How do guys feel about ugly women? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 08:49 PM Thread Starter
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How do guys feel about ugly women?

Okay, I dress neatly, I'm kind, polite, eager to please, keep myself in shape, but I am not pretty. Growing up guys were very mean to me and would call me ugly and even hit and slapped me a few times.

Now, since I'm older I wonder how do men feel about us? I'm very quiet and shy. Shy cute women can easily attract men, but what about us ugly women?

I hate myself so much that I just want to cut myself over and over again, but I'm trying not to relapse but it's hard. I have no reason to love myself. I feel as if I would like myself better if I were in a relationship. I would feel more normal and that I'm just as good as other women. I'm 26 years old and have never been in a relationship.
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post #2 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 08:51 PM
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...like I'm not attracted to them? IDK, if people leave me alone, I leave them alone so I don't hate them but I'm just unattracted.
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post #3 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 08:51 PM
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Have you ever thought about saving up for plastic surgery?
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post #4 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 08:52 PM Thread Starter
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...like I'm not attracted to them?
Even if they're are nice, kind, keep themselves in shape, etc.?

I guess there's no hope for me.
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post #5 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 08:53 PM Thread Starter
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Have you ever thought about saving up for plastic surgery?
Plastic surgery can only do so much.

I have no issue in being in a relationship with a man that isn't physically attractive.
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post #6 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 08:54 PM Thread Starter
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Why are guys so mean?
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post #7 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 08:56 PM
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Why are guys so mean?
Heh, more like why are PEOPLE so mean. I wish I had the answer to that.
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post #8 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 08:58 PM Thread Starter
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Heh, more like why are PEOPLE so mean. I wish I had the answer to that.
Actually I've found guys to be meaner than women. Guys are very looks oriented. Men really dislike ugly women like myself. I've been slapped, hit, and call names by guys just because I'm ugly. Women haven't done any of this to me.
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post #9 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:00 PM
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Chances are that you are nowhere near as unattractive as you think you are, if you are at all. I know it's hard to think you're not ugly when you've had so many years of people calling you ugly, but those people don't represent the final authority on all things beautiful. These people don't make fun of people for being ugly; they make fun because they are bullies who like to mistreat people, and calling you 'ugly' is just a generic insult that they may not even believe to be true.

Besides, every guy has his own preferences. I can't tell you how many supposedly 'hot' girls (as described by hoards of men) I have been repulsed by, and how many times I have been attracted to girls that others said were unattractive. In my case, even if I find a girl unattractive at first sight, if she happens to talk to me and be nice to me, I will practically fall in love with her.
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post #10 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:00 PM
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Short and simple answer? If a woman is unattractive, I think of them the same as any other woman minus the lusting and being open to forming a relationship.

There's no such thing as being universally unattractive, though. Everybody is attractive to somebody, it's very subjective and is usually based on more than just looks.
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post #11 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:02 PM
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess. There have been girls I've found attractive in the past that others would consider unattractive. Don't sell yourself out because of what a few people have thought about you.
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post #12 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:02 PM Thread Starter
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Chances are that you are nowhere near as unattractive as you think you are, if you are at all. I know it's hard to think you're not ugly when you've had so many years of people calling you ugly, but those people don't represent the final authority on all things beautiful. These people don't make fun of people for being ugly; they make fun because they are bullies who like to mistreat people, and calling you 'ugly' is just a generic insult that they may not even believe to be true.

Besides, every guy has his own preferences. I can't tell you how many supposedly 'hot' girls (as described by hoards of men) I have been repulsed by, and how many times I have been attracted to girls that others said were unattractive. In my case, even if I find a girl unattractive at first sight, if she happens to talk to me and be nice to me, I will practically fall in love with her.
I wish more men were like you.
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post #13 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:04 PM
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95 percent of the time you think you look less attractive than what others perceive you to be.

Why put a new address, on the same old loneliness?
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post #14 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:06 PM
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how unattractive are we talking? average is fine with me, i could even work with a little below average.

you said your fit, the female figure is enough to do it for me.
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post #15 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:09 PM
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Everyone has a different way of seeing the world.

What is ugly to one is attractive to another.
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post #16 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:11 PM
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Besides, every guy has his own preferences. I can't tell you how many supposedly 'hot' girls (as described by hoards of men) I have been repulsed by, and how many times I have been attracted to girls that others said were unattractive. In my case, even if I find a girl unattractive at first sight, if she happens to talk to me and be nice to me, I will practically fall in love with her.
Yeah I can definitely relate to this too. Once in awhile I'll be out with some friends, and they'll start drooling and staring at a girl once in awhile, but I won't be. They'll ask me if I'm gay or something, just poking fun :P but I just don't find certain features as attractive as most of my friends do. Especially if the girl cakes their face with makeup and tries desperately to look like a model from some girly magazine...that's gross.
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post #17 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:23 PM
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Just because some people have been calling you ugly that doesn't mean you are. These are the ones that made you believe that you are ugly when most of the time, you aren't. Who appears ugly to some will appear the opposite to someone else. Everyone has an ugly side to them, whether it's apparent or not.

Let go of your fears.


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post #18 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:27 PM
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yeah that happens to me too. every girl my friends think is hot im like shes aiight. but to me some chicks are just super sexy IMO. but i tell my homies and they say shes "ok". Except this one chick. Funny story.

so i see this short light skinned mexican chick (im asian) and i say hey to my buddy and i said dont you think that chick is hot and hes like fukk yes. Few days later one of my good friends is dating her and we never knew until he introduced us to her. and we told him that story.

funny thing is that girl was engaged and my other good friend took her away. lol. but he said if she wants to be with him she has to break up with her fiance. and she did and now they've been together for like 2 years or so.

Everyone has their own perspective so you can never make everyone like you because people are different. So next time try to make yourself happy because "in the end its you and only you"
- Its just me and my shadow
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post #19 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:36 PM
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My guess is that most guys just glaze over "ugly" women like they're any other person. As someone who is also ugly and has experienced being called ugly multiple times in the past, I know how you feel. And it doesn't make it any better when people try to come up with reasons why we've been called ugly. At around our age, we should have a decent idea by now from the comments, lack of comments, and treatment we've gotten from people compared to others, on whether we're goodlooking, ugly, or average. I'm ugly and it can't be helped. I just have to learn to find a way to love myself.

Guys can definitely be harsh and can have high standards. I think it's a fact that more guys are that way than females. That's why it's a lot more common to see attractive women with unattractive men rather than the other way around. I think I've developed an aversion to certain types of guys. I often feel annoyed when I'm walking around school and see a group of guys walking towards me. I know not all are like these types, but I just find the majority irritating because I know what they're thinking. They're always checking out girls and on the hunt for "hot" girls.
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post #20 of 400 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 09:38 PM
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1. Ugly is not universal.
2. People who call you ugly are full of ****.

If I'm not attracted to someone, I'm just not attracted. I certainly don't dislike them for it.

When you're not feeling holy, your loneliness tells you you've sinned.
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