Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Daly City, California
How can I control my life from my parents?
Hello. I am 20 years old this year, and I feel that my parents aren't letting me become independent at all. They are always telling me how I should get a job and sign up for college classes, yet they won't allow me to know my own social security number or bank account information. Previously, I had worked at the Disney Store as a paid internship job for high school. I wasn't allowed to use any of my own money.
It's been affecting my desire to ever leave the house and actually do things. I feel like I'm becoming more of a Hikikomori than I was in middle school.
The only current income I have right now is the money my parents SOMETIMES give me for lunch, when I go to my Jobs Club meetings at the local college campus(which, due to the lack of any ability to use my money for my own recreational wants, I've been hoarding it all and saving up for entertainment, which I spend about $10 a month).
I have also been earning quite a bit of money from a metaverse, where I will make custom 3D avatars/stuff, and sell them for in-game currency which can be exchanged into USD(So far I've earned at least $500 in the last year from this, but it's been declining in sales due to loss of interest in making new things, therefore it's not a reliable source of income).
Because of this, however, I am forced to share a paypal account with my friend(I have no problem with it, and trust him more than anyone, but sometimes it becomes troublesome if I want to buy something right away, and he's not online to do it). The reason I have to share an account in the first place is because when I had originally signed up for Paypal, and deposited $100 that I had earned from the metaverse sales, they LOCKED my account(now I cannot send/receive/withdraw money, or even close my account). The only way to get my money out is to give them my bank info, social security number, and other things, which again, I do not have access to. Therefore, until I have control over my money, I have wasted $100.
I've talked with my friends about this, and sometimes they mention that I am supposed to have rights over these matters, since I am an adult now, but I just can't find a good way to do it. I feel that if I were to approach my parents and suddenly talk against their ways, they'd yell at me or something.
Because of how they punished me when I was a child(for throwing tantrums and such). I'd be kicked or striked and yelled at as a kid. This hasn't happened since I was about 10, but I have a terrible phobia of loud sudden noises, so I have an irrational fear of this ever happening again.
On another note, I am also extremely "shy", and do not feel I can gather the courage to simply visit a bank and ask about my own account. Especially knowing that they will probably ask for my SSN, bank account info, and other things I do not know about... Plus I can bet that even if they provided support for new bank users, they'd brand me as simply "abnormally shy", or "too rude to respond properly". I hate when people think I'm rude because I talk so quietly/stutter...
Any help would be appreciated... sorry if I typed too much.