Social Anxiety Support

Rosey · 08-29-2009, 09:48 AM

I was on an art website last night and simply pointed out something that I noticed about an artist's work. What I thought was a simply observation had turned into a bunch of people getting mad at me. After much responding, the issue was solved.

It feels good to have the misunderstanding settled but the thought of people being able to reread the argument over and over just has me on constant watch at the art website. I just want to see if anybody else is going to respond to my comment again despite the issue being over. I also feel a bit worried about going to that artist's page again.

I guess this feeling could be compared to how much I worry when I get involved in some argument in class where a lot of people stop what they are doing to either participate or just listen. It makes me wonder what people think of me after the argument and I feel worried about coming to class again.

So has anybody been in a situation like this before?

dunky · 08-29-2009, 10:12 AM

It's the internet. Get over it.

Rosey · 08-29-2009, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunky

It's the internet. Get over it.

I guess. I do compare talking to people on the internet like talking to people face to face. It was pretty funny how people thought I was trying to be insulting. I think the fact that I said that I was confused as to why they were yelling at me had got them to stop.

For some reason, I feel happy for participating in the argument instead of ignoring the replies.

Iced Soul · 08-29-2009, 10:52 AM

I've been in that situation a few times. I argue, then I forget it, usually.
While dunky says to 'get over it', some people only communicate with others on the internet or they just tend to think of the people behind the words as... people, so it might mean a bit more to them than it might to you.
Anyway, I find when you criticize someone's work, on the internet, at least, they seem to almost always have some following. And if one gets wind that someone doesn't like the art, a bunch of people run to defend that artist and their work, even if it's not good. Be proud that you responded, a lot of people don't have the courage to respond to their opinions.

Now, me, it depends on the argument and if I really feel it's worth it. If it's something about if a Jonas brother looks good or something(this actually happened on youtube), I'll say my opinion and ignore all the 12 year old kids who think I'm 'crazy' because I don't agree. No offense to people who think the Jonas brothers look good and who aren't 12. That type of argument doesn't mean much to me, in fact, I'll think it's hilarious that someone would argue with me about it.

Rosey · 08-29-2009, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iced Soul

Anyway, I find when you criticize someone's work, on the internet, at least, they seem to almost always have some following. And if one gets wind that someone doesn't like the art, a bunch of people run to defend that artist and their work, even if it's not good. Be proud that you responded, a lot of people don't have the courage to respond to their opinions.

I just can't bring myself to think of people behind the computer as anything other than people. That's exactly what happened on that website. A bunch of the artist's fans stepped in to inform the artist of what I said so she could respond to me personally. People with a bunch of fans do tend to get worshiped in a way. I have not seen anything other than "good job" or "you're so awesome" on her work so it was no wonder that my comment pulled the most attention. The funny thing is that I was actually praising her work after making the observation that nobody esle seemed to have noticed.

I really do feel better for settling down the argument despite my nerves going crazy. Just a few moments ago, I was on Youtube looking at funny internet videos and I forgot all about the art website. It was a pretty good feeling.

shyvr6 · 08-29-2009, 02:25 PM

I usually just keep making my points until someone stops responding. The best thing to do though would probably be to ignore the thread.

Jeff · 08-29-2009, 03:55 PM

My first thought, and please don't take this the wrong way, is did you post on here specifically because of that incident? Or because you have s.a.d.?

Now to your situation. Internet discussion forums are much different from the real world, imo. I've been on countless discussion forums, for everything under sun (sports, computers, s.a., health, fitness, politics, etc, etc.). And if there is one thing I've learned, its that discussion forums all seem to have these things in common:

1) Usually a small number of 'regulars' who seem to think it's their job to police the boards and jump all over newbie's.
2) Lots of insecure troubled people, which in turn leads to more arguments.
3) clique's

I've learned not to take it seriously. Yes the people on the other side are human beings, but internet communication has its own set of rules imo. You just can't take it seriously or let it be part of your reality. Because it's not reality. (In the real world, it's highly unlikely you would ever get 'that' many insecure people together in one place and in such an anonymous format).

*I will say though that this site is leaps and bounds better than most. Probably because everyone here is pretty much in the same boat, there is 'usually' a lot of kindness between posters.

Rosey · 08-29-2009, 04:23 PM

I actually used to be a member here long ago. I worked on my anxiety throughout the years but there are some things that I still need to learn how to deal with. I forgot the email, name, and password I had for this website so I just made a new account.

Yeah I stopped going to that thread and decided to focus on my own page. Insecure is definitely the word for those people. It doesn't really bother me that much anymore. I actually find the situation a lot funnier now. I have never gotten so worked up about criticism on my work in real life or the internet so I was bit surprised by her and her fans' responses. So I guess this was my first time being in a situation like that.

I guess this site has not changed. That's nice to know.

ruinMYlife · 08-29-2009, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunky

It's the internet. Get over it.

its s/a get over it

UKPhobe · 08-29-2009, 04:36 PM

I rarely bother with them anymore TBH.

Trouble with the net is it's very easy to misinterpret the other persons tone or intent. So from your perspective it might seem like that person is being deliberately nasty, he/she might actually be trying to be genuinely helpful.

Rosey · 08-29-2009, 04:42 PM

Yeah I understand that. Some people realized that they read my post wrong and backed off. I guess the reasons for econs was for people to understand things better on the internet.

UKPhobe · 08-29-2009, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosey

Yeah I understand that. Some people realized that they read my post wrong and backed off. I guess the reasons for econs was for people to understand things better on the internet.

It's probably also worth remembering that you could be being trolled i suppose or that they've got you down as a troll. It's gotten so common now that paranoia seems to be pretty rampant around the net.

Rosey · 08-29-2009, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UKPhobe

It's probably also worth remembering that you could be being trolled i suppose or that they've got you down as a troll. It's gotten so common now that paranoia seems to be pretty rampant around the net.

Yeah, that can always be a possibility. I'll just laugh if that happens.

Dipper · 08-29-2009, 08:46 PM

For some reason I can't take stuff on the internet as seriously as I do "real life." People feel stronger behind the comfort and safety of their computer monitors and will say stuff that they normally wouldn't say to someone's face. So with that in mind, if anyone wants to get pissed with me over the internet, it's really easy for me to shrug it off.

inna sense · 08-29-2009, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosey

Yeah I stopped going to that thread and decided to focus on my own page.

can you give me a link to your page?...and can you pm me a link to the argument?...i wanna see what all the fuss is about

outcast69 · 08-29-2009, 09:09 PM

Everyone has a different point of view,no matter what you say,your always going to hear that other view.

millenniumman75 · 08-29-2009, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dunky

It's the internet. Get over it.

Nice.

We have moderators here to handle things if it gets to be too much.

UKPhobe · 08-29-2009, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dipper

People feel stronger behind the comfort and safety of their computer monitors and will say stuff that they normally wouldn't say to someone's face.

You deserve a bloody medal for pointing that out. I've said this for ages!!

Iced Soul · 08-29-2009, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UKPhobe

You deserve a bloody medal for pointing that out. I've said this for ages!!

I always thought what he said was common knowledge.

PickleNose · 08-30-2009, 05:59 AM

What I usually do is attempt to remain calm and make sensible arguments. If things get out of hand, I usually simply stop responding before it gets really crazy. Unfortunately, you can't smash someone in the face with a cast iron frying pan over the internet or I'd probably be in jail somewhere.

08-29-2009, 09:48 AM	#1 (permalink)
Rosey Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 10	How Do You Handel Internet Arguements? I was on an art website last night and simply pointed out something that I noticed about an artist's work. What I thought was a simply observation had turned into a bunch of people getting mad at me. After much responding, the issue was solved. It feels good to have the misunderstanding settled but the thought of people being able to reread the argument over and over just has me on constant watch at the art website. I just want to see if anybody else is going to respond to my comment again despite the issue being over. I also feel a bit worried about going to that artist's page again. I guess this feeling could be compared to how much I worry when I get involved in some argument in class where a lot of people stop what they are doing to either participate or just listen. It makes me wonder what people think of me after the argument and I feel worried about coming to class again. So has anybody been in a situation like this before?

08-29-2009, 10:52 AM	#4 (permalink)
Iced Soul Status: Dancing on Rainbows Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Calilalaland Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 1,775	I've been in that situation a few times. I argue, then I forget it, usually. While dunky says to 'get over it', some people only communicate with others on the internet or they just tend to think of the people behind the words as... people, so it might mean a bit more to them than it might to you. Anyway, I find when you criticize someone's work, on the internet, at least, they seem to almost always have some following. And if one gets wind that someone doesn't like the art, a bunch of people run to defend that artist and their work, even if it's not good. Be proud that you responded, a lot of people don't have the courage to respond to their opinions. Now, me, it depends on the argument and if I really feel it's worth it. If it's something about if a Jonas brother looks good or something(this actually happened on youtube), I'll say my opinion and ignore all the 12 year old kids who think I'm 'crazy' because I don't agree. No offense to people who think the Jonas brothers look good and who aren't 12. That type of argument doesn't mean much to me, in fact, I'll think it's hilarious that someone would argue with me about it. __________________ I scraped my knees while I was praying And found a demon in my safest haven. Seems like, it's getting harder to believe in anything Than just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts. I wanna know what it'd be like To find perfection in my pride To see nothing in the light Just turn it off In all my spite, in all my spite, I'll turn it off. - Turn It Off - Paramore http://twitter.com/MissEerie

08-29-2009, 02:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
shyvr6 Status: Makin Waves Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Somewhere on a map. Gender: Male Posts: 9,645	I usually just keep making my points until someone stops responding. The best thing to do though would probably be to ignore the thread. __________________ Music

08-29-2009, 10:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
dunky Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Texas Gender: Male Posts: 99	It's the internet. Get over it.

08-29-2009, 03:55 PM	#7 (permalink)
Jeff Status: Living on Hope Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Florida Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 223	My first thought, and please don't take this the wrong way, is did you post on here specifically because of that incident? Or because you have s.a.d.? Now to your situation. Internet discussion forums are much different from the real world, imo. I've been on countless discussion forums, for everything under sun (sports, computers, s.a., health, fitness, politics, etc, etc.). And if there is one thing I've learned, its that discussion forums all seem to have these things in common: 1) Usually a small number of 'regulars' who seem to think it's their job to police the boards and jump all over newbie's. 2) Lots of insecure troubled people, which in turn leads to more arguments. 3) clique's I've learned not to take it seriously. Yes the people on the other side are human beings, but internet communication has its own set of rules imo. You just can't take it seriously or let it be part of your reality. Because it's not reality. (In the real world, it's highly unlikely you would ever get 'that' many insecure people together in one place and in such an anonymous format). *I will say though that this site is leaps and bounds better than most. Probably because everyone here is pretty much in the same boat, there is 'usually' a lot of kindness between posters.

08-29-2009, 04:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
Rosey Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 10	I actually used to be a member here long ago. I worked on my anxiety throughout the years but there are some things that I still need to learn how to deal with. I forgot the email, name, and password I had for this website so I just made a new account. Yeah I stopped going to that thread and decided to focus on my own page. Insecure is definitely the word for those people. It doesn't really bother me that much anymore. I actually find the situation a lot funnier now. I have never gotten so worked up about criticism on my work in real life or the internet so I was bit surprised by her and her fans' responses. So I guess this was my first time being in a situation like that. I guess this site has not changed. That's nice to know.

08-29-2009, 04:36 PM	#10 (permalink)
UKPhobe Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Southampton, UK Gender: Male Posts: 267	I rarely bother with them anymore TBH. Trouble with the net is it's very easy to misinterpret the other persons tone or intent. So from your perspective it might seem like that person is being deliberately nasty, he/she might actually be trying to be genuinely helpful.

08-29-2009, 04:42 PM	#11 (permalink)
Rosey Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 10	Yeah I understand that. Some people realized that they read my post wrong and backed off. I guess the reasons for econs was for people to understand things better on the internet.

08-29-2009, 08:46 PM	#14 (permalink)
Dipper Status: PASTAMANIA BROTHER Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 285	For some reason I can't take stuff on the internet as seriously as I do "real life." People feel stronger behind the comfort and safety of their computer monitors and will say stuff that they normally wouldn't say to someone's face. So with that in mind, if anyone wants to get pissed with me over the internet, it's really easy for me to shrug it off.

08-29-2009, 09:09 PM	#16 (permalink)
outcast69 Status: Comfortably Numb Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Philly Gender: Male Posts: 230	Everyone has a different point of view,no matter what you say,your always going to hear that other view.

08-30-2009, 05:59 AM	#20 (permalink)
PickleNose Status: Too shy to be here Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: USA Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 598	What I usually do is attempt to remain calm and make sensible arguments. If things get out of hand, I usually simply stop responding before it gets really crazy. Unfortunately, you can't smash someone in the face with a cast iron frying pan over the internet or I'd probably be in jail somewhere.