How come no one ever writes to me on Facebook? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 03:09 PM Thread Starter
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How come no one ever writes to me on Facebook?

I know this has been asked before, but the difference in my situation is that I actually have been writing on other people's walls and liking their statuses since I began using Facebook a few years ago. I don't overdo it either but I do it enough that they should notice me writing on their walls and/or liking their statuses. I have a few hundred friends mostly old friends from high school, some I still hang out with, but none of them ever respond to my posts or post on my wall or like my status, even though I am quite generous with giving their posts recognition. I haven't had a person like or post on my wall for months, and it's always been like this too. What's going on? Do people just not like me? But then, why would they have ever been my friends if they never actually liked me?

I always see on my home page literally every one of my friends post something and they get dozens of comments and likes from different people. But when I post something, nothing, even if it's a hilarious video or a genius quote that I discover, but when they post some stupid lyrics from a dumb pop song or something they get tons of likes. I NEVER complain on my status either so I know that I'm not being obnoxious. Any one else here actually been making the effort to socialize on facebook and you aren't getting any love back?
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post #2 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 03:11 PM
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Nobody ever writes to me either. Unless I write to them. If you write to other people, they will write you back. Of course some do and some don't, but if you notice, the supposedly "popular" people tend to write to other people a lot. It's a give some, take some kind of thing.
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post #3 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 03:14 PM Thread Starter
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Yeah man, that's what I'm saying, I DO write to people quite a lot. But no one ever writes me back or likes any of my statuses. That's the problem I'm having here. I'm giving some but I'm not getting any.
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post #4 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 03:17 PM
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I don't go on facebook too much anymore. I usually get ignored by all of my 'friends' anyway. Even sent a couple private messages and no response. Also seing everyone I know having an awesome time was depressing.

It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.

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post #5 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 03:18 PM
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Thats one of the reasons I deleted mine. It's funny cause my last facebook account was my second one, I deleted my first one due to no one commenting me or anything even after I had commented them back. When I deleted it, no one texted or called me, nothing about why i deleted it.
So I made a new account months later, and still, nothing. So I was like eh forget it and deleted it, and sure enough no calls or texts as to why I deleted it.
I also could care less about the people I went to highschool, who I didn't know/talk too, and what they're doing.
I also found it to be depressing. People posting pictures of themselves going to parties, and having fun and enjoying college/life. It'd make me feel bad about myself. It's like, acording to some people, if you don't have Facebook, you don't exist. Those people forget that there's other means of communicating, whether it be my phone, text, email or AIM and they rely so heavily on Facebook, to communicate.

I'm not saying delete your facebook or anything, but maybe post on a couple of peoples walls or message them asking to hangout and if you don't get a reply at all, then maybe they're not the friends you thought they were?

Haha, wow sorry this was so long, I guess it turned into a rant, I hope it helped at least a little, lol.
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post #6 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 03:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheesus Chrust View Post
Yeah man, that's what I'm saying, I DO write to people quite a lot. But no one ever writes me back or likes any of my statuses. That's the problem I'm having here. I'm giving some but I'm not getting any.
Oh damn, lol maybe your friends just suck then. :P

It helps if you have common interests with other people. It takes awhile to get a good social circle going, so you're going to have to keep putting effort into it. It's easier if you're really social in real life. You can meet a new person and immediately talk to them over FB too.
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post #7 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
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That's true about having common interests. I think that may be part of my problem, I'm a very original cat and find most of the things everyone else seems to like mundane. Maybe most of us SA people are just too cool for the average person to take?
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post #8 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 03:41 PM
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The only advice I can give you is either you can try to be a fake person and be popular for the sake of being popular, or be yourself and even though you aren't recognized by most or people don't like you, the few that do truly value you. The only comments I get recognition on are from people I actually hang out with, 1 thumbs up usually. Be true to who you are and just be happy, don't feel resentment or disappointment that others don't recognize you. Don't let popularity make you feel like you are worthless because you are not.

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where ice blue roses grow
'long those roads of gold and silver snow
Howlin' wide or moanin low
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post #9 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 03:44 PM
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I think this is funny because I always feel the same way! wow, its nice to know you arent alone in this though, right? I always feel like no one likes me on facebook because sometimes no one writes me, no one talks to me or no one hang out with me when I ask :/ and getting in touch with old friends make me feel worse, they say they miss me and lets hang out, I say yes so I can finally get out and actually talk to friends and what happens.. they flake out or never call me back makes me feel really hated but..... This is not true, its only a feeling. I on the other hand havent deleted my facebook, so if you want someone to talk to on there, ask me for my link
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post #10 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 03:52 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by RawrJessiRawr View Post
I think this is funny because I always feel the same way! wow, its nice to know you arent alone in this though, right? I always feel like no one likes me on facebook because sometimes no one writes me, no one talks to me or no one hang out with me when I ask :/ and getting in touch with old friends make me feel worse, they say they miss me and lets hang out, I say yes so I can finally get out and actually talk to friends and what happens.. they flake out or never call me back makes me feel really hated but..... This is not true, its only a feeling. I on the other hand havent deleted my facebook, so if you want someone to talk to on there, ask me for my link
Cool cool, I'd love links to all ya people's facebook pages!
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post #11 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 04:16 PM
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I hardly ever used Facebook because of this issue. I've had my account up since "09" and really didn't have many friends on there, so after a while, I didn't see the point of having an account. When I first registered, a lot of people that I went to high school with ended up friend requesting me, and I didn't accept any of their requests, because I knew that my acceptance of their request would not mean that we would actually keep in touch or post on each others walls. I just recently started using my account again, and this time, I decided that my main area of interest would be to post stuff on the walls of different movies and hobbies that I enjoy. I primarily use my account for that purpose and also to keep in touch with my sister who is working abroad, and also to keep in touch with family members that I don't normally see in person.

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post #12 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 04:46 PM
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Maybe try communicating with them outside of Facebook? The number of comments and likes that someone gets probably isn't solely based on the content; it's based more on popularity or familiarity with that person.
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post #13 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 06:02 PM
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From my experience, no one will comment unless they talk to you outside facebook. That's from my POV. Obviously I don't talk much, so I do not get that many as well. I do some, enough to make me stay in FB.
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post #14 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 06:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brightpaperwarewolf View Post
The only advice I can give you is either you can try to be a fake person and be popular for the sake of being popular, or be yourself and even though you aren't recognized by most or people don't like you, the few that do truly value you. The only comments I get recognition on are from people I actually hang out with, 1 thumbs up usually. Be true to who you are and just be happy, don't feel resentment or disappointment that others don't recognize you. Don't let popularity make you feel like you are worthless because you are not.
That makes me feel a lot better. I recently went through this 'deleting spree' of all the people on facebook who I had never seen or talked to in real life. When I first got one I was really desperate just to see my 'friend count' to be over 200+. But my strategy was to add only 'mutual friends'. I did that for the longest. I ended up with 400+ friends...then I started to feel fake. So I deleted all of those people and now have only 100+ like before. Sometimes I feel like a loser, and sometimes I don't. I just wish I had more of a social life, i dunno. Trying not to be depressed....
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post #15 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 06:52 PM
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Maybe try communicating with them outside of Facebook? The number of comments and likes that someone gets probably isn't solely based on the content; it's based more on popularity or familiarity with that person.

Very true.

"Stop grinning like a psycho and get back to work" Doakes on Dexter
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post #16 of 54 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 07:12 PM
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forget facebook. I think it has a tendency to make insecure people even more insecure. I'm pretty sure 60 minutes did a special on how its a paradigm thats destroying our social construct and making people severely insecure and dependent on facebook for social acceptance. It's ridiculous, really. I feel that alot of people use facebook almost because they have a celebrity complex about them, I mean everyone likes attention but for someone to post hundreds of pictures of themself and hourly status updates on what clothes they should wear and their opinions on the movie The Ugly Truth, and for people to actually humor them with dozens of comments baffles me. Some people are narcissists who crave attention and feel that they're so important that everyone should know exactly what they're doing and thinking. Not everyone is like this, and it's better if you aren't. It really is a shame because people see these folks who get this absurd amount of attention and become filled with high amounts of self-doubt and insecurity about their 'friends' posting activity and how it reflects their own, their number of friends and the number of pictures they've been tagged in (or not tagged in). Facebook wasn't intended to be used this way, but I guess no matter what eventually a social medium will be used in a manipulative and demeaning way, even if its unintentional.
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post #17 of 54 (permalink) Old 06-17-2011, 07:04 AM
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Facebook

I feel the same...I dont know why I go on there...I post status like anyone else from being happy to talking about my kid(the only time I get likes) and no one ever just comments about anything. I go on theirs all the time and get bummed cause their boyfriends, bff's, and everyone seems to have their friends and fam coming out of the walls to post on their status. It is downright depressing. I want to cancel....anyone on here can look me up on my email if you dont have correspondance and I will be a true wall friend for ya...lol.
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post #18 of 54 (permalink) Old 06-17-2011, 07:11 AM
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That's why you should delete your wall.


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post #19 of 54 (permalink) Old 06-17-2011, 07:23 AM
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Deactivated my account a few days ago for the same reason. Its really funny because I only added people I actually talked to and have a lot of things in common with. Still they don't respond on chat, msg or post or comment on anything I posted. The ironic thing is I told the girl that convinced me to get an account that I only stay in touch with people who care enough to call. She told me I was wrong but that's the reason she was wrong.
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post #20 of 54 (permalink) Old 06-17-2011, 07:40 AM
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Try to talk to them more irl.
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