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Old 02-17-2011, 11:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Have you ever been rejected by the opposite sex so many times that you don't date?

I've been rejected by every single guy I've ever liked. Combine this with my extreme shyness and recent social anxiety and you get a girl who does not date. Everytime I ever even smile at a guy that I like, he brings out his girlfriend the next time I see him. I have an awful radar for guys that are already taken.

Do you think you are undesirable, unworthy, and basically not worth loving? I do. And I'm struggling with it. Because somewhere inside I know I'm lovable and have good qualities, but can't seem to convince guys of this. People keep saying I'm pretty, which disgusts me, because that doesn't equate to being loved and accepted.

The only guys who approach me are scary guys with huge beards, guys a lot older than me, and psycho-desperate men. I try to project a calm and put together image and am constantly studying. So I don't know why these types are drawn to me.

Do you ever wish you could attract someone that is normal to you? Rather than freaks and weirdos? How do you stop attracting predators to you if you already feel like a victim and insecure about your life?
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Old 02-17-2011, 11:57 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by witherwings View Post
I've been rejected by every single guy I've ever liked. Combine this with my extreme shyness and recent social anxiety and you get a girl who does not date. Everytime I ever even smile at a guy that I like, he brings out his girlfriend the next time I see him. I have an awful radar for guys that are already taken.

Do you think you are undesirable, unworthy, and basically not worth loving? I do. And I'm struggling with it. Because somewhere inside I know I'm lovable and have good qualities, but can't seem to convince guys of this. People keep saying I'm pretty, which disgusts me, because that doesn't equate to being loved and accepted.

The only guys who approach me are scary guys with huge beards, guys a lot older than me, and psycho-desperate men. I try to project a calm and put together image and am constantly studying. So I don't know why these types are drawn to me.

Do you ever wish you could attract someone that is normal to you? Rather than freaks and weirdos? How do you stop attracting predators to you if you already feel like a victim and insecure about your life?
I do not believe one is defined by a job, a disorder, or a relationship. You are not to question if you are worthy of love, (it is if another is worthy of yours). Everyone has the right to be loved and respected.. You are not an exception to this, but a reason for it.
That you first.. feel selfless enough to try to put the blame inward instead of putting it on another human being, shows great quality..

Love you~ the rest will follow..
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Old 02-17-2011, 11:59 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Not really, luckily for me. I don't flirt or anything with anyone, I love my girlfriend and wouldnt dare tread waters to 'find out'. I know I could, but its one of those things where it doesnt cross my mind.

But honestly, even if my girlfriend and I split up, I think I would like to be alone for awhile. Relationships can be hard work you know?
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Old 02-17-2011, 12:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Ive made 3 attemps. 1st. in 2nd grade a girl I crushed on had her friend say "she doesnt like you because my race." (echos in my head till this day)

2nd. In 8th grade got a yes on V-day, It was one of the happiest days of my life. Then the next day I got turned down soon as I saw her in the morning.

3rd. 2 years ago I was shut down because I was too short. She was nice about it and gave me false complaments. I dropped out of school that year.

Im just trying to protect my heart these days.
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, sometimes I feel this way. "There's nothing wrong with you," they say, but hey, I'm still single. And I also got rejected by someone to whom I told that I like him. But I just said that, "Oh, we didn't match, it's alright! The spark just wasn't there, right?". He was surprised at how lightly I took it. It hurts me a lot deep inside. As far as I know, he's been dating cute girls and I secretly think he thinks I'm not cute enough. But, at least I walked out in style. And one day, he made a FollowFriday for me in his Twitter, saying, "Follow her, a girl with character."

I'm still messed up and single, but girl, don't lose your style. I'm sure you're a pretty cool girl. You will have some respect by the people who even reject you Go go go!
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by i just want luv View Post
Ive made 3 attemps. 1st. in 2nd grade a girl I crushed on had her friend say "she doesnt like you because your black." (echos in my head till this day)

2nd. In 8th grade got a yes on V-day, It was one of the happiest days of my life. Then the next day I got turned down soon as I saw her in the morning.

3rd. 2 years ago I was shut down because I was too short. She was nice about it and gave me false complaments. I dropped out of school that year.

Im just trying to protect my heart these days.
Wow, I feel for you man; I didn't think second graders knew how to discriminate based on color. I honestly don't remember anyone caring about race when I was that young, in fact almost everyone in my school was dating (if you can call it that) outside of their race because nobody ever made a big deal out of it. Anyway, don't let that memory be a road block to your well being, there are plenty of women out there that don't care what color you are as long as your a decent guy.
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Old 02-17-2011, 06:36 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Well, you're getting approached by guys you don't want, which is obviously annoying but it does suggest that you don't have a problem attracting guys per se, so sooner or later one of the guys you like is going to like you back.

In the meantime, do you wear glasses? If you don't, start. I'm serious. When my sister started wearing contacts she immediately started attracting unwanted attention, but when she switches back to glasses it evaporates like magic. I've always worn glasses and have never had any male attention at all. They are really good at weeding out the random chancers. Or you could gain some weight. That's even better.
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Every guy I liked rejected me, so I dont even try because most men already hate me when they see me. This has been happening ever since I have been a young girl. All the other girls can get boyfriends, but something about me is very different from others.
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:03 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I've never gotten the chance to be rejected.
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:17 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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how many times have you been rejected in your life?


sounds like you might have rejected more men than you have been rejected by...
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:22 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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It seems to me like you are just automatically judging guys based on their appearance. How do you know if they are psychos or not.
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:07 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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[/QUOTE]The only guys who approach me are scary guys with huge beards, guys a lot older than me, and psycho-desperate men. I try to project a calm and put together image and am constantly studying. So I don't know why these types are drawn to me.

Do you ever wish you could attract someone that is normal to you? Rather than freaks and weirdos? How do you stop attracting predators to you if you already feel like a victim and insecure about your life?
[/QUOTE]

This is what sticks out to me. You sound uncannily similar to all the guys around here who claim that all the datable chicks only go for the pompous jerks. Maybe you need to take a second look at the desperate guy. Since you are an attractive girl, those are the type of guys that will treat you like a queen. You might want to reconsider how you judge potential boyfriends. You're not going to get very far in the dating world if you are shallowly judging guys you don't even know. Sorry, but I have a medium sized beard and certainly could be seen as desperate, so I was a little offended by this (half kidding).
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Old 02-17-2011, 11:47 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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No, haven't been rejected yet. Too hard to even get to the asking stage, let alone get rejected.
Some people keep blowing money on lotteries and never win, and some people just never play.
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Old 02-18-2011, 12:30 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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I've only been rejected a few times, but that was enough to permanently put me off trying again.
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Old 02-18-2011, 02:56 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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I never ask seriously but I do get rejected in the past when I went for blind meetups after we talk online for a while.

After 18, everything was like blaaaaahhhhh. I never did any asking. So no rejections.
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Old 02-18-2011, 08:11 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Old 02-18-2011, 08:42 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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What's so scary about huge beards??
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Old 02-18-2011, 09:01 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by witherwings View Post
People keep saying I'm pretty, which disgusts me, because that doesn't equate to being loved and accepted.
Same here, I'm a man. Girls flirt with me but they don't want to date me. The worst part is hearing how you're attractive is that you feel you're wasting it. And wake up old one day and "missed the train."

Quote:
The only guys who approach me are scary guys with huge beards, guys a lot older than me, and psycho-desperate men. I try to project a calm and put together image and am constantly studying. So I don't know why these types are drawn to me.
Some older men with beards can get any young super model they want. Some men, like 1% of all men, improve as they age, just like wine.



Well maybe not young models, but he still looks good for being bald and 80 years old.

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Old 02-18-2011, 09:22 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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I did get rejected by the one guy I actually liked but it was for the better anyways since I'm a killjoy. He saved himself if anything. But I never had a chance to reject anyone because guys my age don't talk to me, except for 40-60 year old dudes on bus stops and such. I've given up on dating because it's way too hard to even find someone that would have enough in common with me and actually tolerate my quietness.
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