Social Anxiety Support

supersoshychick · 06-04-2009, 05:58 PM

I personally haven't i would like to. I have SA and depression. If you told your family or health care provider, how did you tell them specifically?

kos · 06-04-2009, 06:00 PM

nope. too embarrasing. although my family wonders y i spend all my time in my room.

supersoshychick · 06-04-2009, 06:05 PM

yeah, same here. to be honest, they won't understand. I feel so abnormal from my family and regular society aka people w/o SA

Girl_Loner · 06-04-2009, 06:15 PM

I went to the GP with my boyfriend, I said
as much as I could to the doctor..which was about one sentence
and had already coached my bf as to what I would want him
to say if I froze.

Family was a much tougher challenge I spent weeks thinking about ways I could tell them which would soften the blow. But having been to the dr. and been refered to a psych.
I felt like I had proof if you know what I mean? Sad that my I didnt feel my whole life experiences wernt proof enough.
It wasnt easy as my mum hates 'sick people'

and my dad is old-school and thinks these things are all nonsence.
It took a good couple of months..probably three before things cooled
down again, they still don't like to talk about it except for breifly
but it did get better.
And I really believe that in their hearts they know I'm like this and not just making it up/taking my self too seriously etc.

Super condenced version >.<

I tried to tell my best friend but she didnt really understand, mainly
because when we spend time together it's never anything that triggers my anxiety and I feel protective of her which makes me act super brave.

PeopleAreStrange · 06-04-2009, 06:19 PM

I'm also too embarassed. I wish someone would force me to go. I've even tried acting extremely depressed. Pathetic, I know. I don't understand how others with SA can get help.

fridays child · 06-04-2009, 06:19 PM

I hope your post gets some examples of how people were able to do this. I do not know how I could tell any family member about this without feeling really stupid..and I have a husband of 26 years, 2 kids, 5 sisters and one brother! yes I have trust issues

I plan on going to a counselor soon, and some of these posts have really great descriptions of their SA and same feelings I have, so I plan to "borrow" their words to use when he asks me "So...tell me how you feel?"

Indy · 06-04-2009, 06:31 PM

The only one I've told, except all of you of course, is my long term boyfriend. He relates because he also suffers from SA. I haven't said anything to my family because I'm not sure how they'd react.

Indy · 06-04-2009, 06:35 PM

The main problem I'm having with getting help is that I have to get a referral from my primary doctor. Its embarrassing to tell my doctor I need to go to a shrink. What id my doctor has no experience with SA and thinks I'm a wierdo or a hypochondriac?

I'm looking forward to seeing how other people have dealt with anxiety about getting help.

RoninDistance · 06-05-2009, 11:01 AM

I haven't told them, but they "know".

kpiper0101 · 06-05-2009, 11:37 AM

I don't tell people because I feel like they wouldn't know what I was talking about unless they had experienced it too. I wish I could tell my doctor, just to see if there's something that could be prescribed just to use on occasion for panic-inducing situations like job interviews and stuff, but I've spent so many years desperately trying to appear normal, and it's really difficult for me to bring it up. If he asked if I had SA, I'd have no problem saying, oh god, yes, please help me, but I doubt that's going to happen. The fact that I hardly ever go to the doctor doesn't help either. :O(

rcapo89 · 06-05-2009, 11:52 AM

After I told my parents about my SA they took me to a therapist. After that my Dad gave me an appointment to see a doctor. I just told the doctor that I was suffering from SA and he gave me a prescription for Zoloft. It was much easier than I thought it would be. Its great to have someone to talk to about your anxiety. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to tell your parents.

wiselittleracoon · 06-05-2009, 12:12 PM

After I had my son the depression really hit hard because of the time that I had to spend in the hospital was just one of the worst experiences in my life.It was the people that were painful to me,not the baby.Then I had to go back to get my galbladder taken out.All the people that I just couldn't hide from.Thank God for the morphine and the ambien.lol.Well thats when I told my doc about the depression and anxiety.He put me on lexapro.It helped for the first year as far as the depression,but didn't help my anxiety at all.Then tried effexor.Didn't work.Plus I have a hard enough time being awake and active during the day and those drugs make it harder.Now I'm on zanex only when I need it for the anxiety.I only need them once or twice a week when I go shopping or to my boyfriends familys house.As for the depression?Getting things done around the house helps and going outside.Knowing that my son had a good day helps too.I was so scared to go to the doc about this,but he is very understanding.I'm a mess before,during,and after I need to go to him even I don't have to be.Its a good thing I did,because my bloodpressure needed some attention.

BrokenDreams · 06-05-2009, 12:31 PM

I had never told anyone about my SA in my whole life. Just suffered through it the best I could. About 2 years ago I became extremely depressed about being so lonely that each day I wished I wouldn't wake up the next. It got to the point that I knew I had to get some help. Finding and calling a therapist was extremely difficult but I finally did it. Immediately after my first session I felt an enormous load lifted from my shoulders.

After months of making some progress in therapy my therapist recommended I talk to my GP to get some meds as well. Again it was hard but I just came right out and told my GP I had been seeing a therapist for SA and would like to try some meds too. He asked me a couple simple questions and gave me an Rx for Prozac. When that didn't help he referred me to a psychiatrist so I had to tell another Dr about it. He had me answer questions on some forms to diagnose me and prescribed lexapro. A couple months later he added welbutrin and my anxiety was reduced quite a bit.

At this point, I was able to tell a friend about my SA and she was very understanding and supportive. Since then I have been able to tell my son as well and found that he has similar feelings to a lesser degree and understood completely.

I greatly feared telling each person I have told, but after have always been very glad that I did. I don't know where I'd be now if I hadn't told my therapist and doctors about it. None were judgemental and all understood and did everything they could to help me.

I strongly recommend that anyone avoiding telling their doctor about it or celling a therapist go ahead and do so. I think you will be happy that you did.

stephaniebt · 06-05-2009, 06:33 PM

I really didnt have a hard time telling my family. They are all supportive of me, and help me out when i need it. It was a lil embarassing at first for me. Still is, too tell people. But I think once you get it out in the open, it feels alot better. I am going to counseling, have been for awhile now. I dont like the therapists/ counselors that ask how do you feel. It drives me crazy, cuz you never know what to say. But if you tell them, could they ask a more direct question, I think it would be easier. Just thought I would post a reply to this thread.

SilentLoner · 06-05-2009, 08:03 PM

I was diagnosed by a psychologist who had to tell my mom since I was a minor. My younger brother knows only because he's heard arguments between my mom and me. I told one of my uncles once for some reason. But he lives in another country.

windmill · 06-05-2009, 08:05 PM

To those who are hesitant about telling their family and doctor about their social anxiety, think of it this way: Would you rather keep your social anxiety a secret or start on the path to recovery?

The sooner you tell your doctor about it, the sooner you can decide on the proper course of action (meds, therapy, etc.). If your doctor doesn't feel comfortable dealing with social anxiety, he will gladly refer you to someone who is. Remember that doctors are there to HELP, it is their job.

The sooner you tell your family about it, the sooner you will be able to stop "acting normal" in front of them in an effort to hide your social anxiety. Also, I think many of you would be surprised how supportive your family will be.

I waited a long time to seek help for my social anxiety, but it is easily the best thing I ever did.

LaRibbon · 06-05-2009, 08:09 PM

My whole family knows I'm screwed up, cos I've had depression for years. The SA is like an extra disorder on the side. I only told my mom directly that I have SA. She's probably gone and told everyone else. Don't know / don't care.

Peri · 06-06-2009, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by supersoshychick

If you told your family or health care provider, how did you tell them specifically?

Maybe give them printouts about SA from some reliable websites to help with the task of explaining.

Personally I think I have told a brother once, but I don't think he took me seriously.

milo001 · 06-06-2009, 02:58 AM

my parents,some relatives and few friends know about it.but i don't think any of them know and understand what is social phobia.maybe except my dad.

gothicjello · 06-06-2009, 03:51 AM

I'm the same, SA with depression. I knew I had issues with people, but didn't find out I had SA & depression until 12 yrs ago when my mom took me to see a therapist and I was diagnosed with it.

Even though I was diagnosed, my family has never really believed it and my friends think I'm making up excuses. They have all made me feel so horribly awful about myself that I don't mention anything about my disorder to anyone anymore. I've seen countless therapists and let me tell you NONE OF THEM HELPED ME AT ALL. If you can believe this - some of them even made it worse. I had therapists calling me stupid for the way I felt and the drugs they gave me just gave me for anxiety just made me more in pain.

I hope when you are able to talk to someone they don't make you feel as bad as I've been made to feel. Just be cautious. Most of the people I've told either think I'm lying or just ignore/avoid me.

People who understand are rare and should be treasured...

06-04-2009, 05:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
supersoshychick Status: supersoshychick Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Paranoia Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 202	Have you gotten help or told any family member about your SA? I personally haven't i would like to. I have SA and depression. If you told your family or health care provider, how did you tell them specifically?

06-04-2009, 06:31 PM	#7 (permalink)
Indy Status: Just me. Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: California Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 63	The only one I've told, except all of you of course, is my long term boyfriend. He relates because he also suffers from SA. I haven't said anything to my family because I'm not sure how they'd react. __________________ Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness. --Robertson Davies.

06-04-2009, 06:35 PM	#8 (permalink)
Indy Status: Just me. Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: California Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 63	The main problem I'm having with getting help is that I have to get a referral from my primary doctor. Its embarrassing to tell my doctor I need to go to a shrink. What id my doctor has no experience with SA and thinks I'm a wierdo or a hypochondriac? I'm looking forward to seeing how other people have dealt with anxiety about getting help. __________________ Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness. --Robertson Davies.

06-05-2009, 12:31 PM	#13 (permalink)
BrokenDreams Status: Optimistic Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: San Diego, CA Gender: Male Age: 53 Posts: 357	I had never told anyone about my SA in my whole life. Just suffered through it the best I could. About 2 years ago I became extremely depressed about being so lonely that each day I wished I wouldn't wake up the next. It got to the point that I knew I had to get some help. Finding and calling a therapist was extremely difficult but I finally did it. Immediately after my first session I felt an enormous load lifted from my shoulders. After months of making some progress in therapy my therapist recommended I talk to my GP to get some meds as well. Again it was hard but I just came right out and told my GP I had been seeing a therapist for SA and would like to try some meds too. He asked me a couple simple questions and gave me an Rx for Prozac. When that didn't help he referred me to a psychiatrist so I had to tell another Dr about it. He had me answer questions on some forms to diagnose me and prescribed lexapro. A couple months later he added welbutrin and my anxiety was reduced quite a bit. At this point, I was able to tell a friend about my SA and she was very understanding and supportive. Since then I have been able to tell my son as well and found that he has similar feelings to a lesser degree and understood completely. I greatly feared telling each person I have told, but after have always been very glad that I did. I don't know where I'd be now if I hadn't told my therapist and doctors about it. None were judgemental and all understood and did everything they could to help me. I strongly recommend that anyone avoiding telling their doctor about it or celling a therapist go ahead and do so. I think you will be happy that you did. __________________ http://www.spike.com/video/boulevard-of-broken/2656367 Nothing so much prevents our being natural as the desire to seem so. ~François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 1678 People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them. ~George Bernard Shaw

06-05-2009, 06:33 PM	#14 (permalink)
stephaniebt Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Southwest MO Gender: Female Posts: 13	I would say I really didnt have a hard time telling my family. They are all supportive of me, and help me out when i need it. It was a lil embarassing at first for me. Still is, too tell people. But I think once you get it out in the open, it feels alot better. I am going to counseling, have been for awhile now. I dont like the therapists/ counselors that ask how do you feel. It drives me crazy, cuz you never know what to say. But if you tell them, could they ask a more direct question, I think it would be easier. Just thought I would post a reply to this thread.

06-04-2009, 06:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
kos Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Ontario Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 513	nope. too embarrasing. although my family wonders y i spend all my time in my room.

06-04-2009, 06:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
supersoshychick Status: supersoshychick Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Paranoia Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 202	yeah, same here. to be honest, they won't understand. I feel so abnormal from my family and regular society aka people w/o SA

06-04-2009, 06:15 PM	#4 (permalink)
Girl_Loner Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cardboard Box Gender: Female Posts: 524	I went to the GP with my boyfriend, I said as much as I could to the doctor..which was about one sentence and had already coached my bf as to what I would want him to say if I froze. Family was a much tougher challenge I spent weeks thinking about ways I could tell them which would soften the blow. But having been to the dr. and been refered to a psych. I felt like I had proof if you know what I mean? Sad that my I didnt feel my whole life experiences wernt proof enough. It wasnt easy as my mum hates 'sick people' and my dad is old-school and thinks these things are all nonsence. It took a good couple of months..probably three before things cooled down again, they still don't like to talk about it except for breifly but it did get better. And I really believe that in their hearts they know I'm like this and not just making it up/taking my self too seriously etc. Super condenced version >.< I tried to tell my best friend but she didnt really understand, mainly because when we spend time together it's never anything that triggers my anxiety and I feel protective of her which makes me act super brave.

06-04-2009, 06:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
PeopleAreStrange Status: Sitting on a sunbeam Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 26	I'm also too embarassed. I wish someone would force me to go. I've even tried acting extremely depressed. Pathetic, I know. I don't understand how others with SA can get help.

06-04-2009, 06:19 PM	#6 (permalink)
fridays child Status: wondering Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: neither here nor there Age: 49 Posts: 65	I hope your post gets some examples of how people were able to do this. I do not know how I could tell any family member about this without feeling really stupid..and I have a husband of 26 years, 2 kids, 5 sisters and one brother! yes I have trust issues I plan on going to a counselor soon, and some of these posts have really great descriptions of their SA and same feelings I have, so I plan to "borrow" their words to use when he asks me "So...tell me how you feel?"

06-05-2009, 11:01 AM	#9 (permalink)
RoninDistance Status: Back Alley Space Boy Join Date: May 2009 Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 330	I haven't told them, but they "know".

06-05-2009, 11:37 AM	#10 (permalink)
kpiper0101 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Eugene, OR Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 354	I don't tell people because I feel like they wouldn't know what I was talking about unless they had experienced it too. I wish I could tell my doctor, just to see if there's something that could be prescribed just to use on occasion for panic-inducing situations like job interviews and stuff, but I've spent so many years desperately trying to appear normal, and it's really difficult for me to bring it up. If he asked if I had SA, I'd have no problem saying, oh god, yes, please help me, but I doubt that's going to happen. The fact that I hardly ever go to the doctor doesn't help either. :O(

06-05-2009, 11:52 AM	#11 (permalink)
rcapo89 Status: Exploring the moon Europa Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Georgia (northeast of Atlanta) Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 840	After I told my parents about my SA they took me to a therapist. After that my Dad gave me an appointment to see a doctor. I just told the doctor that I was suffering from SA and he gave me a prescription for Zoloft. It was much easier than I thought it would be. Its great to have someone to talk to about your anxiety. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to tell your parents.

06-05-2009, 12:12 PM	#12 (permalink)
wiselittleracoon Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Hawaii.In my head. Gender: Female Posts: 85	After I had my son the depression really hit hard because of the time that I had to spend in the hospital was just one of the worst experiences in my life.It was the people that were painful to me,not the baby.Then I had to go back to get my galbladder taken out.All the people that I just couldn't hide from.Thank God for the morphine and the ambien.lol.Well thats when I told my doc about the depression and anxiety.He put me on lexapro.It helped for the first year as far as the depression,but didn't help my anxiety at all.Then tried effexor.Didn't work.Plus I have a hard enough time being awake and active during the day and those drugs make it harder.Now I'm on zanex only when I need it for the anxiety.I only need them once or twice a week when I go shopping or to my boyfriends familys house.As for the depression?Getting things done around the house helps and going outside.Knowing that my son had a good day helps too.I was so scared to go to the doc about this,but he is very understanding.I'm a mess before,during,and after I need to go to him even I don't have to be.Its a good thing I did,because my bloodpressure needed some attention.

06-05-2009, 08:03 PM	#15 (permalink)
SilentLoner Status: Otaku Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Lost in thought, though occasionally I may be located at an anime convention. Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 2,452	I was diagnosed by a psychologist who had to tell my mom since I was a minor. My younger brother knows only because he's heard arguments between my mom and me. I told one of my uncles once for some reason. But he lives in another country. __________________ "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” -Plato "When a cold wind blows it chills you - chills you to the bone. But there's nothing in nature that freezes your heart like years of being alone." OTAKU UNITE! “We honor Dr. Tiller’s legacy of service to women.” Dr. George Tiller 1941 -2009 Memorial Web Page http://www.iamdrtiller.com/ http://www.remembertiller.com/

06-05-2009, 08:05 PM	#16 (permalink)
windmill Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Ontario Gender: Male Posts: 15	To those who are hesitant about telling their family and doctor about their social anxiety, think of it this way: Would you rather keep your social anxiety a secret or start on the path to recovery? The sooner you tell your doctor about it, the sooner you can decide on the proper course of action (meds, therapy, etc.). If your doctor doesn't feel comfortable dealing with social anxiety, he will gladly refer you to someone who is. Remember that doctors are there to HELP, it is their job. The sooner you tell your family about it, the sooner you will be able to stop "acting normal" in front of them in an effort to hide your social anxiety. Also, I think many of you would be surprised how supportive your family will be. I waited a long time to seek help for my social anxiety, but it is easily the best thing I ever did.

06-05-2009, 08:09 PM	#17 (permalink)
LaRibbon Status: Temporarily Banned Join Date: May 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 487	My whole family knows I'm screwed up, cos I've had depression for years. The SA is like an extra disorder on the side. I only told my mom directly that I have SA. She's probably gone and told everyone else. Don't know / don't care.

06-06-2009, 02:58 AM	#19 (permalink)
milo001 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 245	my parents,some relatives and few friends know about it.but i don't think any of them know and understand what is social phobia.maybe except my dad.

06-06-2009, 03:51 AM	#20 (permalink)
gothicjello Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 7	I'm the same, SA with depression. I knew I had issues with people, but didn't find out I had SA & depression until 12 yrs ago when my mom took me to see a therapist and I was diagnosed with it. Even though I was diagnosed, my family has never really believed it and my friends think I'm making up excuses. They have all made me feel so horribly awful about myself that I don't mention anything about my disorder to anyone anymore. I've seen countless therapists and let me tell you NONE OF THEM HELPED ME AT ALL. If you can believe this - some of them even made it worse. I had therapists calling me stupid for the way I felt and the drugs they gave me just gave me for anxiety just made me more in pain. I hope when you are able to talk to someone they don't make you feel as bad as I've been made to feel. Just be cautious. Most of the people I've told either think I'm lying or just ignore/avoid me. People who understand are rare and should be treasured...