. I suppose it has something to do with first impressions.
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