Social Anxiety Support

Kimaris · 07-02-2009, 11:30 AM

What do you do to cope with the loneliness caused by SA. Alot of the time I can go a while with out experiencing it. When I do experience it I crash hard especially when I realize how alone I really am. I just feel like smashing my head against the wall to see how many years alone I've wasted.

babines · 07-02-2009, 11:37 AM

As weird as it sounds, I like sleeping

(and don't like waking up cause then I realize how lonely I am). I'm a musician and a writer so most of the time I play some music or I write... allows me not to think about it.

Tangent · 07-02-2009, 11:46 AM

The short answer is "barely".

Much like the above poster, sometimes it is not on my mind...when it is, I can get very depressed.

I also write to distract myself. I also took up several "hobbies" that do not require interaction with other people, consume vast amounts of time and thought, and have nothing to do with my life to distract myself from my own solitary existence - like chess :P

Louis · 07-02-2009, 11:51 AM

I mostly play video games or sleep with my dog, it can be a *****, it seems even if Im having a good couple months and seeing someone the loneliness still gets me

Toad Licker · 07-02-2009, 02:01 PM

I play a lot of video games online, I have several people I play with. I know it's not much but I guess it's better than nothing for now.

tigerlilly · 07-02-2009, 02:02 PM

i go out to coffee shops or whatever and pretend i'm normal. or i read, or listen to my ipod, or practice piano or guitar, or play with my puppy. just anything distracting. also, SAS chat makes me feel social and normal-ish.

Canadian Brotha · 07-02-2009, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by babines

As weird as it sounds, I like sleeping

(and don't like waking up cause then I realize how lonely I am). I'm a musician and a writer so most of the time I play some music or I write... allows me not to think about it.

When the time comes the I feel lonely the above post pretty much sums up how I deal. Talk radio podcasts about things that interest my are nice too, makes for the feeling on an interesting conversation even though I'm not saying anything

AudreyHepburn · 07-02-2009, 03:01 PM

WATCH MOVIES. That helps me immeasurably. Listen to music, go on SAS, talk to Only Friend on the phone, write screenplays....

LostPancake · 07-02-2009, 03:16 PM

live in my imagination. it almost works.

mrfixit · 07-02-2009, 03:21 PM

i can cope with it most of the time. the days that i feel the loneliest though is during holidays. but maybe i can find someone who is also lonely soon so we can be lonely together. i've been talking to this female over chat (from my city) and so far everythings going good. hopefully i can open up and tell her about my SA before it shows it's ugly face and screws things up.

Neptunus · 07-02-2009, 03:23 PM

The internet and prayer.

mardy423 · 07-02-2009, 04:56 PM

When you dont have a job or a car, and all you do is sit in the house all day everyday, it kinda gets nuts. Sometimes I cry, play video games to distract myself, I sleep, I search for work, I lay with my dog, I attempt to call old friends, who they themselfs no longer want anything to do with me, and that makes it so much worse for me, knowing your old friends really hate you because they think your a loser because of your SA.

solasum · 07-02-2009, 05:11 PM

It's not always as bad as it is right now because I'm studying abroad and am an outsider even among outsiders. I'm trying to cope by remembering that I'm in a beautiful city and that it will be over soon and that someday (hopefully) I will no longer be so alone. I actually got really drunk for the first time in my life this evening and realized that I'm mostly the same as when I'm bitterly sober - except that my vision is slow and blurry and I talk slower. I still keep my thoughts to myself, except I'm more paranoid and misanthropic. Strange thing is that I'm nearly as socially anxious as before, but I just don't care what anyone thinks at that point at the same time. I have yet to make sense of this. I probably shouldn't write posts like this at 2 am when I'm still kinda drunk. First real time, though.

Crystalline · 07-02-2009, 05:37 PM

I talk to people online. It helps a lot, since I lost most of my (local) friends.

VIncymon · 07-02-2009, 05:52 PM

I delve into a project, whether it be school work or a hobby, anything to keep my mind occupied. Idleness gives me to much time to contemplate my lack of social competence.

STKinTHEmud · 07-02-2009, 05:57 PM

Besides what was already mentioned, I sometimes like to go somewhere where there are people hanging out. I usually go to the beach and take a walk or stay on campus (after classes/workouts) and lie in the grass.

rawrboy64 · 07-02-2009, 07:14 PM

I usually just watch T.V., go on the internet, and listen to music until my ears bleed (not literally btw).

Pelicanbay · 07-02-2009, 07:25 PM

i dont know because it various for each person but one thing that has made me feel alot better is writing my thoughts down, like a man diary lol

get yourself a notebook and start writing what you think, it helps, so when your in a better space, you can see how far you have come when you read pages when you felt like sh*t

solasum · 07-03-2009, 02:15 PM

I try to hang in there, looking forward to a near-future event, such as travelling or something. That and thinking that life will change one day.

april showers · 07-03-2009, 04:24 PM

I tend to write and listen to music. Watching T.V and drinking coffee/tea/whatever helps too. Lately I've had it with being stuck inside the house due to my lack of job/friends so I started volunteering. It helps me get out of the house and feel better about doing something productive, so you can try that too.

07-02-2009, 11:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
Kimaris Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 19	How do you cope with the loneliness. What do you do to cope with the loneliness caused by SA. Alot of the time I can go a while with out experiencing it. When I do experience it I crash hard especially when I realize how alone I really am. I just feel like smashing my head against the wall to see how many years alone I've wasted. __________________ skype: Darinicus

07-02-2009, 11:37 AM	#2 (permalink)
babines Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Montreal, Canada Gender: Female Posts: 41	As weird as it sounds, I like sleeping (and don't like waking up cause then I realize how lonely I am). I'm a musician and a writer so most of the time I play some music or I write... allows me not to think about it. __________________ Relationships. Sure there are plenty of other fish in the sea. But you're not anywhere near the sea. You're in the desert. Alone.

07-02-2009, 11:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
Tangent Status: Cynical Misanthrope Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: N.E. England Gender: Male Age: 18 Posts: 297	The short answer is "barely". Much like the above poster, sometimes it is not on my mind...when it is, I can get very depressed. I also write to distract myself. I also took up several "hobbies" that do not require interaction with other people, consume vast amounts of time and thought, and have nothing to do with my life to distract myself from my own solitary existence - like chess :P __________________ http://journalofasadact.blogspot.com/ - The daily goings on of a socially anxious dyspraxic pariah. http://asininerants.blogspot.com/ - The social, political, religious and miscellaneous musings of the above. Facebook - Add me!

07-02-2009, 02:01 PM	#5 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 29,022	I play a lot of video games online, I have several people I play with. I know it's not much but I guess it's better than nothing for now. __________________ All will wither, go to sleep The ones you love you may not keep All you touch will fall apart The dreams you kill will break your heart There's no mercy, there's no rest The void will scream within your chest No one knows and no one will So leave this place that makes you Ill - Madder Mortem

07-02-2009, 02:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
tigerlilly Status: love is a place Join Date: Mar 2009 Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 970	i go out to coffee shops or whatever and pretend i'm normal. or i read, or listen to my ipod, or practice piano or guitar, or play with my puppy. just anything distracting. also, SAS chat makes me feel social and normal-ish. __________________ nothing but blue skies, passageways to windows that don't close.

07-02-2009, 11:51 AM	#4 (permalink)
Louis Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Toronto Gender: Male Posts: 14	I mostly play video games or sleep with my dog, it can be a *****, it seems even if Im having a good couple months and seeing someone the loneliness still gets me

07-02-2009, 03:16 PM	#9 (permalink)
LostPancake Status: ghostly Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: an endless labyrinth Gender: Male Age: 40 Posts: 761	live in my imagination. it almost works.

07-02-2009, 03:21 PM	#10 (permalink)
mrfixit Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 274	i can cope with it most of the time. the days that i feel the loneliest though is during holidays. but maybe i can find someone who is also lonely soon so we can be lonely together. i've been talking to this female over chat (from my city) and so far everythings going good. hopefully i can open up and tell her about my SA before it shows it's ugly face and screws things up.

07-02-2009, 03:23 PM	#11 (permalink)
Neptunus Status: Spam! Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 2,690	The internet and prayer. __________________ "When I stand before thee at the day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing." ~Rabindranath Tagore "Being gentle means forgiving yourself when you mess up. We should learn from our mistakes, but we shouldn't beat the tar out of ourselves over them. The past is just that, past. Learn what went wrong and why. Make amends if you need to. Then drop it and move on." ---Sean Covey

07-02-2009, 04:56 PM	#12 (permalink)
mardy423 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Georgia Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 241	When you dont have a job or a car, and all you do is sit in the house all day everyday, it kinda gets nuts. Sometimes I cry, play video games to distract myself, I sleep, I search for work, I lay with my dog, I attempt to call old friends, who they themselfs no longer want anything to do with me, and that makes it so much worse for me, knowing your old friends really hate you because they think your a loser because of your SA.

07-02-2009, 05:11 PM	#13 (permalink)
solasum Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 904	It's not always as bad as it is right now because I'm studying abroad and am an outsider even among outsiders. I'm trying to cope by remembering that I'm in a beautiful city and that it will be over soon and that someday (hopefully) I will no longer be so alone. I actually got really drunk for the first time in my life this evening and realized that I'm mostly the same as when I'm bitterly sober - except that my vision is slow and blurry and I talk slower. I still keep my thoughts to myself, except I'm more paranoid and misanthropic. Strange thing is that I'm nearly as socially anxious as before, but I just don't care what anyone thinks at that point at the same time. I have yet to make sense of this. I probably shouldn't write posts like this at 2 am when I'm still kinda drunk. First real time, though.

07-02-2009, 05:37 PM	#14 (permalink)
Crystalline Status: Tempestade Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Manila, Philippines Gender: Female Posts: 130	I talk to people online. It helps a lot, since I lost most of my (local) friends.

07-02-2009, 05:52 PM	#15 (permalink)
VIncymon Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 698	I delve into a project, whether it be school work or a hobby, anything to keep my mind occupied. Idleness gives me to much time to contemplate my lack of social competence.

07-02-2009, 05:57 PM	#16 (permalink)
STKinTHEmud Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: CA Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 335	Besides what was already mentioned, I sometimes like to go somewhere where there are people hanging out. I usually go to the beach and take a walk or stay on campus (after classes/workouts) and lie in the grass.

07-02-2009, 07:14 PM	#17 (permalink)
rawrboy64 Status: trying to survive college Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: la la land, CA Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 141	I usually just watch T.V., go on the internet, and listen to music until my ears bleed (not literally btw).

07-02-2009, 07:25 PM	#18 (permalink)
Pelicanbay Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 153	i dont know because it various for each person but one thing that has made me feel alot better is writing my thoughts down, like a man diary lol get yourself a notebook and start writing what you think, it helps, so when your in a better space, you can see how far you have come when you read pages when you felt like sh*t

07-03-2009, 02:15 PM	#19 (permalink)
solasum Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 904	I try to hang in there, looking forward to a near-future event, such as travelling or something. That and thinking that life will change one day.

07-03-2009, 04:24 PM	#20 (permalink)
april showers Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 68	I tend to write and listen to music. Watching T.V and drinking coffee/tea/whatever helps too. Lately I've had it with being stuck inside the house due to my lack of job/friends so I started volunteering. It helps me get out of the house and feel better about doing something productive, so you can try that too.