Social Anxiety Support

filledwithfear1 · 11-01-2009, 08:16 PM

topic

Moon Calf · 11-01-2009, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by filledwithfear1

topic

How do you make friends? Good question! I don't know. If you find the answer please tell me.

ruinMYlife · 11-01-2009, 09:52 PM

you have to make good first impressions, thats the only way, if your first impression is to be quiet, boring and shy 9/10 the normal people wont like that

94hours · 11-01-2009, 10:02 PM

I second the making a good first impression which is easier said than done...

Try to find people who share common interests with you.

Neptunus · 11-01-2009, 10:07 PM

Witan · 11-01-2009, 10:07 PM

Mutual activities. Work, school, volunteering, clubs/organizations, etc.

Prakas · 11-01-2009, 10:07 PM

Having confidence is the secret I think....but what do I know?

pixies · 11-01-2009, 10:14 PM

You gotta talk to people and see if you hit it off. Simple as that. I have very few friends these days because I don't meet people and don't talk to people.

When I was in school and I was talking to people constantly, I had several friends.

filledwithfear1 · 11-01-2009, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Witan

Mutual activities. Work, school, volunteering, clubs/organizations, etc.

Sadly, I don't really have any common activities... Video Games, Anime, Programming, 3D Modeling, Chruch...

theuprising · 11-01-2009, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by filledwithfear1

Sadly, I don't really have any common activities... Video Games, Anime, Programming, 3D Modeling, Chruch...

Well then get some common activities? This is really self explanatory.

For the activities that you currently have, there are video game circles and anime conventions you could go to. There's a lot of networking opportunities in a religious organization. Not sure about the programming thing though.

Andrew1980 · 11-01-2009, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theuprising

Not sure about the programming thing though.

Yeah, we get together each week and see who can make the biggest recursive function without overflowing the stack. Then we share wallpapers and tips on how to be productive in visual studio.

theuprising · 11-01-2009, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew1980

Yeah, we get together each week and see who can make the biggest recursive function without overflowing the stack. Then we share wallpapers and tips on how to be productive in visual studio.

hah sounds like fun :P

Blackhole105 · 11-01-2009, 10:52 PM

by not having social anxiety lol? I don't know; when I don't feel anxious I have no problem connecting with people, but since I feel anxious most of the time, connecting with the majority people is very difficult.

Your lack of friends probably isn't related to your personality. I think as you gradually improve your social anxiety, your general social situation will gradually improve (provided your not a complete homebody).

Indigo Flow · 11-02-2009, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruinMYlife

you have to make good first impressions, thats the only way, if your first impression is to be quiet, boring and shy 9/10 the normal people wont like that

when i met some people from my university, i spoke alot and was quite confident, i just walked up to people and introduced myself and i also found myself talking more to other people than them talking to me. I'd had a few beers though lol but i wasn't drunk. I thought i was quite friendly and that i'd made a good impression but now none of those people have spoken to me since.

CrashMedicate · 11-02-2009, 06:55 AM

What makes someone a friend? A friend is someone who takes a sincere interest in you and cares about you. To make a friend you have to be a friend. Take an interest in who that person is. Ask them questions about themselves and how they feel about certain things. Ask for their personal opinion. Who/what/when/where/why/how. Remember these six questions and to ask them. Most times I can't make it past the first 2 or 3 before they say something that helps me spark a good conversation.

First impressions are sealed in concrete after the first 30 seconds someone meets you. After that 30 seconds is up, they're going to go back to they're favorite subject: themselves. Let them talk about themselves, and really try to see things through their eyes.

stardog99 · 11-02-2009, 08:07 AM

Interesting about the first impressions thing...I can't help making crap 1st impressions cos I'm so bloody anxious :/

filledwithfear1 · 11-02-2009, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashMedicate

What makes someone a friend? A friend is someone who takes a sincere interest in you and cares about you. To make a friend you have to be a friend. Take an interest in who that person is. Ask them questions about themselves and how they feel about certain things. Ask for their personal opinion. Who/what/when/where/why/how. Remember these six questions and to ask them. Most times I can't make it past the first 2 or 3 before they say something that helps me spark a good conversation.

First impressions are sealed in concrete after the first 30 seconds someone meets you. After that 30 seconds is up, they're going to go back to they're favorite subject: themselves. Let them talk about themselves, and really try to see things through their eyes.

Part of my problem is that I'm selfish, and I usually don't really care unless they are in trouble or they are a hot single girl...

SixFigures · 11-10-2009, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrashMedicate

What makes someone a friend? A friend is someone who takes a sincere interest in you and cares about you.

Where do you find a person like that ? Most people seem to be users and only care about themselves. Im the exact opposite to that. Im genuinly interested in other people and i consider myself to be a friendly person but i get this feeling that people will only continue a friendship if you have something they want.

lb756 · 11-10-2009, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SixFigures

Most people seem to be users and only care about themselves.

Being brutally honest, despite my problems with social interaction, I find that in real life, when other people are talking, I don't actually care about what they are saying anyway, I do genuinely listen and ask questions, but I don't take to heart what others may say - it doesn't interest me.

I don't know if this is normal, but I've got to hold my hands up and admit to doing it myself.

numero1 · 11-10-2009, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruinMYlife

you have to make good first impressions, thats the only way, if your first impression is to be quiet, boring and shy 9/10 the normal people wont like that

I have good evidence(from experience) that thats not the case. So the first day of one of my classes I decided to be the guy who is funny and hell I made the class laugh alot. To date I make everyone laugh every single day and not one person has invited me to hang out. Although one guy wanted me to study with him and some other people for a midterm, but I declined since I prefer to study by myself. ...(I don't really study for midterms, but I still do very well).

11-01-2009, 08:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
filledwithfear1 Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Sep 2009 Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 125	How do I make friends? topic

11-01-2009, 09:52 PM	#3 (permalink)
ruinMYlife Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Vancouver Gender: Male Age: 18 Posts: 138	you have to make good first impressions, thats the only way, if your first impression is to be quiet, boring and shy 9/10 the normal people wont like that __________________ Feel free to add me on facebook.com/microsoftsam

11-01-2009, 10:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
Neptunus Status: Authenticating Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: USA Gender: Female Posts: 2,845	__________________ "When I stand before thee at the day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing." ~Rabindranath Tagore "Being gentle means forgiving yourself when you mess up. We should learn from our mistakes, but we shouldn't beat the tar out of ourselves over them. The past is just that, past. Learn what went wrong and why. Make amends if you need to. Then drop it and move on." ---Sean Covey

11-01-2009, 10:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
Witan Status: O fortuna, velut luna Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Iowa Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 640	Mutual activities. Work, school, volunteering, clubs/organizations, etc. __________________ YouTube Men's SA Group - request invite by PM

11-02-2009, 06:55 AM	#15 (permalink)
CrashMedicate Status: Racing through life Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Riiiight here. Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 205	What makes someone a friend? A friend is someone who takes a sincere interest in you and cares about you. To make a friend you have to be a friend. Take an interest in who that person is. Ask them questions about themselves and how they feel about certain things. Ask for their personal opinion. Who/what/when/where/why/how. Remember these six questions and to ask them. Most times I can't make it past the first 2 or 3 before they say something that helps me spark a good conversation. First impressions are sealed in concrete after the first 30 seconds someone meets you. After that 30 seconds is up, they're going to go back to they're favorite subject: themselves. Let them talk about themselves, and really try to see things through their eyes. __________________ A man has to have goals. A man without goals is like a car without steering. You're going to crash.

11-01-2009, 10:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
94hours Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 49	I second the making a good first impression which is easier said than done... Try to find people who share common interests with you.

11-01-2009, 10:07 PM	#7 (permalink)
Prakas Status: Failure - Life Sucks Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Delaware Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 434	Having confidence is the secret I think....but what do I know?

11-01-2009, 10:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
pixies Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: England, UK Gender: Male Posts: 144	You gotta talk to people and see if you hit it off. Simple as that. I have very few friends these days because I don't meet people and don't talk to people. When I was in school and I was talking to people constantly, I had several friends.

11-01-2009, 10:52 PM	#13 (permalink)
Blackhole105 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: MA Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 21	by not having social anxiety lol? I don't know; when I don't feel anxious I have no problem connecting with people, but since I feel anxious most of the time, connecting with the majority people is very difficult. Your lack of friends probably isn't related to your personality. I think as you gradually improve your social anxiety, your general social situation will gradually improve (provided your not a complete homebody).

11-02-2009, 08:07 AM	#16 (permalink)
stardog99 Status: SAS Membe Join Date: Mar 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 438	Interesting about the first impressions thing...I can't help making crap 1st impressions cos I'm so bloody anxious :/